Another surrogacy nightmare

[GrabbyGabby]

What the fuck will happen to these babies?
www.newstalk.com/news/im-terrified-for-my-girls-safety-irish-father-of-triplets-born-in-kenya-1394106?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1666210282

This is what happens when humans are allowed to be bought and sold.

Yes 'using' being the operative word. This awful couple really think it's just like hiring someone to landscape their garden or something. Though they would probably give the garden designer more respect than the mother of their child.

It bothers me more because the child is female actually. What misogynistic attitudes is she going to internalise, growing up? Poor little thing.

Is there a word that specifically means 'hatred of mothers'? These stories make me think there must be.

I'm actually starting to question same sex adoption for the values a child may inadvertently pick up.

I'm wrong, I know, because dc pick up lessons from having a shit dad or a narcissistic mum.

But two man hating women (trope, sorry) or two misogynistic men are a real risk to a balanced DC.

Gosh, what a horrible path to go down. I'll go and wash my brain and mouth out now. But those guys do gay rights no favours at all.

I don't think you are wrong @picklemewalnuts
This little girl will have to navigate periods, grow into a young woman. Who may or may not be naturally heterosexual and want children of her own conceived the normal way. I think it will be difficult for a young woman to recognise her instincts and be in tune with her natural biology when she has been reared with no role model for this and possibly with actual misogynistic values.

Interestingly one of the things that came up earlier in the thread re: adoptions in Nigeria was that lone woman could not adopt a boy and a lone man could not adopt a girl.

Same sex relationships are not legal in Nigeria but in a country where they are, you could certainly make a case that a gay male couple would be better suited to adopting boys and a lesbian couple better suited to adopting girls (weirdly tho, I seem to recall that women using donated sperm are more likely to conceive boys, something to do with y sperms behaviour being better suited to IUI than x sperms? This means lesbians are statistically more likely to be mothers of boys than mothers of girls).

Of course, in a carefully vetted adoption scenario a social worker might encounter a gay male couple with lots of close knit sisters/mothers young enough to be around for a good long time and vice versa, lesbians with very present brothers/dads and be satisfied that an opposite sex child placement will be perfectly fine (single mums of sons and widower dads of daughters have to muddle through as best they can, after all).

However, in the luxury-surrogacy baby-buying world commissioners can just engage clinics in countries that permit embryo sex selection, and have the designer-dress-up-dolly-babies -of-their-dreams

They can pick a pink/blue embryo to match the pink/blue nursery 🤢

think it will be difficult for a young woman to recognise her instincts and be in tune with her natural biology when she has been reared with no role model for this and possibly with actual misogynistic values.

Saffron Drewitt Barlow has offered her eggs to one of her fathers, so he and his fiancé (her ex boyfriend) can have another surrogate born baby (whilst he is still married to her other father). So far her father has refused and he runs a casting session for egg donors when he wants a new baby. She also wants to have a family through surrogacy but her father Barrie did tell her to 'do it herself'. Perhaps he is surprised despite her being surrounded by surrogacy as all of his children are surrogate-born and they run a surrogacy agency.

However, in the luxury-surrogacy baby-buying world commissioners can just engage clinics in countries that permit embryo sex selection, and have the designer-dress-up-dolly-babies -of-their-dreams

The Drewitt Barlows provide an example of this too. Valentina, the youngest daughter. is one of triplets but her two brothers were terminated in utero by 'foetal reduction', also known as sex section, as Barrie had enough boys. Saffron can at least offer some guidance to Valentina on periods etc as an older sister.

What?

A surrogate born girl, offers her dad an egg, so he can have a child with her ex boyfriend who is now his boyfriend?

Have I got that right?

Honestly where is the ethics committee in this?

And Saffron has internalised that pregnancy is a career option, providing a service to those rich enough to avoid it? Like I dunno, cleaning or laundry? Something the privileged outsource to the less privileged?

Keeping Up with the Kardashians… innit?

Commercial surrogacy is just another celebrity influencer purchase to brag about on Insta.

I just can't even ... with that stuff about Saffron Drewitt Barlow

“..Barrie had enough boys..”

Wow. These people think they’re at the pick’n’mix counter.

Wow, that just beggars belief doesn't it?
That poor girl growing up obliged to offer her egg.

Poor Saffron, she has been fed some very strange ideas and values in her short life. She is barely 20, I dread to think what this poor girl is going to do with the rest of her time in the tabloids on earth.

Honestly where is the ethics committee in this?

This is America, which is pretty much the Wild West of surrogacy and is only a hop, skip, junk away from Ukraine levels of exploitation.

There are no ethics, only profits.

Wow. These people think they’re at the pick’n’mix counter.

Barrie and his fiancé Scot did have another child, a bit this time. Born again via surrogacy in August.

Barrie is also a sperm donor so he has other genetic children.

I'm sure this thread has moved on, but I just had to say that when I reached this post I was thinking the same thing. That gofundme page sounds like a scam email.

Not a scam. He got the babies "home" by shelling out loads of cash

‘Our daughters are home, finally’ – Irish couple reunited with surrogate triplets born in Kenya
www.independent.ie/regionals/dublin/dublin-news/our-daughters-are-home-finally-irish-couple-reunited-with-surrogate-triplets-born-in-kenya-42116141.html

They say 'Couples like us shouldn't have to go to abroad'

What stopped them doing it at home? Was it not a cost issue? Irish women and clinics needing greater recompense than those in Kenya?

They say 'Couples like us shouldn't have to go to abroad'

I imagine this is to do with parental rights and how restrictions on the criteria is more relaxed than it in the U.K rather than it being about cost/payment. Their argument being that the U.K. needs to update its 'outdated' law (I have noticed how frequently this is emphasised as a reason for reform) to align with 'modern families'.

Kenya isn't a good example as there are no specific surrogacy laws but other countries such as Georgia, Ukraine and most American States provide parental rights at birth, which is a central point of the proposed law reform in England, Wales and Scotland. Ireland is a different kettle of fish entirely.

There are also different restrictions in other countries than the proposals here, for example Ukraine won't allow it for same-sex couples (same as Kenya) and surrogacy agencies in America require the surrogate mother to have had previous successful pregnancies and live births.

I doubt an Irish clinic would transfer three embryos? That’s an extremely high risk pregnancy for mother and babies…

I see he managed to get the babies back to Ireland. His go fund me raised 40,000 euro. Wow. He flew out with his sister not his partner, so I guess they turned a blind eye to his relationship. I hope the babies are ok now. The HSE will be picking up the tab now and nobody will be ''go funding'' that.

yeh two embryos is the limit

They're from Ireland though, so not UK law (I don't think?)

I'm sure it's the costs- three babies etc.

'Couples like us shouldn't have to go abroad' so does he expect that the Irish government should subsidise the costs?
Or perhaps he thinks that women in Ireland should be pushed into becoming surrogate mothers or egg donors, and be sanctioned at the JobCentre (or whatever the Irish equivalent is called) if they can't get suitable work and refuse to do this.
What is he suggesting exactly?

What is wrong with adopting /fostering a child?

I don't think this particular man is too bright and he hasnt really thought it through, but it's easy to imagine where this could lead. It makes me shudder.

Yes, so annoying that irish women aren't offering up their women's for minimum wage.
He was so lucky he got those babies back to Ireland and he feels like a wronged victim.