If I was to ‘live as a man’ from tomorrow, what would I do?

[TheOGCCL]

I don’t pretend to be an expert in trans issues but I am fascinated by how society drives gendered behaviour.

I believe anyone wanting to change gender would normally ‘live’ as the opposite gender for a while, or even permanently. But what does that mean? What would I need to do to live as a man? I’m guessing use male facilities but anything else? Grow a beard? Plenty of men are clean shaven.

I don’t wear dresses or skirts or have long hair, so why do trans females sometimes think this is part of living as a woman?

If you only could make a deal with God,
get him to swap your places. You could be running up that road, running up that hill...

🤣

if their partners are lucky

If I were a man for 24 hours tomorrow, I’d probably spend that whole 24 hours masturbating! 🤚 🍆

I have short hair.
I don’t wear dresses or heals.
I have hobbies that i don’t shut up about (some would consider them ‘male hobbies).
I take my phone to the loo when I’m taking a shit.
I love a pint of Guinness

The only thing I don’t have is a beard 🤣

I’m very much a woman, wouldn’t want to be a man but I guess it would be interesting to be one for a day.

Leave all the kitchen cupboards and drawers open.
Leave your used teabags in the sink.
Milk on the counter all day - so much easier than having to open the fridge.
Eat your wife's special cereal at all hours of the day and night so she finds there's none for breakfast.
Put your dirty dishes near the dishwasher but never in it.
Leave all your chicken bones on your plate - it's amazing how they just jump into the food bin!

Never use the bell on your bike when you’re on a bridal way or pubic footpath. Bells are perfect for letting people know you are behind them. But the blokes round here are far too manly man men to use bells, instead they silently creep up on you and then when directly behind you, they think it’s appropriate to bellow loud and deep - sending me and the dog into the grass verge with a startle.

That’s only if a woman objects to the manspreading. They don’t normally grumble when it’s another man. Actually they dint manspread nearly as much.

Take up a time consuming hobby, ideally one that requires regular trips away and/or expensive equipment.

Stop seeing mess.

Go for loooooong poos.

Get a pay rise.

Do the bare minimum of parenting and collect your medal.

Better yet, leave it down and pee on it

Not tidy up.
Not cook.
Demand dinner from your partner as soon as you get home from work.
Scratch your groin/adjust yourself in public.
Burp/fart/pick nose in public.

Remember to refer to all childcare or child related activities as “babysitting” your kids.

Some, of course, are just gross (peeing in the wrong place). Nothing to stop people of either sex not giving a shit about polishing water marks off mirrors etc.

This would be my first move.

And if that hobby is cycling or golf your partner absolutely cannot name it when complaining about it on Mumsnet because it's "outing"

Actually they dint manspread nearly as much.

Of course they don't, because it's a territorial dominance display and that might get awkward with another man on a bus.

I'd be wondering when International Men's Day was.

I'd shout at women in cars and tell they how to drive better. Only women obviously

19th November.

It's the law that in any meeting, you talk over your female colleagues as if they're not there. Then waffle inanely, sucking up all the available oxygen in the room, and then credit the best suggestion to the man who definitely did not make it, rather than the woman who did.

not planned anything (obviously) just checking it was equal.

Enjoy the extra calories i can eat without putting on weight

Have sex without even worrying about pregnancy and the physical effect it could have on me. Financial maybe. Physical no....

Make a complete theatrical production of making a coffee.

Utterly TRASH the kitchen whilst doing it.

Demand to know why MN hasn't set up Dadsnet, while explaining in detail how disappointed you are that they dared to make provision that you perceive as women-centric without servicing male people first? And then disappear when told they have and hardly any men use it.... And start every post 'Man Here' to make clear that authority has arrived.

A stereotype that seems to be very much enacted is to talk to women as if you're an elderly, particularly conservative university professor from the 1930s, be as condescending and patronising as you possibly can, lavish your wise orders upon them, pat heads and then make sad disappointed daddy noises when they talk to you as if you're an ordinary person and their equal instead of God personified and won't do exactly as you say. Usually at this point you should mention cauldrons and broomsticks.

I thankfully meet very few actual men in reality who even approach this, but it really does seem to be a feature of the fly-by misogynists who wish to express a male gender.

The real defining feature of the much loved men in my life? The luxury of not having to worry or take on board anything that doesn't affect them personally, without the shadow of a doubt that someone else somewhere will sort it out. And she usually does.

Become selectively deaf