Girls with short hair being labelled as trans

[Sittinginthesand]

Even though they just wanted short hair.

So now they’ve nearly all got long hair. And if they want a shorter style they have to decide if they mind being questioned about whether they are trans or people assuming they are. Going for a short hair cut is almost like a ‘coming out’. So we’ve ended up with less diversity, less freedom, and more pressure to conform to stereotypes.

@Palavah

It's ridiculous isn't it. The Queen has short hair. Do people think she's trans?

I've been called 'sir' twice this year. I have a basic barber cut with shaved back and sides, earrings, no make up, typically in unisex type clothing of jeans, boots and hoodie. I'm late 30s, average female height, so unless they have poor eyesight and think I am a 14 year old boy I don't know how I could be mistaken as male? It never happened when I had a half inch all over as a teen/young adult.

For ages you’ve had peer-group issues with “short hair is for boys” or “short hair makes you a lesbian”. And well-meaning adults occasionally trying to redirect children loowise/calling a boy with long floating blond curls a pretty girl/absently saying “what a helpful little boy you have” to the parents of the little girl with short hair who is helping smaller kids in the park.

But adults used to invariably be flustered & mortified when they made that mistake (especially calling a boy a girl, let’s face it); unlike now when you get adults leading the charge on Hair Cannot Be Personality, Practicality Or Personal Preference

@Palavah
I think they’re too busy thinking she’s a lizard, but…

More to the point, not quite that entire generation of women had/have short hair, obviously, but it was/is incredibly popular, even more so once they went grey. I’d bet ALL these people rushing now to tell [the parents of] little girls had at least one elderly female relative with short hair. Before they go making any such suggestions again they need to ask themselves if they really think that [Great-]Auntie Daisy was trans; & what leads them to whichever conclusion they draw.

@RocketPanda

I have no breasts and scarcely any hair thanks to chemo. Post menopausal so no periods. I wear track bottoms or leggings and big jumpers or baggy tshirts. Still very much a women.

🌹Absolutely

I noticed this in the early noughties. Every girl suddenly looked like Rachel from Friends. My school photos from the 80s show a mixture of hair styles and lengths. One girl had Robert Smith (Cure) hair, a fair few rocked perms (self included) of various lengths, some had crew cuts and we had one girl with a rockabilly quiff. The boys are just as hilarious, everything from mullets to a full on "flock of seagulls" hairspray extravaganza.

It took me far longer than it should to pock my 16 year old niece out in her class photo, from a sea of identikit gorgeous girls.

@mummymei

I think it is part of a bigger trend. I've been a college lecturer for almost 20 years, and one thing I have really noticed is the decline in the alternative groups for those who do not fit in. There used to be the goths, the emos etc so those who felt they didn't fit in joined one of the subcultures. There used to be a lot of subcultures with different groups hanging out in different parts of the college. I'm at a different college now but I see far fewer subcultures, much more homogeneity and much greater pressure to fit in generally. But that's just my impression.

its probably because of internet

goths etc united over music and dressed like the bands.

now kids are uniting over ideas on the internet and theres no uniform for that

If you don't have porn mermaid hair you're a dyke. Welcome to the 21st century!

I was a rockabilly with a flat top for years. I remember a girl chatting up my male friend and asking me what school I went to. She was puzzled and said “but that’s a girls school” when I told her. I just laughed and that was it. These days I know I’d be told I’m trans.

Same for my 11 year old since she got her pixie cut. She lives for sports, wears mainly sportswear and jeans. Been asked if she’s trans and frequently mistaken for a boy. We’ve talked about it and she’s even more determined to keep the pixie cut. Heaven help the next person that tries to put her in a box.

I had long hair as a child, still do but it was down to my bum in those days doesnt seem to grow as long now, and until I started growing boobs at age 10 all the adults thought I was a boy, the kids knew tho.

I put it down to walking about in trainers, spiderman tshirt and joggy bottoms and being rather a dirty child, holes in the trousers etc.

@magicstar1

I was a rockabilly with a flat top for years. I remember a girl chatting up my male friend and asking me what school I went to. She was puzzled and said “but that’s a girls school” when I told her. I just laughed and that was it. These days I know I’d be told I’m trans.

Me too! Shaved back and sides, bit left on top. Bloody chilly on the winter. Never asked if I was a lesbian.

I had very short hair throughout my teens as did all my friends. No one thought we were boys. 🙄

Yep, my dd has had short hair since being 5, her choice.
It has got shorter over the years and at 14 she rocks a crop.
Sadly, she has had trouble at school from day 1. The latest barb is he/she.

The ignorance of these boys is astounding.

@Maireas

I've seen a growing number of threads on MN about "gender disappointment", pregnant women grieving because they're having another boy. Upset because they want to play Sylvanian families, or buy sparkly wellies. The gender stereotypes seem to be worse than ever.

my seven year old son asked for (and got) a shit load of sylvanians for christmas - should I also be buying him frocks I wonder? (joke, kind of)

Didn’t that actor who played aqua man have long hair? I didn’t see anyone asking him is he was a woman.

My DD wanted/has short hair because it’s just easier to look after but this has resulted in frequent comments about her being a boy and assumptions about orientation. Completely agree that the number of tribes has diminished and we’ve entered Hand Maid’s Tale territory with gender stereotyping norms. Driven by marketing with two extremes of choosing between diamanté Lelli Kelli’s or dinosaurs and precious little in between. Influencing a whole generation of young girls for the worse.

It's bloody ridiculous but not unexpected at all.
To be fair, I've worn my hair short at various times in my teens and twenties, and it did tend to confuse/upset/annoy some people already back then (similarly, DH got flack for having long hair around the same age). Homophobic insults would be the norm back then. Wouldn't be surprised if in the modern version, genuine transphobia (on top of the obvious mysoginy of attempting to control how a girl/woman present herself) was involved in the people making these comments.

My advice to a young person having to deal with that kind of conformist crap, would be to defy all expectations. As a teen, I had short hair, but I also liked wearing earrings and painting my nails. And martial arts. And all plants and animals. And computer programming. Etc.
In other words, proudly own everything that makes them, and answer absurd assumptions about their gender with a "Of course not, why? Sounds really sexist" (although the appropriate term would really be "genderist" nowadays...)

@mummymei

I think it is part of a bigger trend. I've been a college lecturer for almost 20 years, and one thing I have really noticed is the decline in the alternative groups for those who do not fit in. There used to be the goths, the emos etc so those who felt they didn't fit in joined one of the subcultures. There used to be a lot of subcultures with different groups hanging out in different parts of the college. I'm at a different college now but I see far fewer subcultures, much more homogeneity and much greater pressure to fit in generally. But that's just my impression.

Gosh that is depressing. I always imagine that one of the positives of the internet age is people can find their tribe, but it seems not?

It’s absolutely depressing womanhood is being both squeezed and marginalised, I optimistically hope this will start to turn soon.

The hair thing I suppose is partly that almost all girls/woman seem to have had long hair for 25 years, something that wasn’t the case before the 90s.

Not the same as my DD is only 3 but she has a pixie cut and she is mistaken for a boy quite frequently when we go out (even when she's wearing e.g. pink boots with butterflies on - not that boys shouldn't be able to wear these but on balance I would assume a child wearing them is a girl to be honest). I don't think she's noticed this but she has told me that she 'looks like a boy' because of her short hair. I tried to fish to see if someone at nursery had said that to her and she said it was one of the staff members...who knows if that is true or not as she certainly says things that aren't accurate sometimes. Very sad as she is otherwise very happy with her hair.

@CandyLeBonBon

Watch the ftm agenda. My daughter was at a girls school. The 'populars' played with her mental health. She had gone there after an incident at a mixed school. She needed decent friends and support. She got a very different agenda even from some teachers! One potential school even told us her place was refused as they didn't have the ability to cope with transgender people! Should have called the police. Too shocked to complain.
Five years on I have a kind, gentle dc whatever hairstyle /gender they favour.

Sometimes on job apps I refuse gender and sexuality just because I can. Nosy buggers. My best friend is a out lesbian and she has long blonde waist length hair.
Bloody fashion, bloody socia media influencers.
@Maireas
Thank you.

Yanbu.

Happens with son. He's 5 for fucks sake. He has longish hair, which is his choice. He wants it "like Elsa". He likes glittery shit, unicorn, rainbows and pink. He enjoys wearing princess dresses (the fancy dress type). HE IS 5. He's doing what 5yo do. He is not trans. He knows he's a bit, he likes being a boy. He likes pink and traditionally girly stuff.

The current trans ideology further stereotypes and pigeonholes socially constructed ideas and reduces freedom of choice and expression. I hate it.

@CA321

Same for my 11 year old since she got her pixie cut. She lives for sports, wears mainly sportswear and jeans. Been asked if she’s trans and frequently mistaken for a boy. We’ve talked about it and she’s even more determined to keep the pixie cut. Heaven help the next person that tries to put her in a box.

Good for her - you've raised a strong girl! 👍

Very true, @BernardBlack!

@CA321

Same for my 11 year old since she got her pixie cut. She lives for sports, wears mainly sportswear and jeans. Been asked if she’s trans and frequently mistaken for a boy. We’ve talked about it and she’s even more determined to keep the pixie cut. Heaven help the next person that tries to put her in a box.

Happy to read this as DD11 wants a pixie cut and I’ve wavered for the exact reasons in this thread, especially with the transition to high school coming up.

My 9 year old dd recently asked to cut her hair very short, I hesitated worrying about these comments. She has very short hair, wear trousers and lace up brogues to school. I admire her confidence, she doesn’t seem to give a shiny shit about any comments about her being a boy.

Her totally opposite twin sister has long, floaty hair.