Banned from another breastfeeding support group

[veronicagoldberg]

I'm absolutely furious.

I have put so much time and effort into helping other women, giving advice, offering support on the Breastfeeding Oldet Babies FB group, only to be banned for politely asking not to be referred to as a "chest feeder".

It was one of my favourite Facebook groups. And now, I can't even access the page. I'm incandescent.

I agreed to their rules when I joined, which was that terms like "chest feeders" might be used if a transman posted (guess what - no transman ever posted in the 2 years I was a member...) However, I took exception to a post that referred to all group members thus.

I've written an opinion piece about it, and am wondering where to send it.

Not sure if I have missed something….

You can only feed a baby from a breast (or bottle) if the poor baby sucks at a chest they will be left hungry…. Ehmm

Where has all this madness come from? Why is being a female/woman/ what ever its PC to say offensive?

Nipple nourishers is probably more correct

I got banned from that group back in 2019 around trans stuff too.

OP I used to be on that group and left a long time ago when I saw someone objecting to something similar being basically attacked for it. I couldn't stand it, made me very angry so I left of my own volition. I understand your upset.

One of the admin is probably trans. I’d put a bet on it. They get very banhappy when someone reminds them of the real world.

@Hutchy16

I’m not sure you are giving us the full details. I can’t believe you would be banned for politely asking not to be called a chest feeder, because it is absolutely your right to be called a breast feeder. I think that it probably escalated far beyond this…

Take it you've never been in this group? The world of facebook cliques exists. I have been part of the child-free/antinatalist, vegan, and breastfeeding - they are all insane and wildly pro-trans and pro-censorship. Well, isn't everyone these days!

@SpringsSprung Report to who? What 'watch list?'

Facebook has community standards. Groups that attract a lot of reports are subject to scrutiny. It's all done by algorithms, but at a certain point humans are involved- FB/Meta staff.

I was in that group - until about two minutes ago. This whole chest feeder nonsense and some of the holier than thou responses have finished it for me. I no longer nurse (never chestfed either of my babies and they both turned out fine. Freud might say otherwise given they were definitely "older" when the stopped, but that's another discussion for another time/place!) There are plenty on one of the threads standing up and saying, "I will always refer to it as breastfeeding" and the the nauseating responses along the lines of, "of course you can use whichever language you want when refering to yourself, otherwise, please be considerate (kind, etc.) and use inclusive language when talking to others who may not share your view". It's okay to not say breastfeeding but NOT okay to not say chestfeeding now? So hypocritical but they don't see it. I'll keep all my hard-learned experience to myself then!

You could try substack, they seem pretty keen on free speech. If you don't want to set up your own account, you could submit it to someone else's, like Glinner's

grahamlinehan.substack.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=substack_profile

I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. Unfortunately, TRAs have convinced people that there are lots of "terf dogwhistles" out there, so even somebody asking a genuine question can quickly be branded a transphobe. It's quite, quite mad.

@SpringsSprung melatonin is a prescribed drug in the UK so parents who use it ere in the UK will be using it for a medical need. In the US it can be bought over the counter so plenty of parents there do use it when there is no medical need.

Woke police out again! Milk comes from breasts!

So OP can't ask not to be called a chestfeeder - this is terrible of her and ban worthy.

But transwomen CAN ask not to be called men. And this is fine.

SPOT THE MAN!

Funny how self-ID and being able to choose how you're described by others is a privilege not afforded to women.

Honestly OP, I can see why you're upset but they don't deserve your time and expertise.

I found the first few months of breastfeeding utterly traumatic (it was actually what 'peaked' me back in 2014 - the way in which the biological experiences of womanhood couldn't be escaped). The thought that, instead of helping suicidal mothers like I was, groups like this are policing language and ostracising women, makes me really really angry.

MsGoodenough. I hope you got the support and help that you needed.

@MsGoodenough

I found the first few months of breastfeeding utterly traumatic (it was actually what 'peaked' me back in 2014 - the way in which the biological experiences of womanhood couldn't be escaped). The thought that, instead of helping suicidal mothers like I was, groups like this are policing language and ostracising women, makes me really really angry.

Yes, this. Women have so little support and they're banning helpful people like OP for the whims of a movement led by men.

My brother had breast cancer 6 years ago. He was under the breast clinic, had a mastectomy and tamoxifen. At no point whatsoever was it ever referred to a chest cancer which in any case, would suggest something entirely different. A chest clinic in a hospital does not (primarily) deal with breast cancer.

It’s madness.

[quote 3WildOnes]@SpringsSprung melatonin is a prescribed drug in the UK so parents who use it ere in the UK will be using it for a medical need. In the US it can be bought over the counter so plenty of parents there do use it when there is no medical need.[/quote]
You can buy it over the Internet easily I do it for myself all the time It helps me sleep and I can function the next day unlike the Dr's prescription

I'm confused, the group is called breast feeding? How could they take issue with what you've said?
Start a new group. See if you can recruit any other like minded ones from previous group

@MsGoodenough

I found the first few months of breastfeeding utterly traumatic (it was actually what 'peaked' me back in 2014 - the way in which the biological experiences of womanhood couldn't be escaped). The thought that, instead of helping suicidal mothers like I was, groups like this are policing language and ostracising women, makes me really really angry.

What's worse is that some NHS maternity departments are doing exactly the same thing.

I really want to join now!

@Iwonder08

Why did you decide that a breastfeeding support group is the right place for the trans argument?

Every single occasion is the "right place" to stop this lunacy of trying to eradicate women and our anatomy from language, especially when it relates to childbirth and breastfeeding, an activity that only women can do.

@Ginger1982 me too!!

I wonder if the women on there know you've been banned, and the reason for it. Given that the groups has breastfeeding in its name, I don't think your ban would be seen in a positive light.

That's bloody awful, sorry op. I'm in that group too but haven't really used it yet (still breastfeeding 21 month old). Ill be rethinking my membership there