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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

what does it mean "live as a woman"?

999 replies

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 01/10/2021 13:23

I gather that in order for a male person who believes themselves to be feminine they have to "live as their acquired gender" for 2 years in order to get a GRC.

Is there a definition of how women live? Because I don't think I qualify.

OP posts:
ButterflyHatched · 05/10/2021 16:20

You are welcome to disregard that data and claim that all these people are deluded if you find the idea of acknowledging the reality that sex is a complicated multi-faceted combination of different factors to not be to your taste, but that attitude is likely to be considered quite rude by the people whose experiences you are disregarding. correction on above sentence

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/10/2021 16:21

And your words mean what they want them to mean. Isn't there a rule that covers that Grin

Jaysmith71 · 05/10/2021 16:23

Sex is real. It is chromosomes, gonads, gametes, bodily dimorphism etc. You can see it, measure it, prove it.

Same-sex attraction, or opposite-sex attraction, is an attraction to one or other of these dimorphic realities.

"gender identity," if it is anything, and I tend to the view that it isn't, is an imaginary concept. Intangible. Immeasurable. Unverifiable. As Mr Tweedie said when he saw the chickens planning their escape, "It's all in yer 'ead."

Jellycatspyjamas · 05/10/2021 16:24

I also think there are good reasons for there to be same-sex exemptions built into the 2010 equality act, for example.

But it’s impossible to make provision for those same sex exemptions if we a) redefine what it means to be a woman (adult human female), or b) expand that definition to include men who want to live as a woman or c) pretend that it’s possible to change biological sex.

If you agree there are good reasons for same sex exemptions you surely must agree it’s important to prevent men from accessing those spaces regardless of how they feel or present.

Datun · 05/10/2021 16:25

ButterflyHatched

Do you have any idea how many people come on here and say the exact same things that you are? There's literally no difference.

It's a little bizarre, to be honest to see the similarities, and to be able to predict what's coming. From the personal anecdotes and long posts to the reluctance to answer any questions, the irrelevant studies. And now, right on cue, DSDs.

We are talking about people who are demonstrably male who think they have a female brain, for heavens sake.

Or children who have been told that they have a gender identity based on their toy preference.

Nothing to do with DSDs.

Runningupthecurtains · 05/10/2021 16:27

You are welcome to disregard that data and claim that all these people are deluded if you find the idea of acknowledging the reality that sex is a complicated multi-faceted combination of different factors to be more to your taste, but that attitude is likely to be considered quite rude by the people whose experiences you are disregarding.
So we are back to how is sex identified other than by XY and XX which we still haven't had a non word soup answer to that doesn't rely on the bullshit stereotypes. I'm not disregarding the existence of those feelings I'm arguing that telling someone that is unhappy with their sex that it is OK because they can change it is a) scientifically wrong, b) potentially damaging to the individual and c) utterly disregards the women that become collateral damage.

Jaysmith71 · 05/10/2021 16:29

We are talking about people who are demonstrably male who think they have a female brain...

Or say this dishonestly because they seek to benefit in some way from such a reclassification.

If they do honestly believe this, they are deluded and psychotic.

NecessaryScene · 05/10/2021 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/10/2021 16:32

Grin I don't hink anyone who comes on and debates for as long a Butterfly has will have read back to see how often we have all had this conversation.

And honestly, I think Butterfly has stuck around lnger than many, has been a bit more 'respectful' than most and is only now getting to that "Fuck you TERF" attitude - you have got a tad snippier today @ButterflyHatched.

Not surprising as I am sure you have been frustrated that in so very many we we agree. So many of the things you say, yes! We all agree with you. It's just that last step... and it boils down to honesty.

Some transwomen have come to terms with it. We speak to them too. We know their struggles, to varying extents. We don't dismiss them, say they don't exist etc etc.

But we also don't agree with them once they start down the route of their actually being female, for whatever reason, scientific, religious, societal etc.

We have on line in the sand, just the one! It's the only one we need.

334bu · 05/10/2021 16:33

You are welcome to disregard that data and claim that all these people are deluded if you find the idea of acknowledging the reality that sex is a complicated multi-faceted combination of different factors to not be to your taste, but that attitude is likely to be considered quite rude by the people whose experiences you are disregarding. correction on above sentence

Sex in humans is simple. There are two of them and for almost everybody, their sex is easily discerned at birth.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/10/2021 16:34

(I didn't initially realise this when I first noticed the "anti-trans" sentiment building circa 2015-2017. I was puzzled "why now"? The moment I saw "trans women are women", I immediately understood.)

Same here. I was quite firmly in the other camp until I read TWAW and thought about what that actually meant.

Jaysmith71 · 05/10/2021 16:35

Previous descriptions of "trans" - "feeling uncomfortable with being male", "uncomfortable with having a male role", "wishing they were female", "wanting to live as female". None of those are actually delusions. They are dysphoria - a feeling of discomfort (with reality)

Yes. Absolutely.

WouldBeGood · 05/10/2021 16:42

Same @CuriousaboutSamphire.

Never an issue til then

ArabellaScott · 05/10/2021 16:45

Yes, Necessary - it's that point where people cross from

'transwomen feel they are women' (and therefore need medical help and support to deal with that dysphoria)

to

'transwomen are women' (and therefore need the world to change to accept that males can change sex)

That women can't and won't accept.

Plenty sympathy for dysphoria. Support anyone challenging stereotypes, would and do fight for people to live their lives without interference or attack.

But believing falsehoods, pretending that humans can change sex or allowing children to be sterilised due to this 'inner sense'?

No.

PurgatoryOfPotholes · 05/10/2021 16:47

We seem to be going around in circles. I'm sure I explained last week that data showed gender identity disorder wasn't linked to having a CCSD (congenital condition of sexual development).

extract

Karyotype

Initially the approach with GD was similar to that for disorder of sex development, with a karyotype being routinely requested. An audit of UK clinics from 2013 to2015(Table 1)revealed no differences from cytogenetic surveys of the UK newborn population and elsewhere.10 11Therefore, routine karyotyping of a child or adolescent with GD is not required unless any specific clinical features determine this to be necessary.

Radiological assessments

Other diagnostic procedures employed in DSD evaluations were also routine in the GD clinic until recently. Transabdominal pelvic ultrasound scans were carried out in all phenotypic females, but between 2009 and 2013 only one congenital anomaly was found. Polycystic or multicystic ovaries were commonly seen, not necessarily associated with clinical or biochemical hyperandrogenism. Pelvic ultrasonography is therefore not required.

A bone age is routinely requested in a young person who has not completed puberty as it may be helpful for height prediction. The effect on adult height of the manipulation of the adolescent growth spurt using GnRHa and the induction of a second puberty with exogenous cross-sex hormones is not yet fully elucidated.

Bone densitometry is performed at the initial assessment and then annually until more information is known. The longerterm effect of ablating sex hormone secretion is still under review, and preliminary reports from the Netherlands suggest that bone mineral content lost during treatment may not be fully recovered, although this may be dependent on the age at start of treatment. The longerterm health consequences are unclear.12 13

adc.bmj.com/content/103/7/631

Runningupthecurtains · 05/10/2021 16:50

that attitude is likely to be considered quite rude by the people whose experiences you are disregarding. correction on above sentence
Because of course as a woman the worst, most awful thing I could be is rude. If I was better at womaning I would learn to #bekind. The fact that the vast majority of women think men appropriating womanhood is rude seems to count for nothing.

NecessaryScene · 05/10/2021 16:51

The fact that the vast majority of women think men appropriating womanhood is rude seems to count for nothing.

Boys will be boys, eh?

ArabellaScott · 05/10/2021 16:52

Not surprising as I am sure you have been frustrated that in so very many we we agree. So many of the things you say, yes! We all agree with you. It's just that last step... and it boils down to honesty.

Agree, Curious. Maybe that's why sometimes the argument is frustrating for everyone. Buddhism has a concept of 'near enemies' that resonates with this idea - so close to agreement that we can't actually see the common ground!

And also agree that there are so few instances in which 'gender' even matters, for this subject. I mean, nobody cares if a male wishes to dress differently, present differently, etc. Nobody cares about sexual orientation these days.

Just a few instances where gender really DOES matter, and in those instances, it matters so bloody much. To women.

Healthcare. Prisons. Refuges. All women shortlists, all women prizes, all the places/exceptions in the EA, all of the instances where society has made adjustments to try - Jesus Christ, how far we've come and yet every step has been a grindingly slowly fought battle - to gain equity for women, who are and always will be the ones to carry the reproductive burden, the extra issues associated with female biology as well as the ones more at risk from rape & unwanted pregnancy.

These issues will never change. No amount of theory or discussion or plastic surgery will ever alter the very simple and straightforward facts of human reproduction and biology. Women will always have uneven access and require redress from a civilised society to help make life fairer for us, unless people are happy to tip back into a world where women are rendered second class citizens, a kind of subhuman, there to cater for and accommodate males.

trumpisagit · 05/10/2021 16:54

When women's health is routinely mismanaged and ignored (recent stuff in news re endometriosis is a good example), cancer and other waits are horrendously long etc, is some middle aged men's desire to be recognised as female a good use of medical professionals time?
Obviously mental health conditions should be treated.

PurgatoryOfPotholes · 05/10/2021 16:54

This here is a blog on how the gender identity debate is impacting people with DSDs/CCSDs from someone with one, and how children with medical conditions are treated with insensitivity. www.differently-normal.com/2020/06/10/example-post-3/

And this is a statement from 2000 in response to GIRES and Press for Change trying to muscle in on a support group run by volunteers, to benefit people with a specific medical condition. It's...educational.

A Position Statement Concerning GIRES (Bernard Reed) by the Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome Support Group UK (AISSG UK):

Introduction

The Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome Support Group (AISSG) is a peer information/support organisation established in the UK in 1988 (formalised in 1993) and which achieved UK charitable status in early 1999. We are completely autonomous but are affiliated to the Genetic Interest Group (GIG) and Contact a Family.

We have around 120 subscriber members (and many more contacts) in the UK (mostly adults but many families too) affected by intersex conditions such as AIS, XY gonadal dysgenesis (Swyer's syndrome) and 5 alpha reductase deficiency; with some XX female members who have Mayer Rokitansky Kuster Hauser (MRKH syndrome, Mullerian dysgenesis/aplasia, vaginal atresia etc.

We have representatives in USA, Canada, Australia, Germany, S. Africa and Spain. Our website atwww.aissg.orghas received much praise, from people with AIS who come across it after years in the wilderness (having not been told about their condition) and from medical specialists in the intersex field.

Summary

After extensive email correspondence with Bernard Reed of GIRES during mid March to early April 2000, we decided not to work with GIRES at the present time. Overall, we wish to disassociate ourselves from GIRES and to state that they do not represent us.

We have already established mutually beneficial relationships with several groups of clinicians and are working with them on AIS-related research projects and the provision of multi-disciplinary patient care. We collaborate on joint projects with other related support organisations (e.g. the UK Turner Syndrome Society, the Anorchidism Support Group) via a consortium set up by the Genetic Interest Group. Within this consortium (set up in 1999) we have recently published a leaflet for clinicians to give to parents on receipt of a 'genetic diagnosis' and have obtained a grant from the Baring Foundation to enable one of the clinical psychologists with whom we work to carry out counselling skills training for the three groups' helpline volunteers. We also work very closely on an informal basis with the UK's Adrenal Hyperplasia Network (AHN) and Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (CAH) Group.

We do not foresee that an association with GIRES would follow the same spirit as those above, so do not wish to join forces with Reed. We believe that Reed's desire to change the medical management of intersex, although reasonable in itself, is based firmly on the discourse of gender dysphoria (transsexualism/transgender, often referred to as 'trans') and moreover masks an underlying attempt to exploit physical/biological intersex so as to provide an authenticity to that scenario, an authentication that it doesn't need.

The historical perspective is as follows:

GIRES Approaches AISSG in 1999

Reed emailed us in July 1999 introducing a UK organisation called the Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES) of which he is chairperson and wanting us to enter into a working relationship with his organisation. We read the hardcopy information that he sent and were put off by several things, but mainly by the fact that:

a) GIRES's heritage seemed to be as a trans, rather than an intersex organisation.

a) Reed seemed to be making a case for trans to be considered as a biological intersex condition. We felt we did not have enough scientific information to know whether this was valid.

While generally agreeing with GIRES's wish to change the medical management of intersex (including childhood 'corrective' surgery), we weren't sure about their claims that transsexualism was "an intersex disorder of the brain" and that the term 'transsexualism' should be abolished and it should be considered as an intersex condition. They also seemed keen on lobbying government to allow birth certificate changes for post-operative transsexuals (not an area of great concern to us, although some of our members would like to have a category of 'I' for 'sex' on official forms/documents in general). It all seemed rather political and we as a group are wary of taking political stances. We did not communicate with Reed further, other than to thank him for his information.

Approached Again March 2000

In March 2000, the person who runs our helpline received a phone call from Reed and, having forgotten about our reservations about GIRES, agreed that he could attend an AISSG group meeting a week or so later.

We emailed him to ask why he wanted to attend and it seemed from his response that he wanted a) to see what happens at our meetings, b) to do a presentation, with slides, on GIRES, and c) to discuss possible joint ventures. We explained that our agenda was already fixed (and full), that our support meetings were not the forum for all this anyway, and asked him not to attend (but suggested we might meet on another occasion). At that time he also urged us somewhat insistently to collaborate with him a) to influence what was to be covered in a TV documentary that the BBC wanted to make for the Horizon series, and b) to form a joint policy, along with the UK's Adrenal Hyperplasia Network (AHN), on what we would all present at a British Association of Paediatric Urology meeting in Sept 2000, to which all three organisations had been separately invited by the association (we accepted our 'invitation to speak' in October 1999). He was also excitedly recommending organisations like the Intersex Society of N. America (ISNA) to us, as if wanting to act as a catalyst between us, and possibly not realizing we'd already been in touch for some years.

The Dialogue Starts

We started asking questions about GIRES's policies and aims, about the nature of its membership and its credentials as a mouthpiece for intersex people. There followed a number of emails from Reed giving information about GIRES and asking for our comments on some GIRES guidelines for the medical management of intersex and on a draft synopsis of the issues that GIRES thought the BBC programme should cover.

Throughout his emails, and in his guidelines/synopsis, Reed would employ the phrase "gender identity and intersex conditions" as a means, it seemed to us, of slipping gender dysphoria into the picture without explicitly saying so. While many of the points in GIRES's management guidelines made sense at first sight in terms of intersex, we were wary of this "Trojan horse" approach to including trans within these recommendations because whatever aetiological considerations might link these, in terms of medical treatment there is a world of difference between purely gender issues and the issues faced by intersex children. We did not comment on the content of the guidelines/synopsis.

We noted several other things during the exchange:

a) Reed wrote that "We don't ask our members what conditions they have" and "I am confident that the majority of our members have no condition at all and nor does any member of their families. I estimate that only 7% of the charity's income is derived from those with a condition or the parents of such persons." It seemed strange for someone representing an organisation so underweight on the intersex side of things to be throwing so much weight around in that sphere.

b) names of well-known researchers and clinical experts seemed to appear 'overnight' against the various topics on further drafts of his 'BBC synopsis'. At least one of them (a consultant gynaecologist in the team at the UCL/Middlesex Hospital, London, who are our main collaborators on research/clinical aspects of AIS) had no idea she was itemised in this way and was quite annoyed; so we surmised that others possibly hadn't been consulted either.

The BBC Approaches Us

Meanwhile, Heike Rebholz at the BBC had already contacted us by email wanting to talk about how we might take part in the Horizon programme. Our understanding was that the idea for the programme came out of recent publicity about the "John/Joan" (or "Money vs Diamond") case, so it was to cover the issue of childhood genital surgeries.

An intermediary (an AISSG member with media experience) reported back that Heike was looking at the issue of 'corrective' surgery in Britain. And that she wanted to know whether the group had any members with 'partial' form of AIS (PAIS) who'd had surgery for a large clitoris/micropenis and now wished they hadn't, or someone who felt the surgery took too much away and left them with loss of sensation. And whether there was a spokesperson from the group who could say what the group's feeling was regarding surgery for so-called ambiguous genitalia - whether it should be left until puberty etc.

Our Response to BBC

We reported back to Heike, via our intermediary, that we didn't know how many of the 30 or so Partial AIS (PAIS) women/children on our list had undergone clitoral reduction surgery, but we knew of some adult PAIS women who definitely had not, and who are quite happy with that state of affairs. We had no contacts who had complained to us about this type of surgery. We had one recent overseas parent contact whose newborn was more or less given surgery without the parents having much say in the matter. The mother had subsequently discovered our group, read "negative things" about such surgery in our newsletter (ALIAS), and become very depressed and angry. We explained to Heike that the overwhelming majority of our contacts (several 100) had Complete AIS (CAIS) for whom clitoral size/surgery is a non-issue anyway.

We told Heike that on ethical, social, philosophical grounds we were against any surgery without fully-informed consent (which meant no cosmetic surgery of this nature on infants/children) and that society should overcome its fear of non-standard genitals rather than forcing infants/children to conform to some 'standard' that is patently contrary to that which Nature actuallyprovides, and that we also saw such surgery as yet another tactic (in tandem with secrecy regarding diagnostic information) in trying to cover up the very existence of intersex.

But we had to tell her that we didn't have the direct experience or voice from our members to qualify us to participate; and that we were more concerned with issues of truth disclosure, lack of emotional support, childhood gonadectomy without informed consent, osteoporosis, poor treatments for vaginal hypoplasia, lack of availabilty of carrier testing etc., issues that would presumably dilute the programme away from the topic of 'corrective' genital surgery.

We Decline GIRES's Call to Collaborate

We also sent the above information to Reed and added that we were uncomfortable with GIRES's blurring of biological intersex with gender dysphoria. We were unhappy about the possibility of a programme that set out to consider the specific question of childhood surgery being turned into one which addressed the wider issues of "gender identity" as represented, partly at least, by gender dysphoria (i.e. a group of people who were never likely to have had genital surgery forced on them in infancy/childhood). We felt that in the same way that we didn't have enough direct experience of the question of childhood surgery, we also didn't have knowledge of any scientific evidence that transgender/transsexualism was a physical/biological intersex condition. We felt that the potential inclusion of trans issues in the BBC documentary carried a risk of confusing the general public even more, the question of childhood surgery being complex enough on its own. We told Reed that we were unable to co-operate with him further on these issues.

The BBC not Swayed by GIRES

We expressed our concerns to the BBC about GIRES muscling in on the planning of the programme in a rather assertive manner. Heike replied, saying she was concerned about this too, and informing us that her agenda was still very much open and that she still wanted to talk with us.

AISSG Withdraws

However, by that time we were so exhausted by the whole thing that we backed off completely. The day-to-day operations of our group are run by only three people, all of whom have busy full-time occupations and who thus have to devote most of their spare time to support group work. In the end we just got fed up with being constantly pressurized by Reed, and found dealing with GIRES an unnecessary distraction when we had many other tasks to address at same time. We decided we were content with the progress our group was making, we were quite capable of speaking up for ourselves, and were building good relationships with clinicians and with other patient support groups, and thereby significantly influencing research and patient care in a more collaborative and less radical manner.

PFC Approaches Us

On 9 May 2000 we received an email from Andrea Brown of "....Press for Change in the United Kingdom which set up the organisation known as the Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES) approximately two years ago..." asking for our opinion of Reed's activities; and this is what has prompted this statement. We'd like to thank those members of PFC who have showed concern over this matter and given us an opportunity to make our position clear.

Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome Support Group (AISSG) UK
www.aissg.org

A number of other patient support groups issued similar statements around this time.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/10/2021 16:59

Given that I am going to have my post deleted for quoting a now deleted post I would like to repeat:

Same here. I was quite firmly in the other camp until I read TWAW and thought about what that actually meant.

And someone is showing their true colours as nothing Necessary said was deletion worthy!

Or are our feelings so much lesser than?

That was badly done, MNHQ! Badly done!

ButterflyHatched · 05/10/2021 17:05

@CuriousaboutSamphire - I'd like to point out that I was asked what I thought womanhood meant, so I gave a description; then I was asked what I thought causes gender dysphoria, and so I linked a study detailing attempts to establish causes. @Helen8220 pointed out patterns in responses to that.

I was asked to define transphobia, so I did, using a commonly accepted definition taken from wikipedia. I did check with MNHQ whether this was an acceptable term to discuss the definition of a couple of weeks ago, and was given assent.

I referenced homosexuality in comparison to gender identity - both are subjective, internal experiences expressed by humans. I expressed incredulity over the idea that we can accept one as real but not the other.

I'm not sure if responding to individual points qualifies as snippy? Wink

334bu · 05/10/2021 17:11

Nothing subjective about your sexuality. Physical reactions all round. Straight men get erections when they see a female body they fancy. Gay men have the same reaction when they see a male body they fancy

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/10/2021 17:13

I am not going to go back through all of that again - it boils down to

  • you prevaricated
  • the studies you referenced didn't often back up your assertions
  • we disgree on the commonality between same sex attraction and gender ideology
  • I refuted your assertion that we don't accept the reality of gender dysphoria. And framed that refution within the bounds of real life!
  • you did respond more tersely at one point. Forgive me but as this is not a thread started by you I can't easily find it. But you came as close as I have seen you to being annoyed and shouting TERF!

And yes, doing as I often do, responding point by point can be seen as snippy, overbearing, bullying, or any other negative connotation a poster chooses. It's a MN thing!

PurgatoryOfPotholes · 05/10/2021 17:14

I referenced homosexuality in comparison to gender identity - both are subjective, internal experiences expressed by humans. I expressed incredulity over the idea that we can accept one as real but not the other.

Not under normal circumstances. Firstly, there have been decades of research into sexual responses, and we really can tell whether someone is opposite-sex attracted, same-sex attracted or both, by means of attaching them to scientific instruments and recording their response to stimuli.

This is something you can also do at home, although with less precision. For example, if you take a healthy, consenting male partner who does not have any degree of erectile dysfunction or body modification to interfere, you will be able to observe external signals that indicate his interest in either men or women.