"Be Kind"

[VelvetChairGirl]

when you hear or read those words is anyone else instantly reminded of the film Demolition Man?

I just instantly see the scene "be well", "be fucked".
to me no matter how it is used now it instantly gets my back up and I raise my middle finger to it, London Transport have been using it in their advertising for social distancing, if anyone tell me to "be kind" I will do the opposite out of spite now.

is anyone else the same?

My automatic internal response when I hear it is, Fuck be kind’

Haha! Funny you should say that, my partner keeps reminding me I really must watch Demolition Man.... I will endeavour to do so.

But yes. "Be Kind" is such a vauge imperative. I have strong conditioned response against it now. Same as anything entitled diversity and inclusion. It's always a one way street. I love Helen Joyce's byline, 'no, you be kind.'

It's all over little girls clothing.

I have no such rebel reaction to “be kind”. In fact, I think more people currently go out of their way to be unkind out of pure spite now than in times past. The world could do with more kindness in it, not less kindness. So I don’t understand such a reaction.

And I am thinking of both sexes here. I don’t think “be kind” is a message just for women. It is for all humanity. After all, don’t we teach our children to be kind? Then what kind of example are we setting for the younger generations if we react to “be kind” with “fuck be kind” or resolving to “do the opposite” and be unkind?

@IcakethereforeIam

It's all over little girls clothing.

This.

Boys clothes: hero, future astronaut, Mr Trouble

Girls clothes: hi, I was born to enable others

Be Kind only ever goes one way. Women and girls are expected and pressured to Be Kind when all that means is do not speak or put a toe out of line otherwise you will get or threatened with rape and murder and it will be all your fault because you were told to Be Kind.

A better slogan that would benefit society would be Stop Raping and Killing.

@Rainbowlaceshelp

Haha! Funny you should say that, my partner keeps reminding me I really must watch Demolition Man.... I will endeavour to do so.

But yes. "Be Kind" is such a vauge imperative. I have strong conditioned response against it now. Same as anything entitled diversity and inclusion. It's always a one way street. I love Helen Joyce's byline, 'no, you be kind.'

oh yes do, its wonderful one of my fave hollywood films ever, and depressingly on point in many ways too.

My response to be kind is fuck off, it’s used to silence & shame women,
I won’t be silenced or shamed.

@EmpressCixi

I have no such rebel reaction to “be kind”. In fact, I think more people currently go out of their way to be unkind out of pure spite now than in times past. The world could do with more kindness in it, not less kindness. So I don’t understand such a reaction.

And I am thinking of both sexes here. I don’t think “be kind” is a message just for women. It is for all humanity. After all, don’t we teach our children to be kind? Then what kind of example are we setting for the younger generations if we react to “be kind” with “fuck be kind” or resolving to “do the opposite” and be unkind?

it used to be do unto others as they woud do onto you and that is a far better example.

treat others how you yourself want to be treated is very different to a blanket be kind. be kind = be meek, do as your told, dont ask questions, dont express your own feelings in case you upset someone else etc.

@crispsarny - that’s my response also.

I just view it as a slightly more savoury way to voice the sentiment 'don't be a dick'. I really isn't anything more profound than that for me.

I read it as “shut up” it’s what it usually is actually being said

@EmpressCixi

I have no such rebel reaction to “be kind”. In fact, I think more people currently go out of their way to be unkind out of pure spite now than in times past. The world could do with more kindness in it, not less kindness. So I don’t understand such a reaction.

And I am thinking of both sexes here. I don’t think “be kind” is a message just for women. It is for all humanity. After all, don’t we teach our children to be kind? Then what kind of example are we setting for the younger generations if we react to “be kind” with “fuck be kind” or resolving to “do the opposite” and be unkind?

Yes, you're quite right. Someone should tell Ukraine they should really be far kinder to the Russian soldiers invading their country.

Also rape victims should work harder to consider the feelings of their attackers. It's really unfair of them not to 'be kind' to the males who have obviously suffered some deep trauma to be doing such terrible things.

My reaction even as a kid is You First

As someone who was brought up to a pathetic people pleaser...I bloody hate this shit. Luckily I met dh, who taught me to stand up for myself.

I'd like to change "be kind" to "be appropriately polite"

*brought up to be

Be Kind only ever goes one way. Women and girls are expected and pressured to Be Kind when all that means is do not speak or put a toe out of line otherwise you will get or threatened with rape and murder and it will be all your fault because you were told to Be Kind.

A better slogan that would benefit society would be Stop Raping and Killing.

I agree. For a lot of women and girls it's a gas lighting phrase that smacks of put up and shut up. I was told once to be nice when fighting off a pervy would be assulter. I wasn't "nice" and won the fight. Whenever any tells me randomly to be nice or be kind I'm taken back to that moment.

Instead I teach both of my children, boy and girl to be fair and to be respectful.

Its really not applied to boys and girls equally. Its extremely gendered (as in the social construct). Like those memes of ' You may not have the prettiest face but you can have the kindest heart' . I actually heard an early years teacher take a philosophy for kids class on the topic ' Is it better to be pretty or kind' right after she told me about the great training they had been on about not reinforcing gender stereotypes
You don't see 'be kind' marketed so aggressively to boys. Or see 'you are not kind' used to punish adult men for non-compliance, in the way it has been taken up against women, as a way to try to shut us up without engaging with the arguments we present.

Its got really sexist, pernicious undertones.

@IcakethereforeIam

It's all over little girls clothing.

And we shop in both sections for our child and always have, both designs fit her and she likes dinosaurs and superheros as well as unicorns and princesses.

I have an acquaintance who splashes "Be Kind" all over her social media feeds.
She is a pretty horrible person - a bit of a bully who 'tells it like it is', makes snidey jibes to undermine other people and practices extreme one-upmanship.
She thinks Brexiteers are thick idiots who should be cast out to sea.
She thinks people who aren't Covid vaxed deserve to have NHS care withdrawn.
"Be Kind", in her case, seems to mean "Put up with my bullying shit and tolerate me at all times, no matter how repellant I am".

It just doesn’t mean it though does it? It actually means - “do and think what I want. Or else I will bash you”.

So just reply No Thanks.

@crispmidnightpeace she sounds awesome, Next used to do great dinosaur tops, in the boys section, my daughter loved them.

My daughter's (male) teacher spent a lot of parents evening saying how kind my DD is. Nursery used to give her stickers for doing extra tidying up, ie. other kids' mess.
I make sure to tell her just doesn't have to be kind and helpful all the time, just don't be unkind or mean.

My usual response to the #bekind bollocks is🤮🤮🤮