Should I make a complaint?

[GatherlyGal]

So I was recently admitted to hospital with a gynae problem.

After 3 or 4 hours in A&E and feeling very faint and generally crap I was seen by the doctor who said he'd have to examine me before gynae would come and look at me.

To do the exam he said he'd need a chaperone and he called in a nurse. The nurse was wearing a women's uniform but was very obviously male - rainbow glasses, rainbow badges, lanyard etc.

Of course I SHOULD have objected but I didn't twig immediately and I just wasn't with it enough or brave enough to challenge. The nurse was fine and just stood behind the doc looking a bit awkward.

It just seems crazy to me to go to the trouble of finding a chaperone but choosing another male.

Would you complain? I am thinking more of other more vulnerable women particularly who have suffered abuse. If I had been asked I would have said "no thanks" but bringing it up myself was too difficult in the circumstances.

I’m sorry that happened to you. What I would suggest is writing to the hospital first to ask for the logic for the doctor requiring a chaperone (don’t say anything about male/female: question that fact that, for you, it meant two people in the room seeing you naked rather than one).

I wonder if they will say it was because you are female...

OP I had a check with my doctor recently in the breast area so not even as intimate as your appointment and she offered me a chaperone. The doctor was already female, perhaps gender doesn't come into it and they need two people there.

But having two males is a bit of an odd choice, not very commonsense as you might have found it very intimidating to be outnumbered.

I'm really sorry that happened and I think you should definitely clarify the chaperone policy.

Having two males in the room when you are vulnerable and being intimately examined is definitely something to be queried.

As you say, a more vulnerable woman could have found that really traumatic. It may be that the trust hasn't considered this.

I'd be fucking raging if I were you OP.

Hopefully a wise Viper or several will be along shortly to advise on some Strong Wording but if your absolutely positive it was a male bodied person that's not on.

Ps sorry OP, forgot to add I hope you are feeling better and it's sorted?

To clarify this is the part if have a problem with.

What happens if the other 'male' nurse identified as a woman 😳 we are doomed as a gender

Having two males in the room when you are vulnerable and being intimately examined is definitely something to be queried.

///

It's this part I'd have the problem with, to clarify. I'd have been extremely uncomfortable with this.

The issue is, unless you ask for a female doctor your rights aren’t engaged at all. Whether or not you are entitled for the chaperone to be the same sex as you, I have no idea. So it might well be that two male practitioners isn’t an issue (ie the chaperone is there to make sure the male doctor isn’t accused of impropriety). On the other hand, if the doctor is supposed to find a chaperone of the same sex as the patient, he clearly failed to do that.

In A&E you get what you get of course - everyone is running around and it's generally an unpleasant place to be never mind when you are unwell. Privacy and dignity are in short supply in a bay with a flimsy curtain and noise and people all around.

It's the logic of going to the trouble of getting another person and yet getting a male - the feeling I am left with is that the doc prioritised the feelings of the the male nurse over mine as a woman who is unwell and having to get her vag out in a relatively public place

Which is why I suggest asking for the logic first (and ideally the written policy).

I would be querying, asking for notes, and making a formal complaint, yes. Why do you think the doc asked for a chaperone - because he himself was male? Then why ask another male to attend? Also odd particularly if the chaperone was themself awkward and being pushed into it.

The chaperone is to protect the healthcare worker from allegations of assault and to protect the patient from assault - it doesn’t matter what gender they are.

Yes thanks @achillestoes you articulated it very well.

Gender doesn't have anything to do with the chaperone thing.

They didnt tell you they were getting a woman. It doesn't need to be a woman. They told you they needed a third party in the room, and that's what you got.

It isnt about them being male or female. It's just having a third person in the room so you have a witness.

If you want female only care then ask for it and you'll have to fight the NHS policy of transwomen and women unfortunately. But in this case, it wasn't about sex or gender. It was just having a third person in the room, any third person, and this one happened to be trans.

This.

The patient should be offered a chaperone and the patient should choose whether they wish the chaperone to be male or female.

Papwoeth NHS trust.

Protecting the patient from vulnerability and embarrassment means that the chaperone is usually of the same sex as the patient.

Doncaster NHS Trust

Other trusts have similar wording. Worthy of a complaint

And their role is not simply to protect against alleged assaults.

This is the wording from the hospital website:

We are committed to providing a safe and comfortable environment, where patients and staff can be confident that best practice is being followed at all times and the safety of patients and staff is paramount. We automatically offer a chaperone for certain examinations and investigations. Please contact the department concerned if you have any queries about this.

The point for me is why subject a woman to being naked in front of 2 men instead of 1. Hard to see that being in the patient's best interest.

They should have a policy doc like this OP

www.dbth.nhs.uk/document/patps2/

www.rcn.org.uk/professional-development/publications/rcn-genital-examination-in-women-pub007961

www.cqc.org.uk/guidance-providers/gps/gp-mythbuster-15-chaperones

These may be useful.

Of course not; gender very rarely matters.

Sex, however, is often important, particularly in instances like this where a chaperone is involved.

It's in your best interested because you're not alone with one person who could then do anything to you because there is no witness.

My personal feeling is that I don't care what sex or made up gender someone is as long as they are qualified and are the correct person to give me that medical care. Having another person in the room just makes it all a bit safer for everyone. Sex makes no difference.

I can understand other women only wanting a woman to provide their care. I get it. And only wanting a woman chaperone. But I keep coming back to "It' s A&E. Your healthcare is free. Take whichever doctor is available to treat you."

@WeAreBob yes I agree and I was treated by a male doctor. My issue is that when the male doctor chose a chaperone they chose another male. There were other females around at the time.

The point for me is why subject a woman to being naked in front of 2 men instead of 1. Hard to see that being in the patient's best interest.

I think that's a very valid point, OP. If the available chaperone is a man then I think this should be made clear.

It doesn't sound like this was made clear or that you were given the chance to decline.

I'm not sure I'd put it as a complaint but I do think asking them to train their staff on chaperone usage more carefully (i.e. same sex where possible and option to refuse) is perfectly reasonable.

I would not make any assumptions about this man's gender in your letter.