Moment of realisation

[Footballmatchdilemma]

I was at an event last night where a trans woman I know vaguely was there. I had no reason to speak to them (the configuration of the room meant I wouldn’t have been able to if id wanted to anyway), but I could see them.

They are about my age, 40s, slim, nice clothes, long hair etc. But what made me, frankly, a bit pissed off, is that I thought, how nice for them to enjoy the long hair and the clothes and blah blah, but at this point in their life, what they won’t have to deal with, which most women will, is the sodding menopause. It hasn’t hit me yet, but I’m worried about how it will make me feel.

This person has no idea about this aspect of being a woman. No the menopause, not periods, not childbirth, none of it. How can they possibly, in any way, believe themselves to be a woman?! These things are the reality, before you even begin to talk about the burden of care that usually falls on women, low salaries etc.

It made me so very grumpy, and there’s no one I can talk to about it because my friends aren’t interested and my sister is all ‘be kind’.

A happy childfree woman has had to do far more to avoid becoming pregnant than any male, hasn't she?

I mean, in that every three years I went to the doctor and had my coil replaced and then when I wanted kids I had it taken out. So, yeah, that's half an hour every three years which someone without a utetus wouldn't have had to deal with but I really didn't stress it and don't now.

Obvs, having kids was a massive game changer but I think if I'd not wanted one, it wouldn't have been a huge logistical issue. Are the rest of you all genuinely spending huge amounts of time worrying about how to not get pregnant? In the 21st century with all the contraceptive options available?

Not all women give birth but only women do. The menopause only affects women and it will change how you look at a lot of things. For example, you will have less patience with men and handmaidens who say biology isn't important and doesn't define you as a woman. Because it is about to become fucking important.
I'm sure transwomen have lots of challenges but they aren't women's challenges.

Same here.

@sunshineandstrawberryjam maybe the logistics aren’t that arduous but what about the assumptions made because the happy child free woman is of the sex class that give birth? The jobs she might not have got because people assume (wrongly) that she’ll want maternity leave. The lower pay. The jobs she might not have considered because they’re not generally jobs done by women. It’s not logistics, it’s misogyny.

"I mean, in that every three years I went to the doctor and had my coil replaced and then when I wanted kids I had it taken out. So, yeah, that's half an hour every three years which someone without a utetus wouldn't have had to deal with but I really didn't stress it and don't now. "
Lucky you. Didn't have the option of a coil so it's not really the fix it you think it is.
Women need to spend a bit more time thinking about the consequences of gender ideology on women that aren't them.

Oh that's a disgrace. One more example of the conflict between trans demands and women's rights. If they could just enjoy the clothes etc, and living in a tolerant country in which they are not only safe but also given special privilegees (eg the right to change their birth certificates, being let off prison in many cases because the judge thinks they'll have a hard time).

But no, they have to take things that belong to women. They have to deprive us of some of our few assets. They have to make us accept less than our rights.

Why?

Frankly, yes, I did worry about it. Sometimes because I didn't have the money to raise one (when we needed both our jobs to pay the mortgage, & this was decades ago), sometimes for very personal reasons I won't go into. In addition, I couldn't get on with some methods of contraception (e.g. my body wouldn't work with any of the c pills I was prescribed). It took a lot of time & stress & visits to the GP to get nowhere.

You sound extraordinarily lucky, if you had no medical problems, & could have & afford multiple children so easily.

What is it the young woke say? Mind your privilege?

Well yeah, even today contraception isn't great.

I'm glad it worked for you but I personally wouldn't go near a coil & the contraceptive pill can't be safely taken for very long.

Lots of women are not able to take or tolerate hormonal contraception, for an assortment of health reasons which can include anything from migraine to blood clotting disorders.

On the NHS thread that was just deleted. There was someone (apologies I did not get the name) who really lit my thinking on this.

it was much better expressed than this but along the lines:
🚂women demands based on their gender (using single spaces, sports, etc) are actually claiming rights that exist because of biological differences between the sexes.

This idea of TWAW is the latest manifestation of misogyny. Women are a figment of certain men imagination. Their idea of what a woman is consist of what men think (womens perspective, experience and voice is minimal in the culture we live in, as the sex Ed in our schools demonstrates).

Having said that I have heard a few testimonies from transsexuals that get it and see clearly how male is the attitude of colonisation that some new transgenders are taking.

BTW does anyone know how to see deleted threads? Thanks 🙏

Am lying in bed today in the heat wearing an enormous nappy catching loads of peri menopausal period blood sticking two fingers up at Lia Thomas winning ‘woman of the year’

I'm glad the coil worked for you; it doesn't for every woman. I personally don't fancy it at all.

The walk-in family planning clinics near me closed during lockdown and haven't reopened (they used to open at times friendly to those in full time work). That means a 6 monthly faff of getting through to my GP on the phone and trying to get an appointment for a pill renewal that doesn't inconvenience my job. I also acknowledge I'm extremely fortunate to have used oral contraceptives with no side effects.

@Ndd135632 , hope it treats you kindly and pisses off soon

Why are they deserving of appreciation? What have they done to be appreciated?

@bellinisurge ❤️

Lia Thomas: brave woman of the year 🤮

Surely isn't that what trans people are doing though? They are opting out of their biological sex?

The theory why trans and NB ideology is hitting so many young people because it gives them a way to opt out of puberty et al.

Yes but the surge is girls ‘opting out’ of being female. Why would that be ?

Like all male born people transwomen grew up with male privilege, as did I. The difference between them and me is that I have not said that I need access to women only spaces, which they don't need. I just don't see what is to be celebrated about trampling on women. I honestly don't get it, but as I'm unwoke my usual response to them of 'cry harder' is more often than not ignored. Fine by me, but my daughters (who have drunk the Kool-Aid) know that at least I have their back.

It’s rather debatable whether you can in fact opt out if male privilege if everyone is aware you’re a trans woman anyway.

One of our frequent forum visitors, Robin White, points out how she has kept her male voice rather than have vocal cord surgery, because it benefits her practice at the bar. Similarly, have Pip Bunce or Eddie Izzard opted out of male privilege?

What is wrong with being a transwoman?
Why the people banging on about true self don’t want to be transwomen?

I haven’t been through the menopause, my implant prevents pregnancy and periods and I don’t want to have children so I won’t ever go through childbirth. I also don’t wear pretty dresses - am I a woman because I haven’t or won’t experience those things in the OP?

I actually don't think this is a particularly pleasant thread. I'm gender critical and don't believe you can change sex, but I think starting a thread picking apart another person's presentation is a bit spiteful.

But you have had periods, you no doubt will go through the menopause, and even if you didn’t do either of these things, assuming you look and sound like a woman (which you will as you are one), people will treat you as one.

honestly don't get this attitude.

I'm hot as all holy crap today, grumpy as hell as a result and it's the time of the month so extra grumpy.

Really cannot get my head round flipping fingers at people who go through different experiences to me.
Just what is the point?!
I don't think it's a healthy place to be in.
Plus I never feel more reduced to my body parts and functions than when I'm on this board.

@CandyLeBonBon it’s not picking apart someone’s looks - men are entitled to wear and look however they please. But ‘woman’ is not a costume you can put on.