He/They

[BloodyloveGeorge]

Bloke at work, complaining that the new pronouns policy on forms etc isn’t inclusive enough (they/them and ‘other’ then write your own included with she/be etc) Because he is ‘non-conforming’ and uses he/they or him/ them and it’s very common in his ‘community’.

So I asked him how that works, as someone who is actually gay ( he’s white, straight, male appearing) I hadn’t come across he/they before. It was a genuine non-goady question.
He said he’s happy with being addressed as either and chooses which he’ll use on the day. And that if on the day he’s being ‘they’ it would be nice if people noticed and used ‘they’.

Is this a thing now? Or is he just saying call me anything but she/her???

@waterlego

How tedious for them all. The bracelet wearer sounds very controlling.

Have she considered the possibility they is taking the piss?

-- Gave we a chuckle, anyway, where them read who's description, OP ... If thou knowest when it mean!

So it can vary day to day? This is bloody ridiculous, I'm sorry.

@Whatsnewpussyhat

He can tell people if he's having a 'he' or 'they' day, they'll just be calling him an attention seeking bellend behind his back anyway.

This has fuck all to do with dysphoria and all about control.

This.^^

There is be 'whose' , of course, if 'who's'. Lousy autocorrect.

@waterlego

My older teen DC has a friend at school who is female but has given themselves a male name and likes he/they pronouns, depending on how they identify on a particular day. I asked DC how one was supposed to know which ones to use, and apparently the child wears a bracelet of a particular colour to signify the pronoun du jour. They all seem more or less willing to go along with it but I see it as more than a little self-obsessed.

What would happen if another classmate was colourblind and couldn't differentiate between the coloured bracelets, therefore potentially using the wrong pronouns on the wrong days? Would they be supported for having a recognised disability or castigated for their transgression?

It’s making me retreat from any engagement in our work LGBTQ+ network, because it now seems full of straight people who are ‘queer’ in some way while appearing to be completely heterosexual in their lives and relationships and arguing all day over the loos and pronouns.
Rather than actually dealing with issues of homophobia that we have in our workplace.

I know of a few she/they pronoun signallers at work. I understand it as people who recognise being natal females, but not as having a binary woman gender identity. And are happy to be referred to with either she/her pronouns or they/them pronouns or a mixture of them all.

I'm a natal female and am GC so don't recognise a woman gender identity. I don't give instructions on what pronouns people should use about me in my presence or not. It's not the most interesting or important thing about me. I'll try and use other people's preferred pronouns if they tell me them.

As well as being absurd, this reveals how utterly self-centred this ideology is. Do they/he not consider that perhaps other people have their own shit going on in their lives, like debts and bills and relationships and illness and god knows what else but somehow we are all meant to hold back some headspace in amongst all the daily crap of real life to check what pronouns so and so is using today? Do they value our time and emotional energy so little? (I know the answer)

This picture is painted of non-trans people as having trouble-free lives full of joy in comparison to the untold issues we are told are the norm in the trans world. Where is the sympathy the other way? Grr, sorry to rant but am out of cares to give at this point.

The singer Halsey is she/they which most people would take to mean that someone is fine with either female or plural pronouns but great offense was taken when a magazine just referred to her using female pronouns, she thinks its disrepectful if you don't use a mix which I think most people would realise renders the point of pronouns moot

www.out.com/celebs/2021/7/21/halsey-claps-back-magazine-misgendered-them

"Halsey uses she/they pronouns, and usually, when someone says they use multiple pronouns, that means they want to be referred to by both of them. With most people who do, the best practice is to mix what pronouns you use, unless the person says they only want one pronoun to be used at the time."

napody “Who’s they, the cat’s birthing person?”!
I love that!

@BloodyloveGeorge

It’s making me retreat from any engagement in our work LGBTQ+ network, because it now seems full of straight people who are ‘queer’ in some way while appearing to be completely heterosexual in their lives and relationships and arguing all day over the loos and pronouns. Rather than actually dealing with issues of homophobia that we have in our workplace.

So many straight people now calling themselves 'queer' because they think it makes them look seem less dull.

I always think they must actually have so little self confidence in who they are that they put on an act to make themselves seem quirky and different.

Kind of expect it from teens but when it's 30 year olds doing it, it just makes them look a bit sad.

It's pathetic.

How self absorbed are they/he?
I think you shouldn't give it too much headspace, as it is ridiculous to expect people who are discussing you in your absence to know about your daily feelings.

I work with a she/they.

There was a flurry of pronoun additions to email sign offs at last year when she started off as a she/her. I have no idea when the she/they change happened and I have no intention of asking.

She is female, feminine presenting and straight. However she is a rainbow badge wearer and maybe she sees this as being some kind of allyship.

I neither know nor care. Perhaps those of us who have raised young children become immune to attention seeking behaviour?

Meanwhile, in Ukraine ...

I had to listen to a conversation where people were like, “Why is anyone even bothered if someone wants to be called she/they? Just do it, man, it’s no big deal!”

Those people were time-rich, childless, economically secure, self-employed. It’s absolutely a big deal for someone to go into an ordinary workplace and disrupt things by insisting everyone checks to see what colour bracelet they’re wearing on any given day. People are busy. They might not have the mental space for it, and that needs to be okay.

@tabbycatstripy

I had to listen to a conversation where people were like, “Why is anyone even bothered if someone wants to be called she/they? Just do it, man, it’s no big deal!”

Those people were time-rich, childless, economically secure, self-employed. It’s absolutely a big deal for someone to go into an ordinary workplace and disrupt things by insisting everyone checks to see what colour bracelet they’re wearing on any given day. People are busy. They might not have the mental space for it, and that needs to be okay.

They always are. It's never someone living on the bones of their arse, with 3 kids to feed living in a mouldy run down overpriced shithole is it?

And for straight white men, it's identifying into oppression.

@miri1985

The singer Halsey is she/they which most people would take to mean that someone is fine with either female or plural pronouns but great offense was taken when a magazine just referred to her using female pronouns, she thinks its disrepectful if you don't use a mix which I think most people would realise renders the point of pronouns moot

www.out.com/celebs/2021/7/21/halsey-claps-back-magazine-misgendered-them

"Halsey uses she/they pronouns, and usually, when someone says they use multiple pronouns, that means they want to be referred to by both of them. With most people who do, the best practice is to mix what pronouns you use, unless the person says they only want one pronoun to be used at the time."

I watched a sort of short film Halsey made. She was a medievalish queen who was raped by the king, became pregnant, and then had to deal with the aftermath when the child was born a girl. Halsey spent a lot of time naked.

It doesn’t sound like a lack of understanding of sex based oppression or gender dysphoria to me, so I’m going to assume they is just a narcissist.

@waterlego

My older teen DC has a friend at school who is female but has given themselves a male name and likes he/they pronouns, depending on how they identify on a particular day. I asked DC how one was supposed to know which ones to use, and apparently the child wears a bracelet of a particular colour to signify the pronoun du jour. They all seem more or less willing to go along with it but I see it as more than a little self-obsessed.

I think even teens are getting fed up with this. It’s all tik tok fads for ‘personalities’ - that young woman who announces that she was about to transition because some of her ‘personalities’ are male.

If he wants attention, give him attention.
Schedule a morning meeting every day with thim, take a notebook and sit thim down, ask what pronouns they're feeling today, ask if he's feeling anything else you need to know about, feed back to the rest of the team...

I've noticed a few of my students have changed their email signatures from she/her to she/they. I've completely ignored it and none of them have said anything. I think it's mostly performative, designed to keep them on the right side of the woke monitors.

Prelate great idea, but I would go one better. Call the whole department to the daily meeting, earnestly ask every single one what their pronouns are today, and what special recognition each of them need.
Wait and see how long it takes for mutiny and common sense to prevail! And how soon before the no longer “special one” flounces…

Can you not point out to that person (I wrote him but wasn’t sure what day we are on) that it and them are perfectly lovely pronouns and would suit every occasion.