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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A transwoman feeding their new born baby with their own milk..

593 replies

Soubriquet · 21/05/2022 14:43

A website has said they have lost many followers with supporting this.

I just don’t understand why this is being promoted. If men in general were able to breastfeed children, why is this not being encouraged among married couples? Im sure plenty of men would be willing to step up and share breastfeeding with their partner.

It can’t be healthy for a baby to be fed this way, as surely the transwoman would be taking multiple type of hormones in order to remain transitioned?

Link

OP posts:
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PenelopePipPip · 21/05/2022 19:14

@Clymene why odd? Did I make a mistake? I admit I know zilch about induced lactation and obviously never did it myself.

Artichokeleaves · 21/05/2022 19:15

Ah.

Mothers, your interest in children's wellbeing is silly and irrational. Stop concerning yourself with questioning the interests and freedoms of male people even when they are questionable due to involving a child, and get a hobby. Child protection is none of your business.

Said no one trained in safeguarding ever.

Clymene · 21/05/2022 19:17

PenelopePipPip · 21/05/2022 19:14

@Clymene why odd? Did I make a mistake? I admit I know zilch about induced lactation and obviously never did it myself.

Yes you did. So you know zilch about it but every single one of your posts have been about it. Very curious.

RitaFaircloughsWig · 21/05/2022 19:18

As with many of these things it is ALL about the person in questions's wants and desires - not the baby in this case. There are some selfish entitled sick fucks in this world.

holibobs12 · 21/05/2022 19:18

Marty13 · 21/05/2022 19:11

Or you also could respect other people's bodily autonomy and leave them alone, this affects you in no way shape or form. Or do you just have no life of your own ? Dear god, find a hobby.

A TW has admitted the got off on feeding their child, Marty. You clearly have no hobbies either if you're here replying to threads you're not even interested in on a Saturday night @Marty13.

WarriorN · 21/05/2022 19:19

The lactophilia reddit has 87,000 members.

There was a programme on Channel 4 recently on it. It's a fairly mainstream thing now.

No one with healthy boundaries would allow a newborn to be fed in this way.

https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/the-queering-of-motherhood?utmcampaign=post&utmm_source=

PenelopePipPip · 21/05/2022 19:21

"A male or even female partner who is unaware of the valuable role a partner can play in holding, cuddling, burping, slinging, taking baby for walks and naps so that mum can physically recover and rest is displaying a narcissistic approach to their relationship and being a parent.
I would be concerned about the relationship as a whole."

But male partners in most relationships can and do play a valuable role in feeding since most babies are either partly or wholly bottle fed. If the parents want to exclusively breastfeed and both parents want to try to participate in this this does not by itself indicate narcissism but shared parenting. Obviously if one parent was saying the other could not or must not exclusively breastfeed that would be different - but we don't know if that has happened here.

I was recovering from leukemia when I had DD1. I absolutely know DH would have breastfed her if he had been able to. he did pretty much everything but.

I share your concern about abusive relationships and agree this is worrying - but the concern you raise doesn't arise from a bio man/TW do something that typically bio women do. It arises from a concern about certain relationship dynamics. And maybe those do arise more frequently in relationships between TW and bio-women. The only same-sex relationships involving TW I know seem very very different to that.

And @Artichokeleaves "There's always someone who'll turn up and argue," yup that's cos its called a discussion board.

RinklyRomaine · 21/05/2022 19:22

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/05/2022 19:10

Top post, @RinklyRomaine. I worry that the endgame here is to argue that breastfeeding is not a female activity and so employers and others wouldn't be guilty of sex discrimination against women if they did something that made it difficult for mothers to breastfeed, because a few males could be found who weren't disadvantaged. I have a feeling there was a case on these lines in the US already.

I wish I thought that was the only endgame, @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g. This is SO sinister I cannot understand how any mum wouldn't have a visceral reaction. Utter revulsion.

BootsAndRoots · 21/05/2022 19:22

At some point you'd think people would accept their biological limitations, but it just doesn't seem to be the case here. Not sure why the person in question couldn't have just used a bottle to feed the baby.

Lesserspottedmama · 21/05/2022 19:24

This is horrific. That baby is having untold amounts of chemicals and hormones put into its virgin gut. I honestly think this is the most disturbing post I’ve ever seen in mumsnet. I can only hope that this is fake or that there is nothing really being secreted there. That poor poor child, utterly used and abused from its first hour.

PenelopePipPip · 21/05/2022 19:26

@Clymene So you know zilch about it but every single one of your posts have been about it. Very curious.

OK so everything I know I learnt about reading stuff online today. Then I made a typo.

Sometimes a typo is just a typo.

I am really not sure what you are trying to insinuate. I'm just a very ill woman at the moment and having a recreational debate has been a good way to distract myself from pain.

RinklyRomaine · 21/05/2022 19:28

@Marty13 What about the baby in question? Are they not entitled to a safe, nourishing, healthy feeding experience or are they only a prop whose actual needs are irrelevant in conjunction with that of their 'non birthing parent'? Do you know what happens if everyone 'gets another hobby' and 'has a life of their own' when it comes to safeguarding helpless children and infants?

WarriorN · 21/05/2022 19:29

I'm sorry to hear you had cancer. That must have been an awful time.

but the concern you raise doesn't arise from a bio man/TW do something that typically bio women do.

I go back to my (and other pp) original points; a woman doesn't have the other hormones a male would, especially a male on cross sex hormones which can often include puberty blockers etc.

So yes, it does.

Tullip is a recently detransitioned male who describes just how many drugs, including testosterone blockers, he needed to gain "breasts" and even then he felt they were never more than moobs.

Not sure why you are working so hard to side step the other issues though?

There are wider comments I could make that would actually work for the tra side in this; I cba, but none of that trumps the central issues around WHY there's a need to do this.

WarriorN · 21/05/2022 19:33

I'm really sorry to read you are still poorly Penelope.

I'm not sure this is the thread to distract yourself on?

CherryRipe1 · 21/05/2022 19:34

Midlifemusings · 21/05/2022 15:22

This is the protocol being used. It has been used with mothers who have children by surrogacy or adoption and by lesbian couples where both want to breastfeed.

www.canadianbreastfeedingfoundation.org/induced/regular_protocol.shtml

Men can lactate. There are certain medication and medical conditions that cause lactation in men as an unwanted side effect. It is called galactorrhea. I used to work in an area of healthcare that used these medications and saw males lactating - although in those cases, it was a very unwanted side effect leading to discontinuing the medication.

My male partner had this as a baby. One side of his chest was producing milk. Long time ago & he's scant on details but said he had an operation to cut out the milk glands. Also my dd1 had breastmilk as a baby. I think the midwife said it was due to her getting my hormones. It went away fairly quickly.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/05/2022 19:34

Marty13 · 21/05/2022 19:11

Or you also could respect other people's bodily autonomy and leave them alone, this affects you in no way shape or form. Or do you just have no life of your own ? Dear god, find a hobby.

It affects the baby's bodily autonomy, @Marty13. Does that matter to you at all?

ItsAnOvaryAction · 21/05/2022 19:35

I am a doctor and an academic but I cannot find any literature about the nutritional content of the secretions that these individuals are giving to their babies. Newborn babies use so much of their limited energy sucking. If it becomes known that there is not adequate nutrition in male breast secretions and people persist with doing this despite knowing that the baby is not getting anything of nutritional value in return then would that not be considered child abuse?

Female breast milk (which comes from fully formed breast tissue and developed breast lobules for milk production) changes so much over the course of each feed and also in the first weeks. The first few days is rich, golden yellow colostrum followed by (in my experience) watery milk and it takes weeks to establish a steady supply which becomes more creamy. Breast milk changes over the course of one feed alone and as others pointed out, it is dyadic and the contents also change based on baby’s needs and current health. What has happened to scientific understanding in the country that male breastfeeding is being condoned and there is no evidence of what is in these galactorrhea secretions?

morescrummythanyummy · 21/05/2022 19:36

My son has an allergy that came out in my milk. Before I discovered it, my son became so uncomfortable that he refused to feed and my supply dropped massively. There I was on a restricted diet, trying to keep a food diary, looking after an older child, stressed out, with low breast milk supply. I went to the GP, who was monitoring my son's weight; she was fab, but said she would not prescribe me domperidone because it is potentially associated with heart problems. She admitted to being cautious, but said she just wanted to ensure that my son wasn't exposed to something that isn't absolutely clearly ok. I was fine with this - once she explained, I agreed with her and I struggled on, using fenugreek, dairy free flapjacks etc, you name it and eventually moved on to prescription milk when I just couldn't cope any more.

I assume the same drug is being used for this transwoman, probably in greater quantities with a cocktail of others. Not in the best interests of baby.

Rainbowshit · 21/05/2022 19:38

WTF?! Someone just posted this on Twitter in defence of the transwomen admitting to getting off on it.

www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/sex-after-baby/breastfeeding-and-sex-five-surprising-facts

The NCT say 33-50% of breastfeeding mothers say they found it erotic?!?! 🤯

I do not believe that is true.

Rainbowshit · 21/05/2022 19:39

And then go on to say that incorporating breast milk into sex is completely natural?!?! 🤯🤯🤯🤯

Rainbowshit · 21/05/2022 19:40

There's something not right at the NCT. I bet no woman wrote that.

Delphinium20 · 21/05/2022 19:40

How is this not child abuse?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/05/2022 19:41

It's been a long time since I was breastfeeding, but am I right that it is well understood that a new mother has a much better chance of establishing her milk supply if she feeds a lot and the baby gets no other milk or liquid from any other source? That's certainly how it worked for me.

I can't imagine that a father (or a mother who hasn't just given birth) could produce colostrum, which is exceptionally valuable to a newborn human baby.

ItsAnOvaryAction · 21/05/2022 19:41

It has been posted here before but this is the link to trans woman Dana Fried discussing the experience of breastfeeding:

www.thestranger.com/queer-issue-2017/2017/06/21/25225867/my-first-time-breastfeeding-my-daughter

A few choice quotes below:

“Imagine the most electric thing a partner has ever done to you, then multiply it by 10. I could feel my brain rewiring, creating pathways that would permanently connect me to my child. (And yeah, I kind of got off on it. Don't judge.)”

“I used to joke that my transition was a success when my dysphoria was replaced with the standard-issue body hate that comes with being a woman. We're constantly told that our primary value as women is decorative, that failing to be attractive is the worst crime we can commit. But bodies aren't just decorative—they're functional, and we can seek validation in that function, too.”

“I might have been my daughter's sperm donor, but breastfeeding was how I knew I was going to be a mom. It validated my womanhood as much as any surgery ever could.”

“So if our plan was an abject failure, why am I gushing about breastfeeding? Because when they pulled my daughter free of my wife's body, I was the first one to hold her. I took her back to the hospital room and did what any mom would do—I put her on my bare chest and let her find my breast. And that tiny, perfect creature latched onto me, and got what sustenance my body could provide, and was content.“

Unclear how Dana knew the baby was content. A newborn baby with a suck reflex will latch onto literally anything.

WarriorN · 21/05/2022 19:42

Excellent post Itsanovary, and let's face it, scientific evidenced rigour, like rigorous safeguarding, isn't exactly a hot topic when it comes to prioritising health implications over the 'I wants' in trans healthcare is it?