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Puzzled by Guardian article

98 replies

TheSummerySilveryPussycat · 30/05/2022 18:33

I hope it is OK to ask what this article means.
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/may/30/i-am-queer-and-proud-even-though-i-am-now-married-to-a-man

OP posts:
PandorasMailbox · 30/05/2022 18:40

What a load of inane waffle that is. They're basically a heterosexual couple desperate to be interesting. It seems they'll let anyone write for the Guardian these days.

SolasAnla · 30/05/2022 18:46

Odd bi-woman marries man, she thinks is boring(?) not hip enough(?) books crap holiday(?) not cool enough for a piss-up at a eurovision party(?)

She need to learn how to do date night 🤣

KimikosNightmare · 30/05/2022 18:48

My goodness, she is insufferable with an ego the size of the planet.

We have hung a rainbow flag in our window (much to the curiosity of our neighbours);

I very much doubt the neighbours are remotely interested.

or have B&B receptionists goggle as we ask for a double bed

And I doubt that happens.

toastedcat · 30/05/2022 18:53

As if the neighbours have noticed or cared about the rainbow flag 😂 Every corporate brand has been plastering their marketing materials with the rainbow for the last five years, it's hardly edgy or interesting. Yes, this sounds like someone desperate to belong to a group perceived as "other" to fulfil their own need for validation.

YouHaveAnArse · 30/05/2022 18:55

She is not straight, although is currently in a heterosexual relationship, and bi/pan erasure is a thing?

As are Erasure.

IcakethereforeIam · 30/05/2022 18:57

Stupid article, not sure if I mean the piece or the author, it's not exactly the Pevenses aging out of Narnia.

BelleTheBananas · 30/05/2022 19:14

I shared this with friends because I genuinely couldn’t work out what sex the author was, which made the article really confusing.

everythingcrossed · 30/05/2022 19:15

She wrote a very good memoir, Lowborn, about growing up in a very deprived family. I'd recommend it.

WallaceinAnderland · 30/05/2022 19:20

I can not work out the sex, gender identity or sexual orientation of the author. All I got was they expect people to find them a bit odd but they're not, they're quite boring. Or something.

Does the writer expect us to already know who he is or whatever?

nepeta · 30/05/2022 19:26

WallaceinAnderland · 30/05/2022 19:20

I can not work out the sex, gender identity or sexual orientation of the author. All I got was they expect people to find them a bit odd but they're not, they're quite boring. Or something.

Does the writer expect us to already know who he is or whatever?

I think in the old language they'd be called bisexual, but married to a man, so they 'pass' as heterosexual to others.

Not sure what queer means in the new language.

ErrolTheDragon · 30/05/2022 19:27

Not sure what queer means in the new language.

Not sure anyone is meant to know. The word 'queer' has been queered.Hmm

DontAskIDontKnow · 30/05/2022 19:28

I think the article is fine. She’s just talking about how differently she was treated when she was in a relationship with a women to when in a relationship with a man. It’s quite an interesting article about being bisexual and really shows how some people treat couples in same-sex female relationships.

MrsGluck · 30/05/2022 19:28

It means she is bi and she is sad about missing Eurovision. Or something

Kerry Hudson is female, though I agree that fact is not made clear in the article. It may be the subeditor rather than the author who assumes readers know that.

Hathertonhariden · 30/05/2022 19:32

Did she think that they wouldn't be welcome at the Eurovision party as they looked like a boring straight couple?

Did come across as completely out of touch with reality. Trying so hard to be edgy and different but nobody else seeing you in that way must be frustrating.

CherrySocks · 30/05/2022 19:40

I think the author means..... she thought she was a lesbian and saw herself as queer but now she's in a relationship with a man, she wants to retain her identity as queer, is adjusting to not having to face homophobia when they book a hotel room or kiss in public, she realises she can't go into queer bars as she is in a heterosexual relationship now, and misses that aspect of her life.

Or - bi-sexual woman has relationship with man and manages to get Guardian to pay for article about it.

Actually now I've explained it, I get what she means.

user1471504747 · 30/05/2022 19:52

I understood the article fine Confused

It’s a bisexual women who is now married to a man, and is getting used to how she now comes across as “straight” to people.

So previously in same sex relationships she would get certain unfriendly reactions etc, which has conditioned her in terms of how she shows public affection and talks about her husband. However she’s getting used to no longer facing this. She also no longer feels comfortable going into bay bars, especially with her husband, as she’ll probably be assumed to be straight and that (plus the prescience of her presumably straight husband) may make people in the club uncomfortable.

So to summarise I guess it’s about the positives and negatives of being bisexual in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, and also how she’s still trying to keep it a pdf of her identity e.g taking her son to pride.

Franca123 · 30/05/2022 19:53

It made me laugh too. Totally pointless.

toastfairy · 30/05/2022 20:24

A lot of Bisexual women end up with guys. We aren't particularly interesting.

Samosably · 30/05/2022 20:36

I know a woman who married young - a man - never been in a relationship with a woman and dresses very typically “female” in so much as we can wear what we want. I knew her before the recent gender explosion and she couldn’t have been more gender conformist. She’s a non-binary queer bisexual woman apparently. And my god does she never stop going on about it.

Nyfluff · 30/05/2022 20:44

I think she means that if she had married a woman she would've felt safer in the gay bar. She's bi and would rather be in the gay bar. But she has a husband so she'll be accepted and not noticed in a non-gay bar. She feels space in a busy gay-friendly bar should be left for those who visibly need it, as people can be offensive or threatening when you're gay in a non gay bar 🙃

Wrongkindofovercoat · 30/05/2022 20:57

I am still learning, but I am trying to give what I can while not taking what is not mine any more. I am queer and proud, but I know my place.

How can anyone read this and not think , this person needs some serious therapy ?

Theeyeballsinthefuckingsky · 30/05/2022 21:00

i just read it & thought “thats nice dear”

she is far less interesting to other ppl than she thinks is she is

LeniGray · 30/05/2022 21:05

I get it, probably because I can relate to an extent. I ‘thought’ I was a lesbian for 20+ years, and then had an unexpected relationship with a man, so had to err … go back in the closet 😳 It was an odd period in my life, I had to reevaluate my understanding of myself - but then I stopped navel gazing about it. I no longer do labels at all, and I know only the people very close to me are interested in my love life. I don’t get why they couldn’t just go and enjoy the Eurovision party though, unless the husband was anti.

MsTSwift · 30/05/2022 21:11

Why is liking Eurovision a sign of being gay or super extrovert fun? My friends extremely conventional low key Dh is obsessed and has a spread sheet. Why are these people so keen to put everyone in boxes 🙄🙄

Gadzookerykookery · 30/05/2022 21:16

Totally made sense to me. It’s a very weird experience being bisexual, with previous long term same sex relationships, and then a long term opposite sex relationship.

And no one talks about it, so it’s lovely to see it written about. I wish the piece had been longer.

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