Books to help my daughter embrace being a girl

[GrabbyGabby]

I have a gender non conforming, neurodiverse 7 year old girl.

She is starting to learn more about rhe biological reality of being a girl, and she doesn't like what she is hearing, saying she would rather be a boy. I don't think she wants to be a boy, I think there are elements of being a girl that she is scared of and i cant say as i blame her.

I want her to understand her body as it is now and what it will become and not be scared. I want her to see role models of all types of women (the cunty ones), butch lesbians, glamorous ladies, clever, strong and powerful women to inspire her.

What books / resources would you recommend? Feel like i need to get ahead of this one.

There's a sweet book by Christine Northrup called 'beautiful girl' which we like. Also there are loads of books of stories of inspirational women.

I'm thinking of writing one... <3

lots of awesome books for more gown up people but I can't find the book I want so...I'll keep watching this thread

Jenni Murray's history of the world in 21 women is great (and helpful)but a little less directly what you're looking for probably.

If you want good fiction with a strong female lead then The Polar Bear Explorer's Club is great for her age.

It's about explore clubs but they only allow men and boys. Her dad was/is a member (he is also gay! He found her abandoned as a baby and raised her. She turns out to be a magical ice person)
She decides the man only rule is bullshit and gets herself into an exhibition and then she kicks ass basically. They're very good books.

Milli Hill - My Period: Find Your Flow and Feel Proud of Your Period! - my DD loves this book.
There's also "Fantastically Great Women" series.

Another hands up for My Period, Milli Hill. Me and my daughter aged 10 read it together last year. It was great. I think it's helped her feel comfortable with talking about her own body and about puberty and periods in general. She has a trans identified half sister, and I was determined she would have a good sound understanding of being female in the material sense.

Does she know any great women? Female friends of yours or any aunts? Female friendships are one of the best things about being a woman imo, can you bring her along or start including her in some awesome female company so she can see what she is part of.

The women in history/science/sport books are great.
Does she like action/ adventure? If so she'll probably love learning about the fierce female pirates from history or various female warriors.
I've always tried to make sure my dd is used to seeing women in jobs/ roles that are traditionally male. I use a female mechanics, decorators, take her to a female dentist etc

I'd recommend getting into sport if you can so she learns to see just how awesome her body is and what it can achieve.

I would look into the classics of childrens literature…I think I was shaped by characters like Jo March and Joey Bettany, both of whom might be seen as gender non conforming nowadays but actually were just women defying stereotypes and sexist limitations. I know they are old fashioned but they might reflect some of the issues she will be exposed to, and at the same time they are fantastic female role models who I fell in love with as a child.

And historical figures - Elizabeth i etc - make her proud of being a girl and realise that when someone makes her feels boys are better the problem lies with them, not her.

good luck!

I went to see the musical show based on the Fantastically Great Women books with my DD. It was really fantastic and inspiring - if you can get tickets, do!
fantasticallygreatwomenthemusical.com/

Has she tried some of the classic books for girls that age like The Worst Witch series, Ramona Quimby, etc? For the 7-12 age bracket there are some great books and series where feisty and clever girls are the protagonists.

We've loved:
Strong is the new pretty
Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls

There is a book by an Irish writer - Sinéad Burke called "Break the Mould" how to take your place in the world. It is wrote from her perspective of being a woman, a little person, a teacher and an activist.

It was bought as a present for my son - and he found it very interesting and he picked up a lot of the messages in the book.

The book comes with a very clear message of being unique, how to find your voice, to be you. Given Sinéads' teaching/writing background it is very accessible and supportive of young people helping to be themselves.

That message may support your daughters need?

Is she into sports at all? Could you get her into watching women’s climbing competitions? I really enjoy watching them, the commentary purely focuses on the sport and technique and the climbing itself shows incredible physical strength and skill. There aren’t any comments on the climbers body’s unless it’s height or reach related to a move.

Janja Garnbret is an amazing role model.

Oh god we loved the fantastically great women musical. And it wasnt obviously feminine with lots of pretty dresses etc. The soundtrack can be heard on youtube or streamed on amazon, spotify etc as its coming to the end of its tour for this year (we are hoping to see it again next time).

Also the milli hill book a pp mentioned is brilliant. The polar explorer series is on my list for DD.

Are pony books passé? A little less direct but I loved them as a girl.

There’s the Little People, Big Dreams series (books) - loads of them about all sorts of famous men and through history - plenty are about women.

These are older books and not sure how they've stood up to the test of time but I recall the Ramona Quimby and Jinny at Finmory (horsey books) having strong female characters.

Have a look at this, marawa is a great story www.booktopia.com.au/the-girl-guide-marawa-ibrahim/book/9781847809483.html

^ My post is supposed to say ‘men and women’ ^- not just men, sorry! Fail! 😳

Thanks for that. Time to start stacking our library

A lot of the Tamora Pierce stuff is great - girls dealing with becoming knights or wizards in a man's world. Having just re read them, though, there is a bit of breast-binding to avoid being found out. For 11 year olds on, I'd say. Lots of supportive men and women (and animals) in the stories, though.

There are old classics like The Wolves of Willoughby Hall (okay for 7) and all the Arthur Ransome books which I read at 7 but depends on your DC's reading age. The latter do break out of typecasting which is surprising for Thirties books but very white as most pre Sixties books are. Also try Who Sir? Me Sir? which is funny and interesting as comprehensive kids take on the local private school.

Having been a therapist to trans presenting teens in the past, I would advise you to make her aware of your power. Give her something to emulate.

Unsurprisingly, how my clients view of their mothers was really important in how they felt about being girls and becoming women.

All the best @GrabbyGabby.

Old fashioned books- Arther Ransom Swallows and Amazon's best avoid famous five

Jo March, maybe, but - Joey Bettany? She was as conformist as possible. A mother to umpteen children who depended on her husband for financial support.

If you’re on Facebook look up A Mighty Girl, lots of good books etc signposted on there too