I did it. I stepped up!

[RhubarbCrumbled]

I'm in a development day meeting online and someone suggested we should all share our pronouns. I declined and THEY ASKED ME WHY! I asked why I should and was sent a link (sorry, I didn't copy it in time) and advised I read up about it.
I said I didn't share in the belief that required pronouns to be shared in the same way as I wouldn't insist on people sharing their religion. As a woman I felt excluded. And others who had already put up their pronouns removed them. The pressure to do it was removed. Im hoping this means people will think through what they're being asked to do in future!

It's a very shallow post, but usually I wouldn't stand up like this.

Well done OP, you did good. Thank you.

I always imagine that when I'm in that situation, I will just be useless, incoherent and mumbling....

I'll maybe just come out bluntly. 'No'.

'People should just respect no as an answer.'

Good for you.

I dont know why but this really irritates me along with how to pronounce my name, qualifications, job titles, some gif thing ...the stuff that comes after kind regards is getting ever longer. This one though - for large organisations to make out they're all-inclusive when the reality is that they do bugger all bar the bare minimum is just

I'm just getting ever grumpier about this crap every day!

If someone tries to compel me to state my pronouns I'm going to quote pricnciple 6f of the Yogyakarta principles.

"F. ensure the right of all persons ordinarily to choose when, to whom and how to disclose information pertaining to their sexual orientation or gender identity, and protect all persons from arbitrary or unwanted disclosure, or threat of disclosure of such information by others"

Well done and thanks. Every time someone stands up for themself, it makes it easier for everyone else to do so.

I'm in academia and starting a new job this week. Dreading the question really, becuase I'm not doing it, but don't want to offend anyone else who has.

I was just going for "I'm not into pronouns" and when pressed, "Yeah, no. I don't really mind how people refer to me when I'm not around" or "Her majesty" because I identify as queen of the fucking world. I think your plan might be simpler!

It is silly to expect or force people to share their pronouns, especially as some people have a fragile gender identity or are questioning. Those who are happy to share will help those who want to share, but are worried. The rest of us who prefer to not be treated differently because we're women can be as anonymous as we like. Forcing people to out their gender identity is no different to forcing someone to out their address IMHO.

@AnyOldPrion

I think it’s great, not shallow at all. The fact that others removed theirs afterwards means you spared a number of women from feeling uncomfortable.

And courage calls to courage! Next time, maybe they’ll speak up for themselves.

I saw a presentation (not publicly available) by the authors of The Power of Us . iirc, they stressed that it's vitally important that somebody speaks up. It doesn't matter if they are wrong, the mere fact that someone has spoken up makes it easier for other people to contribute their perspective and then the group/whatever, moves to a better-informed finding (I paraphrase).

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1472274148/?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

The OP spoke up, the preference falsification surfaced and other people seem to have felt sufficiently comfortable that they were able to remove their pronouns.

Well done OP 👏

This ‘preferred pronouns’ nonsense is basically forcing employees to publicly state on their professional profile that they agree with Stonewall on everything and will do whatever they’re told by them, no matter how nonsensicle. Or face workplace bullying.

Well done for calling this out.

@Suitcaseseverywhere

I wish I was as brave. Currently ignoring the edict but expect to be pulled up on it soon

Channel RhubardCrumbled and we have all got your back.

I work for one of the most woke orgs on the face of the planet. More and more people are putting their pronouns and I’m just waiting to be told to add it to the email sig. I really don’t want to. It’s a pile of utter WANK. I will call people whatever they want to be called, but why do I have to indicate my FUCKING pronouns? I have a typically female Irish name. And anyone who is emailing me won’t be using my pronouns anyway and if they get my pronouns wrong when I’m not there I don’t give a FUCK.

And breathe. I know this is coming - and soon- and I’m surprised just how angry I feel about it.

@Suitcaseseverywhere

I work for one of the most woke orgs on the face of the planet. More and more people are putting their pronouns and I’m just waiting to be told to add it to the email sig. I really don’t want to. It’s a pile of utter WANK. I will call people whatever they want to be called, but why do I have to indicate my FUCKING pronouns? I have a typically female Irish name. And anyone who is emailing me won’t be using my pronouns anyway and if they get my pronouns wrong when I’m not there I don’t give a FUCK.

And breathe. I know this is coming - and soon- and I’m surprised just how angry I feel about it.

Because most people just follow along blindly because it's the 'nice thing to do' and don't understand everything that goes along with this apparently innocent bit of support.

We won't follow along blindly because we understand and it makes us appear 'not nice'.

I’m not going to do it. I’ll refuse. Because it’s NOT NECESSARY. no one who is emailing me directly needs to know my pronouns. They won’t call me she or her when they are emailing me.

And if we are in a room and someone is presenting in a way that they feel the need to indicate their pronouns that’s up to them. I’ll call them he or she or they or him or her or whatever they want. But they don’t get to tell me I have to indicate my pronouns. I’m a woman and that’s how I present.
And if someone called me he I’ve a mouth on me I can correct them

Why does it have to be this way?

We won't follow along blindly because we understand and it makes us appear 'not nice'.

Even so, is anybody else winded by the speed of the change from, "It's just pronouns" to India W declaring a cervix that IW is willing to show on TV as well as claiming status as a woman in such a way that, in line with other changes, basically everyone but a woman can claim to be a woman.

👏👏👏

@Gastonia

And others who had already put up their pronouns removed them. Years ago, I was in a restaurant with my parents, and the food was terrible. My dad complained politely, the manager was quite rude and said "no-one else has complained." Immediately, the people at the next table complained as well, and then other diners. In fact, it turned out the chef was off that day, but everyone else had sat eating the truly awful food without saying anything! It's so difficult to be the first person to stand up, so I'm very impressed.

Sounds like Fawlty Towers

Brilliant work, Rhubarb!

I wouldn't even know what 'sharing pronouns' would involve

Well done you!

💐💐💐

I was made to add mine even though I declined. I wish I’d have had a link to send.

In the end I went with ‘Any pronoun usually ascribed to an adult human female.’

@Joystir59

I wouldn't even know what 'sharing pronouns' would involve

Email sig file. An organisation's Sys Admin can turn them on for everyone for the Zoom name chryon. Meeting openers sometimes ask people to state them when they introduce themselves. Staff badges and lanyards. Some health trusts ask people to use them when they give their name to someone.

Etc.