Should I make a complaint?

[GatherlyGal]

So I was recently admitted to hospital with a gynae problem.

After 3 or 4 hours in A&E and feeling very faint and generally crap I was seen by the doctor who said he'd have to examine me before gynae would come and look at me.

To do the exam he said he'd need a chaperone and he called in a nurse. The nurse was wearing a women's uniform but was very obviously male - rainbow glasses, rainbow badges, lanyard etc.

Of course I SHOULD have objected but I didn't twig immediately and I just wasn't with it enough or brave enough to challenge. The nurse was fine and just stood behind the doc looking a bit awkward.

It just seems crazy to me to go to the trouble of finding a chaperone but choosing another male.

Would you complain? I am thinking more of other more vulnerable women particularly who have suffered abuse. If I had been asked I would have said "no thanks" but bringing it up myself was too difficult in the circumstances.

I think that you need to be clear whether it's more their policy you want to complain about, or that it wasn't communicated clearly. Based on what you originally said to them, I think they probably thought the latter, whereas it seems like maybe it is really more the former.

I think it's not uncommon that the policy is just that there be two people rather than one needs to be a woman.

I doubt they would want to have no chaperone, I understand the preference as it's also what I would prefer, but the doctor will probably see it as important for himself.

@Blue4YOU very sorry to hear what you have been through.

I'm not sure what you mean about looking at me in a sexual manner. That is not the point at all. I think that's a pretty low bar for medical professionals! It is about feeling comfortable since I was losing a lot of blood. Neither man offered a pad for the bed or for me or seemed to understand that as I was bleeding heavily then getting naked would be very messy. I asked for a pad and was brought a pantyliner.

I believe having a woman in the room would have made a difference.

So sorry about your experience GatherlyGal and sorry that the NHS don't understand the importance of respectful sex based care. I can guarantee that if you were a Muslim woman, that doctor would have found a woman chaperone.
Sadly they're all so captured in the NHS they can't even use the correct word sex - it's all the amorphous "gender".

You should not have been put in that position.

I think you should be able to choose the sex of the chaperone. It seems obvious to me that most women would prefer a female chaperone. Hopefully you can tell the A and E consultant that.

They might respond by saying that you should have asked for a female chaperone if that is what you wanted. But many women, when unwell and vulnerable, might not feel comfortable to do so. It really demonstrates that unless one has the experience of being female, it's hard to comprehend how these situations feel, how vulnerable we can feel.

Re having to take what you get in A and E - I've worked in A and E and my experience has been that the departments I've worked in try to take the patient's needs into account. I can think of situations where I've been the only female doctor and have been requested by my seniors to see women as the issue has been one where seeing a male doctor might have been distressing.

I'm sorry that didn't happen for you

They might respond by saying that you should have asked for a female chaperone if that is what you wanted. But many women, when unwell and vulnerable, might not feel comfortable to do so. It really demonstrates that unless one has the experience of being female, it's hard to comprehend how these situations feel, how vulnerable we can feel.

Exactly.

Moreover, if women are asked by a male HCP if they wish a chaperone, I am absolutely sure that every one of them would expect the chaperone to be female and wouldn't even think to ask specifically for a woman.

This is the best idea. Instead of going all in and allowing them to fob you off, you go in stages.

I am assuming it's so that you have another female in the room?

Then write back and ask them for their definition of female, in writing, as a formal request.

What would they say then? "anyone who identifies as female"

Now, did they ask you if you identified as female?

It's really important to complain - whenever I challenge new policies at work such as this they always say ' but no one has objected or complained '

Also if it's a new policy to have opposite sex chaperones ask them for the equality inpact statement which they are obliged to do