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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Safeguarding Everyone Training

76 replies

ThomasPenman · 27/09/2021 15:09

Here is an excerpt from recent Safeguarding Everyone training that I am completing online for work:

Monique is five and is experiencing gender dysphoria. Monique was assigned female at birth but he sees himself as a boy and gets upset if anyone calls him a girl or uses she/her pronouns. Monique dresses in clothes that are traditionally seen as 'boys' clothes' and loves to play in the construction area. Some children are starting to tease him and ask why he won't be a girl. Monique's parents are not accepting of his identity and have asked early hears practitioners to support and encourage Monique to play with toys that are traditionally seen as 'girl' toys. How do you respond to this?

Here are our suggestions of what you can do to support Monique:

  • Educate all the children about gender and trans identities in an age-appropriate manner, and educate them about what transphobia looks like and why it is not acceptable.
  • Educate all staff about trans identities and how to tackle transphobia.
  • Respect Monique's choices and let him play with toys and activities he is happy with.
  • Arrange to speak with Monique's parents and SENCo to discuss Monique's support needs and explain that Monique has a right to be who he is.

If it's relevant I work in England and not in an education setting.

OP posts:
KittenKong · 29/09/2021 09:43

I have to confess... our much older sisters’ old barbie and Sindy dolls (we didn’t ‘do’ dollies) didn’t fare too well in our little games...

psed · 29/09/2021 09:43

That’s unbelievable. I work with early years kids and have just done a safeguarding course online from the nspcc. Really please find out the course provider because it doesn’t seem to actually know what it’s talking about.

MarshmallowSwede · 29/09/2021 10:26

Why can’t kids just be kids and play with toys they want to play with?

GreyhoundG1rl · 29/09/2021 10:31

It's unbelievable, really. There have always been "tomboys" as they were called, who preferred climbing trees to playing with dollies teasets and hated pink.
It bothered nobody, it was not a problem. For anyone.
What the hell happened?

womaninatightspot · 29/09/2021 11:07

I really dislike gendered nonsense for children. Children should be able to wear what they want (within reason one of mine would of worn a dinosaur onesie for a year or two if allowed) and is comfy. Toys are toys, it feels like such a backward step to try and pigeonhole children into a stereotype. My twin girls do rugby and ballet so at various points of the week they are the epitome of a gender stereotype; just at opposite ends depending on what they are doing. We should be teaching children acceptance of each other and that the idea of boys doing X and girls doing Y is really old fashioned and that nowadays we know both boys and girls can do anything/ play with anything/ have long or short hair etc. Certainly that was the vibe when my eldest went through the school.

Itsbeen84yearss · 29/09/2021 12:06

It’s a bit strange to use a five year old in the scenario. Seems like the person who wrote it doesn’t know much about 5 year olds. 5 year olds just want to explore everything and anything whether that be trucks or glitter and they def don’t have much awareness of clothes certainly not enough to be making remarks about it

KittenKong · 29/09/2021 12:12

When I was that age my wee ‘boyfriend’ was a lad... who turned out to be gay. What? Kids change their minds??

MLMbotsno · 29/09/2021 13:43

@StrawberrySquirrelThief

Flipping heck - what happened to just letting kids play with whatever toys they choose. How do they know Monique has gender dysphoria and doesn’t maybe just wants to be like her friend Tom or her Dad?? Have all the rational adults left the building?
Yep. Monique is 5 Five 5
DifficultBloodyWoman · 29/09/2021 13:52

I know a five year old boy who identified as a dog. Animal loving family. The five year old is now an 18 year old male with a girlfriend and seems quite comfortable with his ‘identity’.

OP, I’m glad you’ve already flagged this to your boss. You may also want to mention that this training is directly against the advice of the department of education.

KittenKong · 29/09/2021 14:56

DS was a dog for a while (specifically a police dog). I was a witch (still am)

Original poster
ThomasPenman · 08/10/2021 17:32

For anyone interested in a follow up...

The top boss emailed to say that they have been unable to get a response from the training provider and so they've stopped using them. It was felt that the answers they were advocating were unsafe and would likely put the child at greater harm and cause unnecessary distress and harm to the parents too.

I am so grateful for all the conversations here that gave me the insight to notice how wrong this was; showed me the importance of challenging it; and gave me the confidence to speak up.

OP posts:
Piapiano · 08/10/2021 17:42

Yay! Well done!

This gender ideology just wouldn't exist without reinforcing stereotypes. I don't understand how anyone can possibly see it as progressive.

Whosresponsible · 08/10/2021 17:51

That's an excellent result. How the hell are we supposed to ensure that safeguarding is 'everyone's business' with that sort of rubbish is being used as a training tool. I can't quite figure out their angle or why they'd shoehorned it into safeguarding. I could easily reframe it so it would be a legitimate safeguarding concern but I doubt they'd like the answer.

ChateauMargaux · 08/10/2021 18:15

Great news.

334bu · 08/10/2021 18:18

👋👋

MildredsMoustache · 08/10/2021 18:32

That's great news OP, well done for challenging it.

Melroses · 08/10/2021 21:29

Great! Grin

Cabinfever10 · 08/10/2021 22:39

🥳

MrsOvertonsWindow · 08/10/2021 22:50

Well done OP - small steps.

ArabellaScott · 08/10/2021 23:27

@Dragonpox

You could just stop at "Monique is five"
Yep.
RainbowCrossing · 08/10/2021 23:28

@Jaysmith71

Maybe if we bought Monique a pink toy truck with 'Debbie Stobart' written on the side?
Underrated comment Grin
ArabellaScott · 08/10/2021 23:28

Oh, and then I read the rest of the thread. Smile

Well done, OP!

DifficultBloodyWoman · 08/10/2021 23:29

Thank you for challenging the batshittery. I’m so glad that your boss has dropped the training provider. Hopefully more people/companies will follow suit.

And, on another note, I’m surprised that the training provider didn’t even attempt to get back to your boss. I’d drop them as a provider for that reason alone. I think it reflects very poorly on the training provider and is probably indicative of their approach to all business matters.

TalkingtoLangClegintheDark · 08/10/2021 23:42

@ThomasPenman

For anyone interested in a follow up...

The top boss emailed to say that they have been unable to get a response from the training provider and so they've stopped using them. It was felt that the answers they were advocating were unsafe and would likely put the child at greater harm and cause unnecessary distress and harm to the parents too.

I am so grateful for all the conversations here that gave me the insight to notice how wrong this was; showed me the importance of challenging it; and gave me the confidence to speak up.

That’s a fantastic result, OP, well done!

And yes, this organisation shouldn’t be anywhere near safeguarding - I wonder if they could be reported to a wider authority, with the power to actually stop them spreading this noxious propaganda? Ofsted doesn’t cover this kind of stuff though, does it?

TalkingtoLangClegintheDark · 08/10/2021 23:43

Great to see the power of MN discussions for educating and creating real change 💪💪💪