Male violence at the Oscars

[RoseslnTheHospital]

Is anyone else disappointed at the reaction to Will Smith's display of aggression at the Oscars? I am really surprised that they didn't have any security staff to remove him from the room when it was apparent what he had done. Everyone there just seemed paralysed into inaction. And then to see all those other men (Denzel Washington, Tyler Perry, Bradley Cooper) consoling and reassuring him, rather than escorting him out.

I'm also disappointed by the wider reaction, with so many people justifying his behaviour due to the (unfunny and vile) joke about his wife. I also think that it's a massive shame for Venus and Serena, that he has won an Oscar for a film about their lives, and yet this is the focus.

I think Rock and Smith are both reprehensible in their behaviour.
I also think that what Rock said about Jada will affect her for a lot longer than the slap Smith gave to Rock will affect him.
Still wrong to slap but Jada is the victim here, not once but twice because of 2 awful men.

@BootsAndRoots

I wonder how many of the people here would have a different opinion if someone was verbally abusive to you and your husband just stood idly by.

He took away her agency in dealing with it herself. He removed her ability to respond in a way that reflected her thoughts and her feelings, about her distressing auto-immune condition.

He made it about him. His ego. His masculinity. That's the conversation today, and any response that she makes is always going to be in the light of his actions. She's either going to have to defend him, or express her own feelings in the context of his.

It wasn't a choice between violence and idleness.

His true colours are ugly, poor Jada having to live with that, l don' t envy her one bit,what an appauling example to his children and fans.

I watched the unedited version.

The whole thing is weird. Very weird. The joke is nowhere near Comedy Central roast levels at all. In some ways, you could read it as Rock saying Jada looks great. I didn't read it as malevolent at all.

Yet Smith calmly walks up, hits Rock, walks back, sits down, and then pronounces his reason for hitting him, there's a silence, and then he pronounces his reason more aggressively again. And Rock is just astonished.

It struck me that Smith was maybe under the influence of something. His manner is just so odd -- almost like a kid trying to act like a tough guy, and getting it really wrong. And the time between him laughing and then making the decision to go on the stage is a few seconds at most. There's more time between the hit and him speaking afterwards.

There's also no warning that Smith is mad enough to throw a punch or furious enough to swear in public about it afterwards. Indeed, it's almost as though he's putting on an "aggressive" voice the second time he says "keep my wife's name out of your f*kin mouth ..."

It's only Rock's shock and the swearing that made me think it wasn't staged.

This incident just solidified what I feel already: that I am getting very sick of the "examples" that this particular slice of American culture is exporting across the globe. It's a form of imperialism, and I do not like it.

In this case, it is that a person can physically assault another if that other "insults" him, he can also swear in public in an aggressive manner afterwards, leaving other people in the vicinity uneasy, and this person should then be applauded for winning an award.

It stinks, and I've just had enough of it. How the heck are you supposed to teach kids that hitting is wrong with stuff like this hitting the headlines?

People are only shocked because it was a 'good guy' that did it.

If it had been a a woman making the joke would he have got up and slapped her in front of all those people? No, he would've restrained himself, not because he didn't want to hit her but because he knew that wouldn't be accepted.

By hitting a man he can still be viewed as a 'good guy' for defending her honour.

As someone else pointed out, Chris won't press charges as it would ruin him, not Will Smith. Some money might change hand behind the scene to keep him quiet though.

I don't think it was fake. CR isn't that good an actor.

When a man shows you who he is, believe him.
Will Smith thinks he's untouchable.

So it turns out Will Smith is just another violent self important man. I didn't know that and I don't like this new information. But now I know.

Okay Will Smith, whatever films you make, however good they are, however many Oscars you win, however charming and entertaining you are on Graham Norton, you will be nothing much more than a violent bully, to me.

It will make no difference to him, but there you go.

'It struck me that Smith was maybe under the influence of something. His manner is just so odd -- almost like a kid trying to act like a tough guy, and getting it really wrong. And the time between him laughing and then making the decision to go on the stage is a few seconds at most. There's more time between the hit and him speaking afterwards.'

I think Smith looks unwell. Substances possibly.

@Clymene

Violence is never okay. Never.

That was not about defending Jada's honour either, it was about protecting Will's ego. He was shouting 'my wife'. Not Jada but 'my wife'. She is a possession, and Rock dissed her.

Will Smith is an aggressive violent man and I'm appalled that anyone condones his behaviour.

No wonder we have such an epidemic of male violence in our society.

Yep. I watched it; just ugly dick-swinging.

It stinks, and I've just had enough of it. How the heck are you supposed to teach kids that hitting is wrong with stuff like this hitting the headlines?

Maybe Biden could dial down the fucking playground insults to avoid escalating world situation that would also help. It won't affect Americans, but he is risking people's lives with his stupid fucking blurting heroics.

The whole thing is weird. Very weird. The joke is nowhere near Comedy Central roast levels at all. In some ways, you could read it as Rock saying Jada looks great. I didn't read it as malevolent at all

@Torunette do you have alopecia?

@DomesticatedZombie

It stinks, and I've just had enough of it. How the heck are you supposed to teach kids that hitting is wrong with stuff like this hitting the headlines?

Maybe Biden could dial down the fucking playground insults to avoid escalating world situation that would also help. It won't affect Americans, but he is risking people's lives with his stupid fucking blurting heroics.

What are you on about? Biden has nothing to do with the Oscars, will smith, chris rock or the smacking that happened.

Why are you bringing Biden and his Putin comments into a chat about showbusiness idiots behaving like violent thugs?

@Torunette

I watched the unedited version.

The whole thing is weird. Very weird. The joke is nowhere near Comedy Central roast levels at all. In some ways, you could read it as Rock saying Jada looks great. I didn't read it as malevolent at all.

Yet Smith calmly walks up, hits Rock, walks back, sits down, and then pronounces his reason for hitting him, there's a silence, and then he pronounces his reason more aggressively again. And Rock is just astonished.

It struck me that Smith was maybe under the influence of something. His manner is just so odd -- almost like a kid trying to act like a tough guy, and getting it really wrong. And the time between him laughing and then making the decision to go on the stage is a few seconds at most. There's more time between the hit and him speaking afterwards.

There's also no warning that Smith is mad enough to throw a punch or furious enough to swear in public about it afterwards. Indeed, it's almost as though he's putting on an "aggressive" voice the second time he says "keep my wife's name out of your f*kin mouth ..."

It's only Rock's shock and the swearing that made me think it wasn't staged.

This incident just solidified what I feel already: that I am getting very sick of the "examples" that this particular slice of American culture is exporting across the globe. It's a form of imperialism, and I do not like it.

In this case, it is that a person can physically assault another if that other "insults" him, he can also swear in public in an aggressive manner afterwards, leaving other people in the vicinity uneasy, and this person should then be applauded for winning an award.

It stinks, and I've just had enough of it. How the heck are you supposed to teach kids that hitting is wrong with stuff like this hitting the headlines?

This really is a good summary.

The whole thing is weird. Very weird. The joke is nowhere near Comedy Central roast levels at all. In some ways, you could read it as Rock saying Jada looks great. I didn't read it as malevolent at all.

I thought the same.

Obviously a controversial opinion here but I'm rather with @IvyTwines on this one.

Two close family members have suffered form alopecia and found it totally mortifying. Imagine then getting dressed up and going to event to be publicly ridiculed about a health condition. I agree violence isn't the answer, but honestly if someone had publicly humiliated one of my family like that I'd have a struggled to limit my 'in the heat of the moment' response to a single open handed slap.

Yes it could have/ should have been handled better, but it feels more like standing up to a bully than assault IMO.

Rocks made an inappropriate joke about someone with alopecia. It's not like she actively chose that hairstyle (though I think she looks fab!). He was wrong. Apparently there had been bad blood between Smith and Rocks prior to this as Rocks had made previous jokes about Jaida. What Rocks said was apparently not pre- vetted either so you wonder why he said it.

Smith should have behaved better. I would be utterly embarrassed my my dh did similar in my 'honour'. I'm sure Jaida could've responded later herself in a more dignified way- should she had wanted to.

Apparently the Oscar's are in crisis talks about removing Smith's award.

It's male violence being condoned, excused and celebrated internationally. It's young people seeing adults lining up to say rage and violence is okay if you can find a justification, and then be given an award and a standing ovation.

@Torunette do you have alopecia?

I had it badly a few years ago, and had another less serious bout last year. I mentioned it on another thread; in my case, it's connected to acute stress.

I get a rarer form of it: all my eyelashes fall out, which has a knock-on effect for my eye health (and contact lenses), and also gives me those weird protein deposits on my lash line which look like styes but aren't and you can't get rid of, and I get big patches in my eyebrows. I lose hair on my head too, but don't get obvious bald patches.

I looked like an alien for quite a long time. You look kinda weird when you have no eyelashes and half your eyebrows are missing, particularly when you are fairly dark-haired.

I made jokes about it myself when I mentioned it to friends and colleagues because I didn't want it to be an elephant in the room and I didn't want those pity whispers. I owned it, and controlled the narrative about it, and it made me feel a lot better about what was a body shock reaction to a series of hardcore events in my life.

As I said on the other thread, I reckon the alopecia, in my case, was better outcome than what could have otherwise been an enormous psychological fracturing. I don't know if I'd have come back from that.

I watched it live and couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was awful. I felt sick that someone could do something like that and then nothing was done about it. They were both wrong in that Chris Rock shouldn't have made such a joke and Will Smith shouldn't have reacted in such a manner. However, jokes were made in the same vein throughout the ceremony (and others ) and no-one else reacted in that manner ( or have done at other ceremonies). I was initially inclined to think it was staged.

She is talking about what he does in private if he behaves like this in public.

Why would he behave differently in private? Has she seen him in private? Or is she making wild accusations for no apparent reason?

In some ways, you could read it as Rock saying Jada looks great.

In no way could you read it like that. Especially when you take tone and tenor into account.

Why would he behave differently in private? Has she seen him in private? Or is she making wild accusations for no apparent reason?

It's fair to assume that people typically display better impulse control and are more aware of how their behaviour might be perceived in front of others than they would be in the privacy of their own homes. Particularly when the 'others' are industry professionals at a high profile work event. Particularly when 'high profile' means being broadcast to a global audience.

Of course it wasn't about his wife's honour, since he was initially laughing at the joke. More like about his ego and a display of toxic masculinity.

How infantilising and humiliating for his wife, she's an adult who is capable of defending herself; I wonder what he's like in private if he's confident enough to assault people in front of cameras.

It's an awful, and shocking, display of male violence.

Will Smith is an icon. Letting everyone know that it's okay to smack somebody if you disagree with what they're saying.

Awful behaviour.

It looks staged to me.imo it was staged because fewer people watch the Oscars.

Not sure how a display of awful male violence is going to make more people watch the Oscars

What are you on about?
Biden has nothing to do with the Oscars, will smith, chris rock or the smacking that happened.

Why are you bringing Biden and his Putin comments into a chat about showbusiness idiots behaving like violent thugs?

Because I see a common thread in the narrative glorifying male violence, 'honour' and 'fighting for our family values' etc. It's a very dangerous trope. The thread is about male violence; I'm commenting more generally on how violence is being glorified in the US right now.