Legal rights of gender dysphoric yr 8 boy to be placed in a girls dorm

[PrawnQuaver]

Please could anyone help me understand the legal rights involved in the situation of a private school placing a gender dysphoric year 8 boy, who is currently identifying as female, into a girls dorm on school residential trip without consulting the parents of the three other girls in that dorm or asking the girls themselves?
The 10 protected characteristics of the 2010 Gender Equality Act have been quoted as cast iron justification but I don't know enough about it to provide a strong counter argument.

I've name changed for this post but am a long time mumsnetter

@PrawnQuaver

Many thanks for your replies - there's enough there to keep me busy all day making sure I get my head round it. I'm new to all of this terminology and feel like I'm wading through mud.

Could I ask you what you would say to the school as the mother of one of those girls who had to share with a boy (who wants to be a girl) in the dorm without being asked?

I feel the boy's rights have been put over and above the daughter's rights to sleep in a safe single sex space (age 12, far away from home, no parents on hand) but I know they are going to start quoting all the legal stuff and it will get heated and emotional and it will be hard to stay cool and quote their misinterpretation of the law back at them (especially if I don't manage to get to grips with it today!)

I can't actually believe this has been allowed to happen!
I'm after some good, impactful soundbites.

I cross posted, so am linking this again. Avoid wading through the mud and do read this first - it's designed to help you wade through the legalese and the muddying of waters that bodies like Mermaids and Stonewall have created amongst educators:

www.transgendertrend.com/product/boys-and-girls-and-the-equality-act-guidance-for-schools-england-wales/

How about talking about the PUBLIC SECTOR EQUALITY DUTY?

Your school seem to know nothing about the law, beyond what they have been taught by Stonewall (I see their sticky fingers all over this)

Schools have to comply with the Public Sector Equality Duty, over and above the Equality Act. This adds additional responsibilities for public bodies. It might be a useful 'soundbite' to chuck at them!

dera.ioe.ac.uk/16086/1/public_sector_equality_duty_guidance_for_schools_in_england_final.pdf

"When making a decision or taking an action a school must assess whether it may
have implications for people with particular protected characteristics."

• in this case, SEX.

Don't mess around, OP. Tell them that you and loads of other parents will start Offstead complaints. Mean it. This is not a rehearsal...

I wonder if OPs daughter was identifying as male if the teachers would have been quite so happy to put her in with three boys...

OP good luck, I'm afraid you'll need it, but you're absolutely right. Remember that "gender critical views" (ie acknowledging basic biology) are protected by law.

@Tedimhoardingrightsosaur

Unfortunately, Purgatory, the "all trans people are brave, stunning and angelic" and "this never happens" narratives have gone a long way in befuddling minds - people genuinely believe that nothing untoward will happen, and I think they genuinely believe that a trans girl won't behave like any other horny teenager in possession of a penis.

It's weird. You get people claiming that "false accusations of sexual assault" are a huge problem all the time, and that we must protect males from this.

You also get people claiming that horrible transphobic women and girls persecute and victimise males with gender dysphoria.

But suddenly, neither of these is a safety concern when someone wants to place a male in a women's space. No-one worries about how they need to protect males from "false accusations of rape" when it's someone identifying as trans and no-one worries about girls bullying the kid with gender dysphoria. They're all certain he's absolutely safe from both.

This is where we get to, isn't it, when the government are happily locking up men in women's prisons - if you're happy with a convicted rapist sharing a cell 23 hours a day with a victim of DV, what's a 12 year old boy sleeping in the same room as some girls for a night or two? I mean, they share a unisex toilet at school anyway

I predict that if you complain, it will be your DD who will be offered separate sleeping accommodation, and not the boy. Which boils my blood.
I left Guiding for fear this would happen at a residential on my watch. Their policy is also to not inform parents of a mixed sex sleeping situation, and Leaders would not be allowed to include this on the risk assessment for the event.
Please do complain OP, and keep us up to date. If you're near me, I'd be prepared to support a demo outside the school gates.

How about talking about the PUBLIC SECTOR EQUALITY DUTY?

Does this apply to private schools?

good point @Lovelyricepudding, I didn't notice that... perhaps not...

Quoting from the Sex Matters advice document, the equality Act is clear:

"The Equality Act 2010 permits schools to arrange single-sex communal accommodation, for example on school trips or for boarding schools (including linked facilities such as toilets and showers). This is for reasons of privacy. As with toilets and changing rooms, it is not appropriate to accommodate children of the opposite sex in single-sex communal accommodation (since it would then no longer be single-sex)."

I feel the boy's rights have been put over and above the daughter's rights to sleep in a safe single sex space

They have.

There is no way round this. To do this means admitting that male children's choices and feelings are prioritised and valued above the basic rights and standard safeguarding entitlements of female children. That needs to be clearly pointed out and they need to be willing to own that. Plus be aware of legal liability if a girl sues them because in this 'yes we know it's against the rules but be kind, cross your fingers and let's hope' scenario the girls are the ones who stand to lose in a major, front page of the Daily Mail kind of way.

I'm afraid at this point I would refuse to let a daughter go on any overnight trips. The consequences of something going wrong would be potentially life changing. The consequences of saying no to a male child and finding them instead alternative provision away from the male sex provision if chosen? Not life changing.

@oldwomanwhoruns

Quoting from the Sex Matters advice document, the equality Act is clear:

"The Equality Act 2010 permits schools to arrange single-sex communal accommodation, for example on school trips or for boarding schools (including linked facilities such as toilets and showers). This is for reasons of privacy. As with toilets and changing rooms, it is not appropriate to accommodate children of the opposite sex in single-sex communal accommodation (since it would then no longer be single-sex)."

That is brilliant. It sums up what the OP should say.

I totally agree, Purgatory . I also believe there was/is some nonsense being fed to trans girls that they can't get a girl pregnant because they are a female. Can you imagine how horrifying it would be to be engaging in what you think is harmless and consensual sexual activity - with a girl who has been equally brainwashed to believe that you, her partner is a girl/lesbian - to then end up a teenage father? What is being done to these children makes my head and my heart ache. What an absolute mess.

OP, you have got some really good advice here. I would urge you to speak to the other parents as well. You will not be alone in feeling the way you do.

@MrsFin

I predict that if you complain, it will be your DD who will be offered separate sleeping accommodation, and not the boy. Which boils my blood. I left Guiding for fear this would happen at a residential on my watch. Their policy is also to not inform parents of a mixed sex sleeping situation, and Leaders would not be allowed to include this on the risk assessment for the event. Please do complain OP, and keep us up to date. If you're near me, I'd be prepared to support a demo outside the school gates.

Good for you, MrsFin. I'm still in. Just had another sleepless night over whether to leave. My unit will fold if I do, we are the last one left in our district. I have volunteer's guilt.

WTF has happened to safeguarding?

What is the actual or potential discrimination, if the boy is not permitted to share the girls room?
If they are allowed to go on the trip, and provided with proper accommodation, which may mean a single room, They have not been discriminated against.

You could also ask about other boys - if there is a boy who could be gay/disabled/bullied, are the girls expected to just accept that boy in their dorm and shower block to be nice?

Are they happy to set a precedent meaning that any boy who requests access will now have access on future trips?

Are we teaching teenage girls that they can’t have spaces without males?

But really it’s just a straightforward safeguarding says no.

Might be worth looking at this thread, where we see an actual attempt to cover up a rape at school due to this sort of idiocy.

The school call the police on the girl's father for making a fuss about his daughter being raped, not the perpetrator.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4320956-Teacher-quits-school-publicly

(Doesn't seem that the boy was claiming to be trans, but was certainly using these policies to avoid being challenged on entry to girls' spaces, and then that incentivised the school to cover it up and lie about it).

@crumpet

What is the actual or potential discrimination, if the boy is not permitted to share the girls room? If they are allowed to go on the trip, and provided with proper accommodation, which may mean a single room, They have not been discriminated against.

They will claim they are a girl, and being discriminated against as a girl who is not being allowed to use girls' facilities when all other girls are allowed.

Whereas, the legal reality is they are legally a boy. And allowing this one particular boy to share the girls' facilities discriminates against all other boys (those who identify as boys ) who cannot use the girls' facilities. The school has carved out a privileged class of boy.

Do you have a diverse school OP? If so, I would speak to the Indian/Pakistani and the Middle Eastern mums. We have many friends in those communities and they take safeguarding extremely seriously. This is to the extent that they don’t even let their daughters go on an afternoon play date to a family they don’t know.

We are trusted because they know that they know that I will supervise they children, there will be no films/tv unless cleared in advance and that their girls mainly will be playing, baking, reading and do board games.

They are extremely uncomfortable with any sleepover at all unless it is at the house of a very close friend (since childhood) or a relative. They let their girls go on school trips but this sleeping arrangements would not be accepted. And their husbands would get involved too.

How dare they do this!!
You've had brilliant advice above but I just wanted to send some support. I would ask to see the risk assessment for the trip & ask about safeguarding. I wouldn't trust them in loco parentis ever again. And I would gather support from other parents.

I would also wonder why my daughter & those other two girls were chosen.

@BatmansBat

OP, you have got some really good advice here. I would urge you to speak to the other parents as well. You will not be alone in feeling the way you do.

I was thinking this too. If more than one is complaining there is less opportunity to handwave away concerns. Because what about bathrooms and showers, what are the facilities and how will that be handled.

I don’t have anything to add, other than to say I would be incandescent if this happened at a school my DD attended. I am absolutely horrified. I hope you get some answers here, OP.

This all reminds me of the Rochdale gangs - wanting to be ‘politically correct’ overriding safeguarding and harming girls as a result. It’s horrifying.

OMG necessary. That boy putting on a dress, entering the girls’ bathrooms (with the school’s blessing) and raping that poor girl. And the school then trying to cover it up.

Words fail me

What a breach of your and your daughter’s trust PrawnQuaver.

This ‘how to complain to your child’s school’ guidance from Safe Schools Alliance UK will guide you through the process of complaining. A school failure this serious really does need to be a formal complaint.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/safeschoolsallianceuk.net/2021/04/16/how-to-complain-to-your-childs-school/amp/

I agree with the others suggesting that you should get in contact with SSAUK. They can look over the letter you write and help make sure that you have the legal and safeguarding aspects explained correctly, and they can give you support through the process.