Where can I buy a bra?

[GoldenGorilla]

Need new bras but would like to be fitted properly. By a woman. In a changing area that only has women in it.

Are there any actual shops I can go to? Or do I need to buy a hundred bras online and probably return 99 of them?

That's a real shame about John Lewis and Bravissimo. As someone who's ranged from a 30GG to 30J over the years (drastic size changes due to eating disorders), they really did transform my life with decent bras that actually fit.

@VelvetChairGirl I think that is a really good idea to buy loads and return those you don’t like.

Personally I have so bad experiences with strange fitting bras (and not the finances to wait for the refunds) so I cannot join you sadly.

I will bring my camera. Personally I wouldn’t care if a transwoman (dysphoric) timidly was trying on bras in another cubicle. However, I refuse to give consent for other women. Any woman needing a single sex space in these circumstances should have one.

But I will bring a camera. Any inappropriate, leering male will be photographed and the photo added to my letter of complaint. I will also investigate the legality of putting the pictures on social media to warn other women about the store and that specific male.

I really hope that someone from the shops is reading this thread. It's so disturbing we have literally no where we can go to get a bra fitted.

Have had previously really good experiences with John Lewis and Victoria secret. But I also have dd2 who's 11 and will soon be requiring their services . I guess its a good job I kept all dd1s old ones as I guess that's gonna be the only safe option

Sorry if I'm being thick here but what are you concerned might happen? You would be in an individual cubicle so only the fitter would see you. Are you concerned the fitter might be a trans female?

Bravissimo are excellent. Didn't even measure me but did it by eye/experience. Best move I ever made. Suddenly I had a rack! The bra made the girls look amazing

[quote Doubletoilandtrouble]@VelvetChairGirl I think that is a really good idea to buy loads and return those you don’t like.

Personally I have so bad experiences with strange fitting bras (and not the finances to wait for the refunds) so I cannot join you sadly.

I will bring my camera. Personally I wouldn’t care if a transwoman (dysphoric) timidly was trying on bras in another cubicle. However, I refuse to give consent for other women. Any woman needing a single sex space in these circumstances should have one.

But I will bring a camera. Any inappropriate, leering male will be photographed and the photo added to my letter of complaint. I will also investigate the legality of putting the pictures on social media to warn other women about the store and that specific male.[/quote]
Bravissimo gave me the old we accept everyone BS and when I replied asking what they do about making sure there are no hidden cameras in the fitting rooms they ignored me.

shame because thats where I always went they were the only place I got a properly fitted bra (30FF or 28F in sports bra).

I may go speak to them next time I go to westfield and basically say whats the returns policy like because I have no intention of using a unisex changing room.

I normally go there every 1 to 2 years and spend over £100, thats overdue now because of pandemic but I still do have a black bra I've hardly warn that should be fine for 6 months or so. may wait it out to see if the tide turns.

Increased risk of hidden cameras pass amd we don't want men/males to overhear private conversations about out young dds and our own fir that matter, bodies.

@passwordnotsecure

Sorry if I'm being thick here but what are you concerned might happen? You would be in an individual cubicle so only the fitter would see you. Are you concerned the fitter might be a trans female?

Not the OP but I would be happy with any female, no matter how they identified. I wouldn't want a male.

@passwordnotsecure

I don’t want to be fitted by a male and I don’t want my DD12 to be fitted by a male.

I also don’t want any hidden cameras in the changing rooms (I have read about how to detect them and will do a quick search and hand any I find over to the police).

I don’t want any male wanking in the cubicle next to me or my DD. I have seen enough internet posts of males doing this to believe there is a risk. Anyone doing this, I will photograph (without them seeing) and report to the police, with the additional information that it was next to a 12 year old girl. I have found the police very protective of children in the past.

Finally, and suspicious, leering male will also be photographed (without them seeing) and the photo added to my letter of complaint and potentially social media after I have taken legal advice.

I would also be happy with any female regardless of how they identified. This about biological sex, nothing to do with gender identity. I think people are free to express themselves however they like and that everyone should be respected.

I can highly recommend Just Jane in Salisbury. Lovely ladies who do fitting by eye.

Oh bloody hell. I’m broadly speaking gender critical but posts like this really do take the biscuit. Do you get this paranoid about everything? There are plenty of tits on the internet for free, no one is bothered about middle aged women trying on beige bras ffs.

Do you know how intolerant you sound? (yes, I expect you probably do).

Would you say that you didn't want to chance entering a changing room because a black person or a Jewish person might be in there or waiting to serve you? No, of course you wouldn't. That's discrimination.

The chances of going for a bra fitting and finding a transwoman either working in or openly using the changing rooms are incredibly slim. And if by that very tiny chance, there is someone in there who causes you concern - (woman, transwoman, man, transman), all the doors in every dedicated lingerie shop I've ever been into (eg Bravissimo) are proper doors with locks rather than curtains, so I think you'll be safe from any "advance" they might decide to make. If you don't feel comfortable, put your clothes back on and leave.

I too have grave concerns about the erasure of women's rights by the trans-lobby - but the threat to your personal wellbeing from any individual transperson is almost zero. Don't spread hate.

There are plenty of tits on the internet for free, no one is bothered about middle aged women trying on beige bras ffs

Are you aware the m&s website was full of men reviewing the underwear. You don't think those men would take advantage of being allowed into the changing area to try the underwear on?

There seem to be some posts from "gender critical" posters who seem to not quite understand women's boundaries and need for female only spaces. What do you imagine we've been going on about for years?

M&S once did have an MTF trans bra fitter in one of their London stores. I don't want a male person doing it. I don't want a bog standard man and I don't want to be gaslighted about any other male sex person, either.

I am not bothered about men being in there, I am bothered about men going in there to put hidden cameras in the changing rooms

But it's ok if a woman puts a hidden camera in the changing rooms?

This thread is bonkers.

Which do you suppose is most likely?

How many women caught on hidden cameras wouod be considered problematic enough to say male people ahoulsnt be allowed somewhere that 10 + year olds have bras fitted?

@Ereshkigalangcleg

There seem to be some posts from "gender critical" posters who seem to not quite understand women's boundaries and need for female only spaces. What do you imagine we've been going on about for years?

You've got a female only space - it's called your own lockable cubicle.

And if by some tiny chance the fitter is trans and you don't feel comfortable, you can either fit yourself or tell them you've changed your mind about a fitting and leave.

Everybody has a right to comfortable and supportive underwear - yes, that even includes transwomen.

And women should have the right to female only changing rooms. This isn't about "gender" it's about sex. Males can be accommodated separately.

Have you never come across the concept that many women want single sex changing rooms, Beth?

And if by some tiny chance the fitter is trans and you don't feel comfortable, you can either fit yourself or tell them you've changed your mind about a fitting and leave.
I'd be perfectly happy with a trans or non binary female, it's only a male I would feel uncomfortable with. It's got nothing to do with gender.

It's interesting how posters twist the words. It's not about "trans" anything. It's about not wanting members of the opposite sex there.

but the threat to your personal wellbeing from any individual transperson is almost zero

The same applies to the male sex as a whole, because the threat posed is exactly the same. Yet we still have single sex spaces.