So... it is now ok to be sexually assaulted at a works party ....

[EastYorksLass]

I am so upset and angry. Someone close to me was sexually assaulted at the works Christmas party in front of witnesses. The man also assaulted other women and did the same at the previous event. My sister went to the police - the assault is on CCTV and they have a witness and the person has admitted it.
So now the police contacted her to say the man is sorry, embarrassed and does she really want to go to court because it is 'at the very lowest end of sexual assault'. Oh, and looks like he is going back to work too.
So - now we have to feel sorry for the man who is embarrassed and it is ok to be 'groped' at a Christmas works party. What is the point of the police. Feel so so angry I might explode and just so helpless.

Yeah, the police are useless. They told me after I was raped, that seven years in prison for the man who did it was a long time and did I really want that for him? This was after they pushed me into pursuing it!!

Is this someone who was employed there, too?

Meant to say, I'm very sorry for your sister and the other women. I hope they are able to find some therapy or something that helps. The police and the legal system have failed women.

Shocking, OP. Really unbelievable.

I wonder if the officers concerned are on one of those Whatsapp groups that shares sexist, misogynistic, homophobic and racist slurs?
Incidents like this really drag their reputation down. Why should women tolerate sexual abuse because the consequences make a man (with a history of abusing women) sad?

That's absolutely foul, and yet hideously unsurprising. The police are absolutely useless about sexual assault.

The police do not care about sexual assault/rape/kidnap/manslaughter/murder. IME.

Better not think wrong thoughts if you are a woman though.

That is appaling OP, I'm sorry.

If the police force wasn't overwhelmingly male I'm fairly sure sexual assault would be treated quite differently.

Her answer should be yes she does want to go ahead & tell HR she will be seeking legal advice about letting him back to work.

@nothappytobeheretoday

Yeah, the police are useless. They told me after I was raped, that seven years in prison for the man who did it was a long time and did I really want that for him? This was after they pushed me into pursuing it!!

That is utterly disgraceful.

Hope you're doing ok now.

Tell her to ask them to put that in writing

A man's reputation and employment is more important than all of the women he's assaulted. And he isn't sorry, he's only sorry he's been reported to the police.

That's awful. A serial offender who's only sorry he got caught.
I hope she does pursue this.

I hope she pursues it, both criminal and civil - against him, the police and the employers.

Hopefully she'll pursue it

@HollowTalk

Is this someone who was employed there, too?

Yes, it was the works Christmas party......

Thanks for replies - I think I naively believed the police would support her and I persuaded her to go to them, I wish I hadn't . If he is allowed back to work she will have to leave - she is in touch with her union, thankfully they are supportive of her. x

I had this at work-I work in customer care/front of house

The lad was 16/17 at the time

We rang the police who took a week to come out and take my statement and arrest him

Two weeks later a message was left for me to say that he was sorry and they where not taking it any further,but he was to write me a letter saying how sorry he was-they didn’t want to ruin his future with a record and it ‘wasn’t that serious of an assault’

(he’d shoved his hand down my pants and licked my ear)

This was about 4 years ago and I’m still waiting for that letter-nobody chased him up-when it happened again with a bloke old enough to be my grandad,I didn’t even bother reporting it

It's a nice demonstration that all the talk of taking MVAW seriously from now on, after all the scandals, is just that. Talk. It's the arrogance we see time and time again. They really don't believe they need to change.

Other women in the workplace need to be alerted to this man's behaviour. If HR won't take it seriously this may have to be done informally, the way women have always had to.

That is so awful - your sister did the right thing but sadly like @RoseslnTheHospital this idea about a man’s reputation still persists. She should be safe at work, including of course at a work party. Horrible.

Also, I presume that he hasn’t admitted it to the police otherwise wouldn’t they consider a caution for something “at the low end”? (I might be very out of date with this). And isn’t it for the CPS rather than the police to decide?

This is what winds me up on Mumsnet when people just pop onto a thread to say 'report'. Lots of us have similar experiences and would never report anything to the police again.

Is your friend's HR now going to take action because the police investigation is over?

Jesus that is soul destroying to read. I thought things had moved on from the 80s or before when this kind of thing was "acceptable" or joked about. At the very least this arse hole should lose his job and probably more. If not your sister should think about outing the company. Ffs