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Original poster

Safeguarding Everyone Training

76 replies

ThomasPenman · 27/09/2021 15:09

Here is an excerpt from recent Safeguarding Everyone training that I am completing online for work:

Monique is five and is experiencing gender dysphoria. Monique was assigned female at birth but he sees himself as a boy and gets upset if anyone calls him a girl or uses she/her pronouns. Monique dresses in clothes that are traditionally seen as 'boys' clothes' and loves to play in the construction area. Some children are starting to tease him and ask why he won't be a girl. Monique's parents are not accepting of his identity and have asked early hears practitioners to support and encourage Monique to play with toys that are traditionally seen as 'girl' toys. How do you respond to this?

Here are our suggestions of what you can do to support Monique:

  • Educate all the children about gender and trans identities in an age-appropriate manner, and educate them about what transphobia looks like and why it is not acceptable.
  • Educate all staff about trans identities and how to tackle transphobia.
  • Respect Monique's choices and let him play with toys and activities he is happy with.
  • Arrange to speak with Monique's parents and SENCo to discuss Monique's support needs and explain that Monique has a right to be who he is.

If it's relevant I work in England and not in an education setting.

OP posts:
Dragonpox · 27/09/2021 15:11

You could just stop at "Monique is five"

Jaysmith71 · 27/09/2021 15:13

....And when Monique identifies as a velociraptor next week?

StrawberrySquirrelThief · 27/09/2021 15:16

Flipping heck - what happened to just letting kids play with whatever toys they choose. How do they know Monique has gender dysphoria and doesn’t maybe just wants to be like her friend Tom or her Dad?? Have all the rational adults left the building?

VeeringTowardsMuff1ns · 27/09/2021 15:39

If say it’s a scenario that is clearly completely made up and that whoever wrote it had obviously not been anywhere near a class of real five year olds for a long time! Then I would say that there’s no such thing as boys’ toys and girls’ toys and that Monique can play with whatever they like along with the other children in the class.

Helleofabore · 27/09/2021 15:50

So ....

  • teach the child that their parents are transphobic and hate them
  • let the child continue to play with whatever they want which is what should have been happening in the first instance
  • lecture parents on what is best for their child without having full details or background and discuss removing their decision making powers while their five year old is at that facility.

mmm.... and it is all about the best for the child.... and not simply supporting the ideology at all. Is that right?

GreyhoundG1rl · 27/09/2021 15:56

None of that nonsense is safeguarding anybody.
Transphobia, my arse.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 27/09/2021 15:57

Bloody hell! Who is the provider of that training??

Unsure1983 · 27/09/2021 15:59

Wtf. Please provide training provider name.

How about... teach children that there is no such thing as boys toys and construction is not inherently male... Hmm

VampireBarbie · 27/09/2021 16:02

JFC.

The safeguarding issues of concern are not what they think they are, are they?

And what's the relevance of the SENCo? There's nowt there suggesting Monique has SENs.

I would complain. This is very poor quality training.

DorotheaFrazil · 27/09/2021 16:04

@Jaysmith71

....And when Monique identifies as a velociraptor next week?
Indeed Grin
TheMarzipanDildo · 27/09/2021 16:05

What the fuck has Monique playing in the construction area got to do with anything?It’s such sexist shite. You couldn’t possibly be both a girl and like playing with toy tractors Shock

A few years ago I thought everyone knew how regressive that nonsense is. I know better now.

TinyTear · 27/09/2021 16:16
  • tell the other kids to stop bullying
  • tell Monique she can play with whatever she wants but she is a girl and girls can do anything boys can
Original poster
ThomasPenman · 27/09/2021 17:14

I don't know the training provider name. It's our elearning provider.

I was just so totally shocked that this child, this FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD (in this hypothetical situation admittedly) has been socially transitioned by her education providers. Look at the use of pronouns. Without parental consent. With no mention of health professionals being involved. And these people are the ones held up as a shining example of good safeguarding!

And the dismissal of the parents'. It says they are not accepting of Monique's identity and yet they let her wear the 'boys' clothes that she wants to wear. I'm not sure why they would then insist that she play with 'girl' toys but then it is all made up.

I have complained.

OP posts:
Antinerak · 27/09/2021 17:28

I don't think Monique's parents should be forced to support them as a boy, but maybe should be told what M said and explain that it's unlikely to be early signs of M being trans, but rather to be a phase that can be supported. Wearing 'boys' clothes won't do harm, but using he/him and going along with the idea entirely could. If Monique's carers think there is something behind this, and it's not a phase, they should intervene with medical professionals.

I do think educating children about changing gender identities at an age-appropriate level is a good idea, and staff should already be educated and trained in the area. Monique should be allowed to play with all toys and wear all clothes even without this situation so allowing them to play with 'boys' toys just enforces gender boundaries which won't help the situation

LigandBrigand · 27/09/2021 17:38

WTF? First part would be to remind all school based people in Monique’s life about the gov guidelines forbidding the perpetuation of gender stereotypes and suggesting that children have to transition to fir]t with stereotypes etc etc.

This is some ideological nightmare we are living through 😢

MonsignorMirth · 27/09/2021 17:52

What on earth are "boys' clothes" for a 5yo? A polo shirt and trousers at school? Joggers and a tshirt at home?

That's me convinced they can't possibly be a girl... Hmm

Gncq · 27/09/2021 18:10

17:28Antinerak
I do think educating children about changing gender identities at an age-appropriate level is a good idea

Unfortunately there's no way to do this because it's all Gobbledigook.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 27/09/2021 18:15

-assume the parents are pushing their religious beliefs onto their child because a 5 year old shouldn't even know what fucking gender identity is!

WallaceinAnderland · 27/09/2021 18:16

Whoever wrote the scenario is sexist and needs more education in safeguarding girls from misogyny. Girls toys my arse.

EdgeOfACoin · 27/09/2021 18:17

I do think educating children about changing gender identities at an age-appropriate level is a good idea

How would you do that? How would you explain the concept of 'gender identity' to a 5-year-old without the use of stereotypes?

I don't understand the concept of a gender identity myself, and I certainly don't see how it could be explained to a young child without reference to clothes and toys.

Babdoc · 27/09/2021 18:20

So there will be no future female engineers or female tractor drivers? They will all have been forced to conform to dated sexist stereotypes as kids, or shoved onto a trans pathway if they object?
Thank God I had my DDs 30 years ago, when feminists had actually achieved mainstream acceptance that girls could like “boys” activities and clothes, while still being female.

Jaysmith71 · 27/09/2021 18:22

Maybe if we bought Monique a pink toy truck with 'Debbie Stobart' written on the side?

thirdfiddle · 27/09/2021 18:38

Well no wonder poor Monique thinks she's a boy seeing as she's being brought up by relics from the 1850s trying to force her into stereotype moulds. She's way too young to start worrying about gender dysphoria yet. At that age half of them think being a girl IS just about having long hair etc.

I would explain to the parents that we don't consider any toys in our school to be boys' toys or girls' toys and everyone is encouraged to have a turn with everything.

Mention to parents that Monique thinks she would be more comfortable in trousers for school and point them to the PTA second hand sale if they want - but can't force that. Could one mention cheerfully that when you're a grown up you can choose your own clothes and haircuts? I'd be wary of undermining. Definitely make sure we show role models of gender nonconforming women in cool jobs but hopefully any school will be doing that anyway.

Offer lots of opportunities for dressing up in class so Monique can enjoy role playing as whatever she likes.

Explain to Monique that she is a girl but that doesn't stop her playing with whatever she likes or whoever she likes.

Talk to all the kids about sexism and keep an eye out that kids aren't excluding her from games she wants to play.

Original poster
ThomasPenman · 28/09/2021 09:22

I had a response to my complaint!
'All valid points'. Apparently our top boss is 'mystified' as to the rationale behind the answer section. He is seeking further clarification and will get back to me.
Excited!!

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 28/09/2021 10:24

Oh, that sounds positive!

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