A woman driven out of her therapy group by a trans woman's presence

[PostingForTheFirstTime]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10249633/Rape-victim-forced-quit-therapy-sessions-feels-threatened-6ft-trans-woman.html

Sex is sex ‘no debate’.

@iamsarah they are trying to defend the indefensible. They are failing their service users. You know and we know that you are not transphobic. You are doing a very brave thing for women across the country. Sending you lots of strength

Ffs. They are not inclusive: inclusive means 9 protected characteristics, not just one, and females as well as males. They are actively exclusive and discriminatory of females in practice.

They are a women's rape crisis centre. Women are not a 'minority'. They're half the human race.

'Show us love' ..... fgs, are they twelve?

If they're unbearably stressed and distraught at the idea of being a women's rape crisis service having to actually provide women's rape crisis service then here's an idea. Why don't they shift over and specialise in their primary focus and interest: male rape crisis. And the taxpayers can employ and set up a whole new service for females, employing people who won't be traumatised by female people needing their help.

I love the way those banging on about being inclusive actually mean “let one lot in - and bugger the 51% screaming ‘nooooooooooo’ because they are just women and can suck it up”

That letter is a good example of the perils of letting religious zealots anywhere near services.

It doesn't read remotely like someone providing a serious service - it's just a load of happy-clappy waffle about their religion.

"If you share and believe in the same values as us"

Basically 'Send us some love and don't say no or assert your boundaries'

Where have abuse victims heard that before 🧐

Sending our community light, love and solidarity

A “community” that doesn’t include women who want/need single sex services due to trauma or for any other reason, clearly.

What kind of survivors’ “community” deliberately excludes those women, FFS?

Absolutely indefensible.

I’m so sorry, Sarah.

It’s a real DARVO, that statement, isn’t it. They are behaving in an actually abusive manner to Sarah and other women affected by this - but their statement is all about how they are the victims of the big, bad, meanies.

The only possible consolation I can see is that if this is how profoundly dishonest they are, their services can’t realistically be that great anyway. I wouldn’t trust anyone working within a service with this ethos: the fact they’ve been captured like this says to me they have no understanding at all of the dynamics of abuse in general, and zero integrity.

So quite how they can support survivors at all is beyond me. How can you support people to heal from abuse when your whole approach is founded on a lie?

Sorry, I do realise that won’t be any actual consolation, Sarah, as I know you need the services and you need them now - but this organisation does sound like it is fundamentally compromised.

@IamSarah

I may go a bit quiet over the next few days and weeks but please don't think this has been forgotten about. I'm absolutely working on something with a brilliant team of women.

As soon as I'm able to share the details I will, I know this is important to lots of people on the thread and people are eager to be involved.

Thanks again for all the support.

Look forward to hearing about this!

I've followed your story IamSarah and I have nothing to add except my shovel is ready for some winter allotment digging and to send my solidarity to you and every other woman fighting this fight.

Wow, hate and abuse from people "targeting" them.

That would be women making the wild assumption that a women's group was for only women and not for males sitting in to listen to their stories.

How very dare they!

They could support both women (females) and transwomen in groups which meet their specific needs. Without sacrificing the former for the latter.

They choose not to. They would rather make a nonsensical political point than treat females as worthy of the same consideration as males. Worrying in any context.

But particularly alarming when their day job is supporting females who have survived sexual assault by males.

'Targeting' being complaint, sharing of disliked fact, and attempting to get them to follow their brief in a manner compatible with law.

I'm certain they would be perfectly happy with all of that in a cause they agreed with.

So when women all stop using these women's services - support groups/clubs/societies - will transwomen still want to use them, if there are no women there?

Spade ready here too Sarah, let us know when you need us. We are here to support you. Please look after yourself, wishing you the very best of luck.

You have an army of angry women standing with you. Solidarity

@IamSarah

Unsurprisingly my rape crisis service is 'no debate' and women who have been raped asking for a single sex group is 'hate' and 'abuse'.

God I'm tired.

Do you think they are 'no debate' because to debate (or discuss..) would expose the whole house of cards and lead them to have to admit that they only really support the men in their community of 'love'?

If they were able to debate like adults, I'd like them to tell me why we need groups segregated by identity? Given how most women and men don't have a gender identity, there clearly can be no commonality of identity which would be needed to provide a meaningful segregations. So shall we just have everyone in one big support group then? Man, woman, child?

They should be ashamed of themselves. Seriously - is someone raped or sexually assaulted by a penis or a bloody lame handbag?

@CoachBeardless

So when women all stop using these women's services - support groups/clubs/societies - will transwomen still want to use them, if there are no women there?

It's been mentioned on threads that many women who attend these groups have been sent to them by Social Services, as part of a family support/child protection/victim recovery type service. Women have to attend, and complete the courses (just as they would have to complete parenting courses they are asked to attend).

Those women are the least powerful of all victims, those trying to escape from abusive relationships with men, and are the least able to stand up for themselves. There will always be such women who cannot walk away when a male enters the group.

to Sarah for speaking up for those who cannot.

@TurquoiseBaubles

Yes - Forced attendance under these circumstances is so potentially damaging. This is just so WRONG.

Ah, so its the service thats being "abused", not Sarah and the many other women in similar situations. Thats the best example of DARVO I`ve seen for a while. Sarah, I really hope your team (army) of women win through on this case because it bloody needs winning and well done you for keeping going.

Thank you.

If I'm honest this is really taking its toll on my mental health but I feel like I've got to do it for all the women who have been turned away from their rape crisis services for wanting a female only space.

The number of women who have got in touch with me to say this has happened to them and they are left with no support has been staggering.

It's enraging, unfair and shouldn't be happening.

Those numbers matter hugely Sarah. Women have said from the start, how will it be assessed and monitored how many women lose access to women's services by them being refocused to mixed sex to accomodate male interests? These are frequently the most vulnerable women, in situations of high stress, and as you are showing, even the most articulate and strong find themselves up against so much anger and pressure to just shut up and go away and give up. Most women will just quietly disappear unseen. The numbers won't be recorded. The exclusion and discrimination will not be recognised. And unlike trans serving services, women don't have a large, influential and very heavily tax payer funded political lobby at their backs with direct involvement throughout government, all public services and bloody number 10 itself.

We're talking about less than 1% of the population. It needs to be established: how many females excluded are justifiable? Why are tax payer funded women's services excluding women? Why are they incapable of access and diversity for females as well as males? And why in the name of sanity can they not provide equal care to females with their particular needs? Other than it upsets their male clients. Which is insane. This is WOMENS SERVICES ffs.

I have incidentally just seen a tweet predictably claiming that Sarah wishes to end trans services!

Bollocks.

Providing one female only option alongside the three existing provisions that TW can access does not in any way remove or detract from the great provision for trans people .

Meeting female needs, in another room, in another part of the building, in another part of the frigging city and in the hours of frigging darkness if necessary does not in any way harm trans people .

The drama is ridiculous.

Thank you @Artichokeleaves your posts keep me sane

I will support you @IamSarah and would willingly contribute to funds. What's happened to you is simply awful: feels like the final indignity and yet another continuation of the same kind of abuse that puts women into these groups in the first place.

By whatever means necessary, it must stop.

So self identification is law now? I JUST DO NOT GET IT!