AIBU to wonder why the women just accept this?

[CremeEggsForBreakfast]

I am in a fashion-reated FB group. There are two men in the group who describe themselves as "men who like to wear dresses". These are their own words. The rest of the group are women.

The women bend over backwards to compliment the men who like to wear dresses, enthusing about the colour choices they wear, their accessories, and even their figures. This was fine by me - live and let live and all that - until recently when one of these men posted a photo of his bra and pants (albeit nearly folded on the bed) and how excited he was that they matched his dress. Again, the women enthused loudly, asking where he got said underwear etc.

It made me massively uncomfortable. Am I right in thinking he's getting off on this or am I just too suspicious? And why are all the other women leaping to accept him instead of asking him to keep him underwear out of shot?

The style sisterhood group photos seemed to have escalated today. Makes me very uncomfortable and it's such a shame as the group could be a genuinely helpful space.

Female socialisation. We are conditioned from childhood to prioritise and appease men.

Posted too soon.
And male socialisation results in men believing they should be the priority and that simply not prioritising them is hating them and discriminating against them.

My mum used to work on a helpline that had nothing to do with fashion. Despite this, quite often men would phone up and ask her advice on their lacy underwear etc. It was quite clear they were getting off on it. It's no surprise that these online groups now attract exactly the same type of man. I think some women understand this but others just see themselves as being openminded and are unaware that they're being used to feed a fetish.

Reminds me of those fully grown men who are into My Little Pony Repulsive

I've no interest in "bronies" at all but recently on a visit to the farms found out female members of this exclusive club are called pegasisters
Peg a sister.

Revolting much.

For OP the man in this case no longer gets off on just sharing and adulation, hes having to increase the risk to get off on it.
It also means that eventually even the nicest handmaiden cannot hide from it and the group will fold. Losing women another space, win win for the men.

@Carbiesdreamhouse

The style sisterhood group photos seemed to have escalated today. Makes me very uncomfortable and it's such a shame as the group could be a genuinely helpful space.

Ew it really has. Tempted to reply with "any shorter and we'll all see your shortcomings mate". How can the women on the group not see they're being used for a fetish?

Mute options on social media are great. You can still be part of whatever it is in general, but specific people or terms can be filtered out.

Ewwww. That’s really unsettling op. He’s not understanding how women think and act at all, who calls their dress by a name? Who bangs on about their knickers?
Went to a shoe shop and proudly told that this wall of trainers were unisex.
Also Edinburgh college now asks are you a woman, including trans women. Ewwwwwwwwww.
Agree, encouraging fetihists. Yuk.

I'm so pleased I saw this thread! I'm in this group too and I find it incredibly uncomfortable. Even more so now Poppy seem to be pandering to them so much, going down the Snag route it seems. I keep expecting to see these men in the customer model photos.

I feel like there's nothing you can do as an individual though, other than leave the group. But if I leave, nobody would even know why and it all carries on.

I mean.... Yes and no. I might be able to filter out this man's contributions but he's not filtering out mine so would still see whatever I post (not that I do post stuff) and it doesn't stop other women from unwittingly participating in his fetish.

I went back and searched through this man's posts in the group. He openly calls it his "special time". This is not a man who wants to expand the social norms for someone of his sex. He's dressing as a woman and clearly getting something from it. I highly suspect it's sexual.

And if I left? Well....Why should I? I am interested in the clothing brand and there is information shared in that group that isn't shared publicly. I want to see it. I couldn't care less about the social aspect of it but I like to see the "behind the scenes stuff". Why should I give that up because a guy wants to get it up on the back of women telling him he has nice legs?