Key things to say to a head of inclusion sponsor

[Thethingswedoforlove]

Was out for dinner this evening with some friends. Turns out one of them (husband of my childhood friend) runs the dei network for a big U.K. firm. He is very senior there. They are a gay couple so they understand the perspective of facing discrimination etc. I asked whether the firm was linked to stonewall. Big yes. I said I thought they are toxic. And that I would like to separately talk to him to make him aware of how some women would definitely be feeling at his work but would be too scared to say openly. He called me a terf, said that the risks are overstated and that because he has a trans woman helping him lead the network that was already covered. I explained that she didn’t understand in the same way that I could explain as she isn’t a woman in the same way that I am a woman and he just totally dismissed me. His husband (my friend) was trying to broke the peace and suggest we had a conversation offline over lunch or something. I explained the legal risk I’m not following the equality act 2010 and that I would be happy to chat. I won’t follow it up but if he does, what can I possibly say to him? I said he is male and therefore doesn’t have a reason to get what I am trying to say and he asked me not to exclude him. Is it utterly pointless trying to chat to him?

Thanks @WittyWhatNow . Not sure why you are giving such personal attacks. And i wasn’t a guest. We were all out at a restaurant. I’m fine with no follow up conversation. One was offered to someone who I genuinely thought might want to hear the perspective they might not have come across before. And I most definitely have not critiqued anyone’s professional role. But you aren’t going to listen and you know better even though you weren’t there.

@Thethingswedoforlove
You were brave and principled.
Whether you decide to take it further or not, rest assured that you did the right thing.

As previous posters have said, equality and diversity is about balance. All protected characteristics are equally important. This friend of your husband seems not to realise that. Also, he is ignorant of the law. There is a clear definition of "woman" in the EA2010, underlined by case law and in the recent speech of the former AG. He really, really should be au fait with the most important piece of legislation in his field. His failings will have real consequences for women and gender critical people in his organisation. You've actually done him a favour, even if he doesn't appreciate it!

@BellaAmorosa thank you

If you feel there is a personal attack in any of the replies to you OP then do report it to mnhq. They frown on that sort of thing.

Meanwhile, this sounds a lot like what your comments may have felt like at the dinner, passing uninvited judgement on a workplace and role you have no direct connection with or knowledge of at all.

But you aren’t going to listen and you know better even though you weren’t there.

I don't remotely get the impression the OP wants to report you and have your posts deleted WhittyWhatNow. Far better for us all to be able to read everyone's contributions for ourselves and come to our own conclusions about their value to the discussion.