John Lewis and it’s ‘gender relaxed’ ad

[SouthernFashionista]

Curious to hear thoughts on the new ad from John Lewis. It strikes me as sinister. Why does a small child have to send out a message of LGBTQ equality? Why is he acting like a drag queen.

"Can you not kick your football about inside the house / You've broken the lamp and this is the secone time you've been warned" would be a perfectly normal thing for my SIL to say to her kids. Naughty, yes, but not spectacularly unusual.

Except according to the Ad your SIL needs to just ‘let life happen’ and not interfere.

However, do you not see the difference between kicking a football around and deliberately tipping over paint that somebody is quietly using for an art project?

A 3 year old might just be unclear about boundaries, but a 9 year old is way past the age when they would know the behaviour is wrong.

‘Let life happen’ here means ‘Put up with what men do, stay quiet’.

I am still surprised at how many adults do not recognise sexualised behaviour in children. Or who hand wave it away in some way.

“Our advert is a dramatic, fictional story showing our main character getting carried away and dancing to his favourite song,” said a John Lewis spokeswoman,

The paints are deliberately tipped onto the floor as he pauses in his 'dance' and flips them from the desk to the carpet upside down.

I can only assume that JL have discovered that shock adverts get more attention and more business. But they won't be getting mine.

“Our advert is a dramatic, fictional story showing our main character getting carried away and dancing to his favourite song,” said a John Lewis spokeswoman,

Well. We are obviously missing the point then. This behaviour is the new normal in the eyes of this spokesperson.

And we shouldn’t be so hateful to stifle that dramatic performance. Or point out that JL turns a blind eye to sexism and to sexualised behaviour in children.

JL’s message is clear.

The paints are deliberately tipped onto the floor as he pauses in his 'dance' and flips them from the desk to the carpet upside down.

I really hope lots of families with children visit John Lewis today and take this message to heart in the soft furnishing section, which in my local John Lewis is next to the toy department. Lots of craft supplies on sale.

And we shouldn’t be so hateful to stifle that dramatic performance.

I'm sure there will have been meetings this morning to brief staff on the new rules. I would guess that at this time of year the entrances will be full of both Halloween supplies and fragile gifts, which should be fun, but they must have insurance.

merrymouse

I think that JL will be welcoming people coming in to feed their kids on their display furniture from now on.

And to do craft on the coffee tables to really test them out, and if some craft stuff gets on their display stock, well, insurance right.

And if my kid wants to jump from table to table and pose… that is par for the course.

Let them kids be!!!!

Can you not kick your football about inside the house / You've broken the lamp and this is the secone time you've been warned" would be a perfectly normal thing for my SIL to say to her kids. Naughty, yes, but not spectacularly unusual.

This is in no way comparable.

A child with a football wants to be playing football. The pleasure they are getting from the playing. The lamp being broken is because they were playing football in an inappropriate area. Not because they were deliberately throwing their sister's paints on the floor.

First time I've ever made a complaint about an advert. I mentioned the depiction of aggression towards a female character and a home environment.

@Helleofabore

I am still surprised at how many adults do not recognise sexualised behaviour in children. Or who hand wave it away in some way.

Yep........

There is a lot that's weird about the ad. He's acting in a pouting, sexualised way for a good long time as he struts round the house. All kids can throw the odd pose but this a bit too sustained for comfort. Also he doesn't look happy or joyful about his spree. It's weird. Can't put my finger on it.
And yeah, upsetting your sister's paints - great job. But hey she's just so square isn't she?
My son once, at the age of 3 drew a 'treasure map on a white duvet cover with a permanent marker (idiot parents for leaving it out for him). And we do genuinely still laugh at that. But that was a moment of whimsy at the age of THREE. Not, what 8?

I'm also astounded at people thinking that deliberately breaking things in the house is normal for a child this age. And that it's normal for no adult in the house to tackle that behaviour. I'm not some door mat for my children. To clear up whatever mess they decide to make on any given day. I know these parents and their children are awful. We avoid them. Why is JL celebrating that as normal parenting?

Is any one here old enough to remember the Mini-Pops?

I was probably about the same age as the youngest kids in it, I loved it and my gran recorded it for me as we didn't have channel 4 in our area

@shallIswim

There is a lot that's weird about the ad. He's acting in a pouting, sexualised way for a good long time as he struts round the house. All kids can throw the odd pose but this a bit too sustained for comfort. Also he doesn't look happy or joyful about his spree. It's weird. Can't put my finger on it. And yeah, upsetting your sister's paints - great job. But hey she's just so square isn't she? My son once, at the age of 3 drew a 'treasure map on a white duvet cover with a permanent marker (idiot parents for leaving it out for him). And we do genuinely still laugh at that. But that was a moment of whimsy at the age of THREE. Not, what 8?

I've only watched it once, but the vibe I remember from the boy was anger and aggression more than joy. I suppose I'll have to force myself to watch it again to check.

@Helleofabore

I am still surprised at how many adults do not recognise sexualised behaviour in children. Or who hand wave it away in some way.

Me too

Just watched the ad - clearly the sister isn't allowed to 'let life happen', and instead has to put up with wilful damage to her activities.

@boogiewithasuitcase

Just watched the ad - clearly the sister isn't allowed to 'let life happen', and instead has to put up with wilful damage to her activities.

It's awful isn't it.

The tag line would more accurately be:

"Stay quiet, let it pass, pretend nothing happened".

Or "how to encourage your family to think domestic violence is normal".

And unless I happen to know the worst-behaved children in the world, chucking stuff about and is (unpleasant but) fairly normal, even at 8 or 9 - "Can you not kick your football about inside the house / You've broken the lamp and this is the secone time you've been warned" would be a perfectly normal thing for my SIL to say to her kids. Naughty, yes, but not spectacularly unusual.

That is entirely different to deliberately kicking your shoes off directly at the light fittings, deliberately trashing your sisters painting activity and deliberately painting handprints on the kitchen cupboards. Can you really not see the difference?

As for the 'sexualisation' thing. It's not overtly sexual, like there is no twerking or hip thrusting. But it's just the....adult nature of it, i can't put my finger on it. 8 year old kids should be smiling and laughing if they are doing something they really enjoy, not pouting and looking serious, where have they got that from?

It makes me think of Desmond is Amazing. Here is a child who is apparently doing the thing he loves most in the whole world. And yet, look at his Instagram feed, he is hardly ever smiling. And when he is, its not a natural carefree child smile, its still a very 'knowing' smile. It's just not what kids are, or should be, like.

@Helleofabore

I am still surprised at how many adults do not recognise sexualised behaviour in children. Or who hand wave it away in some way.

Yep. And, disturbingly, it seems to be a trend.

That advert is awful.

That behaviour is completely unacceptable. That is not “unintentional damage”. Unintentional damage is a child who has been painting and accidentally touches the wall or the sofa on their way to wash their hands. Or spills hot chocolate on a carpet. This little brat damaged the entire house on purpose. And the mum just sat there.

And I would be worried about that sexualised behaviour. If any of my children displayed that I would worry that they had watched something on YouTube that they shouldn’t (it appears that some year 6 children bring phones with certain downloads onto the bus, still fuming about DS watching a bit of squid games).

I am baffled at the people who cannot see that. But the absence of own children does explain some instances.

merrymouse and Piapiano yes, exactly. I am just not seeing how he is 'unaware of the unintentional consequences of his actions' as JL put it.

Also he doesn't look happy or joyful about his spree. It's weird. Can't put my finger on it.

Yes, I think it looks deliberate, defiant and malicious. Perhaps that is why it feels so wrong.

Well, no. And nor did my parents when my sister and I did mean or destructive things - we got a bollocking and were told to make it right We weren't encouraged to do it and we were given appropriate consequences
Your examples were destroying personal property, a doll and a diary. Not the house you lived in, entirely age appropriate btw, taking a siblings items and breaking them. Many children have stories like this and the punishment meted out. Not many have the time they broke the pictures on the wall and destroyed a banister with nail varnish and ruined a carpet etc.

If you want to argue the ad is showing poor behaviour from a child in
a positive light, fine. I've no argument there
I'm pretty sure we have all said this.

What I think is utterly bizarre is people acting as though this child (in a clearly stylised, exaggerated advert designed to show the messy unexpected stuff that happens in your home, hence the need for insurance) is somehow a symbol of: bullying, patriarchal control
of five year olds over their cowering mothers, wildly unusual
behaviour for a small child, pro-trans allegories, anti-trans allegories,sexualising of children, or anything else
Hes not five, hes more around 9 or 10.
Ok its exaggerated fine, not a great exaggeration to have in an advert, nothing like giving kids ideas eh?
It most definitely shows bullying behaviour to the sister unless you believe ww3 wouldnt happen in any other house in the country should a brother throw his sisters paint on the floor?

Dunno who brought up trans and meh, but the sexualising of children is right there staring you in the face. Every part of that strut, pout etc is sexualising of children. In literally any other child if that behaviour was noticed then some service or intervention or conversation with adults about the behaviour would happen.
Just because you dont see it doesn't mean it's not there. Enough people have told you and a link has been posted and still you insist that we are wrong.
In common parlance in current year, go educate yourself last you look any more foolish.

Might go and throw my shoe around the lighting department of JL and when questioned by security just shrug and say 'let life happen'