Banned from another breastfeeding support group

[veronicagoldberg]

I'm absolutely furious.

I have put so much time and effort into helping other women, giving advice, offering support on the Breastfeeding Oldet Babies FB group, only to be banned for politely asking not to be referred to as a "chest feeder".

It was one of my favourite Facebook groups. And now, I can't even access the page. I'm incandescent.

I agreed to their rules when I joined, which was that terms like "chest feeders" might be used if a transman posted (guess what - no transman ever posted in the 2 years I was a member...) However, I took exception to a post that referred to all group members thus.

I've written an opinion piece about it, and am wondering where to send it.

I had to leave all those breastfeeding groups anyway as they were grim.
“Those poor children who drink formula”.
Fed my 3 year old & currently feeding a 1 year old but I can’t stand most of the women on these groups. Doesn’t surprise me at all.

If a trans man is feeding a baby wouldn't he feed from his breasts? Why would that be an offensive term?

I’m in that group and been hanging on by a thread because lots of posts are great. But the absolute bs creeping in is getting too much.

No one has ever explained why the word breastfeeding is more triggering to a dysphoric woman than the act of breastfeeding from your female breasts. Likewise the words pregnant woman being more upsetting than going through actual pregnancy.

Someone was wanging on last week about changing the group name to breastfeeding and chest feeding but people were still told they could refer to themselves as breastfeeding as long as the chest feeders could do the same.

OP, I’d contact the critic, unherd, the Daily Mail and Glinner on his sub stack. Make waves. This horseshit has gone far enough.

@Thewheelsfalloffthebus

Men have milk ducts too. What do you think nipples are?

Not milk ducts!

I'm in that group too but I don't post in it or read anything from it often.
Were they suggesting that are women who feed their children from their breasts should be happy to be known as chestfeeders?
I don't agree with that.

I don't have an issue with people who want to call how they feed their own child chestfeeding (although why not nursing or something like that)

@Thewheelsfalloffthebus

Sorry, just to clarify. When I said men I meant people of male sex. All mammals of both sexes have milk ducts.

We know what men are, we don’t need an explanation.

@Iwonder08

Why did you decide that a breastfeeding support group is the right place for the trans argument?

Probably because the trans ideology is being FORCED upon people. We are just supposed to meekly accept it, accept changes in our language and ways of referring to ourselves that we do NOT agree with. This is a BREAST feeding group. If the tiny percent of people who get "triggered" by that term don't like it, THEY can find another group or set up their own. Why should an established group be forced to change their terminology?

If a semi quasi religious ideology is being forced on people then it is absolutely right to push back against it. THEY are the ones forcing their agenda down the throats of other people.
The days of "no debate" are over I'm afraid.

Report to who? What 'watch list?'

To facebook, then the admins are then more closely monitored re any issues or reports and the group risks being closed

OP that is awful. I don't criticise you for joining a group that had that I. The rules be sure like most people you probably thought it wouldn't come up. Honestly how you describe yourself should be upheld

At this time the papers are really interested in this stuff especially after the men in sport stuff. I would contact the Daily Mail and The Telegraph. If you have included some soundbites from yourself they can use them and it will be really easy for them to write up a quick article. They like an image to go with it. Could you send one of you and baby without heads showing. Good luck.

Also, for those who have not seen this article:
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35224545/

Could any of you still on the group post this?
I would join but I am not on FB (...could use my husband account I guess?)

@MsGoodenough

I found the first few months of breastfeeding utterly traumatic (it was actually what 'peaked' me back in 2014 - the way in which the biological experiences of womanhood couldn't be escaped). The thought that, instead of helping suicidal mothers like I was, groups like this are policing language and ostracising women, makes me really really angry.

This.

OP, I would be fuming too.

Men do have milk ducts. Usually undeveloped but can develop. Please people, biology.

Bonkers when their group seems to be called breastfeeding

@timeisnotaline

Men do have milk ducts. Usually undeveloped but can develop. Please people, biology.

Yes men can, but if they are in anyway lactating then they need medical intervention, just as I did when I was lactating prior to any pregnancy. I am still monitored 20 years on. It is doing nobody any favours with all this hand waving things away that is going on.

Oh and one of the very first things they did (after blood tests revealed elevated prolactin levels) was arrange a MRI. A growth on the pituitary gland is a common cause. This is serious medical stuff.

Utter stupidity, particularly as men get breast cancer. Noone calls it chest cancer.

Having known of one man dying of it, I was just going to post exactly the same.

I have read that the reason for using 'chestfeeding' is that trans men get gender dysphoria from the word 'breast' as for them it refers to a female body and they identify as male. This is confusing to many, given that breastfeeding is something the female body can do and calling it chestfeeding doesn't turn it into a male activity. Why doesn't engaging in that activity cause gender dysphoria in trans men?

I wrote here a while back about the same Facebook group when what seemed to be a deliberately provoking post came up - ‘shout out to all the wonderful chestfeeding mamas’ type thing. First time poster, very glamorous profile picture (ie. fake) and nothing much to say. I was sure that her post was designed to ‘out’ any GC breastfeeding mothers and get them kicked out. Indeed, sadly it did descend into an argument, in what I’ve otherwise found to be a really supportive, feminist space.

@nepeta

I have read that the reason for using 'chestfeeding' is that trans men get gender dysphoria from the word 'breast' as for them it refers to a female body and they identify as male. This is confusing to many, given that breastfeeding is something the female body can do and calling it chestfeeding doesn't turn it into a male activity. Why doesn't engaging in that activity cause gender dysphoria in trans men?

Surely being pregnant and giving birth is going to be more triggering, are they going to rename those too?

Also breastfeeding is optional. Don't bloody do it if it gives you dysphoria!

How did we get to the place that asking in the "Breastfeeding Older Babies and Beyond" group not to personally be referred to as a "chestfeeder" is starting a trans argument?

Surely you know a woman’s place is in the wrong, Whitefire?

Also, Interesting to see how quickly the lads rally to a thread with the word ‘breast’ in it.

Sorry about that OP, its disgusting. Yet another real woman silenced for refusing to spout rubbish and stand up for women

@nepeta

I have read that the reason for using 'chestfeeding' is that trans men get gender dysphoria from the word 'breast' as for them it refers to a female body and they identify as male. This is confusing to many, given that breastfeeding is something the female body can do and calling it chestfeeding doesn't turn it into a male activity. Why doesn't engaging in that activity cause gender dysphoria in trans men?

Are they petitioning tailors demanding the language of suits be changed from single and double breasted jackets, to single and double chested jackets?

no? thought not.