"What happened when my banker husband became a woman: inside our trans marriage"

[PandorasMailbox]

Apologies for the lack of share token.

The Times (once again) has turned off comments

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/what-happened-when-my-banker-husband-became-a-woman-inside-our-trans-marriage-q9w5bk2kk?utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=marriage&utm_medium=branded_social

Sarah looks devastated and while I feel pity - that relationship is doomed given the man's smugness, oily self-confidence and the not so subtle ways he puts her down- I also want to scream in exasperation : what did you expect? When he stood next to you in a dress at the wedding? When you held his hand through the castration operation and you virtue signalled to all and sundry? And you know what? Lots of women, many of them liberal feminist, will have no qualms taking Sarah's place, making the same arguments Sarah made.

The bit that got me in the video was at 2:28 when he said Sarah "is not a bad person". I mean... WHAT.

Quite. It's Alexandra who is the bad person.

@Clymene I agree. It also reminded me a bit of the early interviews of Charles and Diana. The "whatever love is..." comment. The power imbalance is very clear.

@mirax

Sarah looks devastated and while I feel pity - that relationship is doomed given the man's smugness, oily self-confidence and the not so subtle ways he puts her down- I also want to scream in exasperation : what did you expect? When he stood next to you in a dress at the wedding? When you held his hand through the castration operation and you virtue signalled to all and sundry? And you know what? Lots of women, many of them liberal feminist, will have no qualms taking Sarah's place, making the same arguments Sarah made.

Yes all of this is always trans widows own fault

@tinselangel
I am offering my opinion on a specific woman based on my reading, not all women who find themselves in these difficult relationships. Dont put words in my mouth. It is not a very clever or honest tactic.

I'm short on patience with this sort of argument having done it thoroughly a week ago on Twitter and in the deleted thread. See my link up thread.

My god, that poor woman.That’s really hard to watch.

Despite all the gushing about how great and solid their relationship is, I didn’t see any evidence of Leenen’s love for Sarah at all, or even any real interest in her as a person. None. Not even a tiny bit. Leenen seemed to be totally wrapped up in Leenen, and Leenen’s journey. A strikingly cold person, was my impression.

How much cognitive dissonance Sarah must be living with, to convince herself this is OK and what she really wants. I presume her top in the “trans colours” was a deliberate choice as well - signalling allegiance, like the pronoun policing she does. It put me in mind of the greengrocer with his sign in the shop window in Václav Havel’s The Power of the Powerless essay.

hac.bard.edu/amor-mundi/the-power-of-the-powerless-vaclav-havel-2011-12-23

I hope she has good people around her if/when it all comes tumbling down.