Anti-pronouns letter to companies

[Sunkisses]

This is an email a friend wrote to a law firm about how seeing pronouns in their staff emails makes her feel, as a woman. Apparently it may have worked as the male lawyer stopped putting pronouns in his signature. She wants other women to adapt it. She set up a gmail account in another name as she didn't want her email to result in negative treatment from the staff, but wanted the firm to know how statements of allegiance to gender ideology makes her feel.

Dear XX

I am a client of yours but I am sending this from an anonymous email account as I do not feel safe sending this from my real account, and fear it will have repurcussions on my treatment by your staff.

I wanted you to know that two of your staff who I deal with have she/her and he/him in their email signatures. I don't know if this is a standard practice and encouraged by XX, or if this is peculiar to these two staff.

I see the statement of pronouns in email signatures as a political statement on an extremely controversial and divisive issue. It makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable, alienated, and quite fearful that I may not receive fair treatment if I disagreed with your staff on this issue. I wanted XX to know how I feel about this, and how many people are likely to feel.

The two staff are clearly female and male, and there is absolutely no reason for them to add these pronouns to their email signature apart from to make a clear political statement on their position on a very divisive issue. I do not believe your staff should be inserting their political positions into their communications with clients, especially on uniquely divisive issues. You would not expect to see staff stating their position on Brexit in their email signatures, with "Leave" or "Remain" added under their contact details. Or people stating "Christ is Lord" or "Allahu Akbar". Or "Vaccinate now" or "Lift lockdown" added.

I profoundly disagree with gender identity ideology. I see it as regressive, sexist and homophobic. I do not regard it as progressive in the slightest. I regard much of gender identity activism as extremely authoritarian and a threat to freedom of thought, belief, and expression, and a threat to the rights of women and girls. I profoundly disagree with the attempts to redefine what a woman is, and what same-sex attraction is. From conversations I have, most people agree with me but many are too fearful of saying so as this issue is so controversial and trans activists are incredibly aggressive and target people in their workplaces.

When I see your staff acting as activists with political statements in their email signatures it does not make me feel comfortable at all, and makes me feel like they would not treat me fairly if they knew that I profoundly disagreed with their political views on the importance of women's rights. It makes me feel they oppose the rights of women and girls, and it makes me feel alienated and completely excluded.

I ask that XX reconsider whether it is appropriate for staff to have political statements such as pronouns in their email signatures, and whether staff should be using their workplace as a forum for their activism.

Yours, XX

Yep, has also got me to examine my thoughts on pronouns more carefully.

Previously, i was fine to use preferred pronouns as a matter of courtesy, just so long as i am not compelled to pronounce mine.

Now, i would still use preferred pronouns in a professional setting, but i don't think i would carry this through to my personal life. I would continue to refer to people by the pronoun that matches the sex i perceive them to be.

I will not be told what to think. And if the object of the pronoun is not in play, then i will use the pronouns that matches my beliefs, that sex is binary and immutable.

I would also reserve the right to use sex based pronouns in my professional capacity if it was important for the discussion for the sex of any individual or group to be crystal clear, e.g. talking about who gets to use what changing room.

And i will resist to the end any attempt to compel announcement of pronouns. This to me is forced belief, exactly the same as asking me to put Bless you or Allahu Akbar on the end of my e mails. I am a gender atheist. And that is totally valid.

This thread has been really interesting for me to read, I’d not thought that much about it before but starting to see people in my work adding pronouns to their signatures and I couldn’t articulate why it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Have used a sentence or two from the suggested email in the comments section in our work survey that was recently sent out, so that was helpful.

I'm going to use this, and send it to both the pronoun user and the head of the company/personnel office.

It's an interesting evolution to a thread.

Especially that several people are saying they never really gave it much thought before.

If you consider, as I do, that pronouns in emails is a political statement about one's belief in gender ideology, then the normalising of certain expressions of that belief is already starting to happen. Right up to the point where people are just doing it without giving it much thought.

Which is a bit strange. Because it does mean that when people put their pronouns in their signature, they might not necessarily be endorsing a belief. In which case, the letter is quite useful

It's also a bit worrying that it seems to be women doing it a lot more than men.

Quite apart from anything else, it is well documented that sexism will often dictate that emails written by females get treated less favourably than those by males.

Someone wrote about it on Twitter I think, saying that they were in a Zoom meeting and the woman running it invited everyone to give their pronouns and all the women did, none of the men did. No one was trans so all the women said 'she, hers'. They said it just made the women look subservient & the men more powerful & did us no favours at all.

Quite apart from anything else, it is well documented that sexism will often dictate that emails written by females get treated less favourably than those by males.

That's exactly why, in the early days of my career ( well before emails ), in a male dominated industry, I was quite happy for customers/colleagues to think that I was a German male from my letter/memo sign off . That only lasted until I phoned or met them of course

@ScribblingPixie

Someone wrote about it on Twitter I think, saying that they were in a Zoom meeting and the woman running it invited everyone to give their pronouns and all the women did, none of the men did. No one was trans so all the women said 'she, hers'. They said it just made the women look subservient & the men more powerful & did us no favours at all.

Yes, I can easily see that happening. Gender ideology requires the subservience of women from start to finish. Not men tho.

I'm with @TreXX .the email is long and polemical and repetitive.

Put it this way if I were reading an upset email about a subject I agreed with (like here) I'd probably read it all, if it's about something I don't, I'd probably be inclined to skim read and mentally go 'yadda yadda'.
It doesn't make it right, but it's human nature. Short and punch is always best.

I do applaud her for doing this though.

The war on pronouns.

@MargaritaPie

The war on pronouns.

More like the war against compelled speech, don't you think? probably not

Not agreeing with a New North American post modern philosophical religious belief is likened by some to being a nazi, racist and so on. And not agreeing to go along with it is called a war. Wevs

@KimikosNightmare

But that's the issue surely. Pronouns don't actually announce a political position they are simply (linguistically speaking) how you wish to be addressed (unfortunately having become politicised)

As someone with a gender neutral name I know that it irks me when people who haven't met me assume my gender (usually incorrectly) in email chains (which are common in my line of work) by having my pronouns it avoids those awkward moments when I meet that staff member in person or having to correct them in emails. (I know others may not find this an issue but it is for me)

So should I be stopped fro having pronouns in my email signature for convenience because others believe it to be a political statement?

If I reply to an email from you I will say "Dear Clouds". I won't be using a pronoun.

I was really clear that it happens in threads of emails copied in. Eg. Alex can do that, he won't mind. Obviously if addressing me directly it doesn't happen. But I'd made that quite clear in my post. You just chose to ignore it.

@Voice0fReason

As someone with a gender neutral name I know that it irks me when people who haven't met me assume my gender (usually incorrectly) in email chains (which are common in my line of work) by having my pronouns it avoids those awkward moments when I meet that staff member in person or having to correct them in emails

If it is that important to you, then why don't you just add your title to your name?
I would much rather my sex was irrelevant in pretty much all email conversations.

I really like this template, as well as some of the suggestions in the thread so I have taken a copy of it and will adapt it for my own needs.
It does put me off any companies who have pronouns in their email signatures. For some companies, I would categorically refuse to use them as I would assume they would not respect my sex-based rights.

I did, have done for years. With the growing prevalence of having pronouns in email signatures I changed to that perhaps naively. I really hadn't considered it a political issue.

Alex can do that, he won't mind
Bit of a reach, really... in real life there would be no need to attribute imaginary thoughts and feelings to Alex, it would be fairly unprofessional to do so, actually.

A simple "we can leave that to Alex" is all that's necessary.

@GreyhoundG1rl

Alex can do that, he won't mind Bit of a reach, really... in real life there would be no need to attribute imaginary thoughts and feelings to Alex, it would be fairly unprofessional to do so, actually. A simple "we can leave that to Alex" is all that's necessary.

What has the professionalism of my colleagues and I got to do with this? I was simply attempting to explain why I had done what I had done. There is no reaching. Nor do I feel I should be condemned for what I believed to be an innocent action.

If I won't be attacked for it I'd really appreciate it if someone could explain to me how it's a political statement? (Genuinely interested and as I said I had not believed it to be as such)

If misgendering third parties was really the problem, wouldn't HR be offering handy hints?

I've asked Alex, who's fine with this.
Alex won't mind doing this
Kai's completed the project with Alex - thanks for letting us know, Kai.
Toni'll be bringing a personal laptop, but Robyn's is broken - we will need to supply one for Robyn

For the rare circs where I write about individuals of unknown sex by name, there are always easy workarounds. So give us a few pointers and leave us in peace - unless it's compliance rather than courtesy we're asked for?

I don't think your statement is unprofessional at all @cloudsandteacups - just doesn't need the pronoun to convey it.

@Bellusaurus

I don't think your statement is unprofessional at all *@cloudsandteacups* - just doesn't need the pronoun to convey it.

I agree, but I was just giving an example of my own individual personal experience (rather than a company wide issue that needs addressing) Having a gender neutral name and being assumed to be male (incorrectly) was a bit irritating. So naively (clearly) pronouns in my email signature seemed a handy way to fix this. I didn't know I was making a political statement. (I still don't really understand if I'm honest)

Brilliant email thanks for sharing OP

@TreXX

I'd say it's overstepping tbh especially the detail of how many staff do it, too personal. And it's likely to have people/companies doubling down.

Also it should be much, much shorter and concentrate on making the main points far more concisely.

The points should be:
Irrelevant personal information in the same vein as religion, politics and sexuality.

Disadvantage to female staff.

Potential alienation of customers.

Feelings should be kept out of it as they're largely irrelevant to companies and can be easily dismissed. I delete ranty emails daily in my job. I don't even bother to read them to see if I agree. Rant = delete.

"Ranty"? Really? It appears that the writer in question was correct about being discriminated against, then.

If I put "she/her" on my email signature at work does this mean I can now expect to be complained about if my office has a Gender Critical who notices?

Not from me MargaritaPie - I would reserve all my criticism for your employer for letting personal beliefs interfere with company/client relationships.

@MargaritaPie

If I put "she/her" on my email signature at work does this mean I can now expect to be complained about if my office has a Gender Critical who notices?

Why would a Gender Critical take umbrage at She/Her? Are you male?

If I put "she/her" on my email signature at work does this mean I can now expect to be complained about if my office has a Gender Critical who notices?

A gender critical what? Is it really that distasteful to say the word feminist?

@GreyhoundG1rl

Alex can do that, he won't mind Bit of a reach, really... in real life there would be no need to attribute imaginary thoughts and feelings to Alex, it would be fairly unprofessional to do so, actually. A simple "we can leave that to Alex" is all that's necessary.

Exactly I didn't ignore the "brilliant" gotcha by CloudsandTeacups because it was brilliant but because it was so contrived.