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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Labour have committed to single sex spaces

999 replies

flumpetto · 22/09/2021 14:00

Excluding trans

This is a step in the right direction at long last....

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/keir-starmer-trans-women-labour-b1924832.html

OP posts:
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12
ArabellaScott · 26/09/2021 10:56

@QueenPeary

”most marginalised, abused community blah blah".

It’s so simple to show this is not true with clear and recent research - I guess people who spout this are just being fed the line by TRA “advisors” who they’ve hired to tell them what to think on this issue. But why not check like you would with other “facts” (i’d hope).

It reminds me of that spoof tv thing a while ago where they told politicians about the deadly new drug “cake” sweeping the nation, and got them to make conserned statements about it Hmm

The thing is that it's a logic breakdown. Even if it were true that transwomen were 'the most marginalised, most abused', what possible bloody bearing does that have on women's rights to single sex spaces?

Consent is not contingent on compassion for one party. Consent has to be freely and enthusiastically given.

Because one party has suffered does not mean that another party is duty bound to suffer to appease or comfort them.

It just doesn't make any logical sense.

ArabellaScott · 26/09/2021 10:57

What I hear when they say that is:

'Males abuse some other males, therefore females must shut up and do as the latter group of males asks'

Females do not have any right to their own requests, demands, preferences, feelings or responses.

Rhubarbsoup · 26/09/2021 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhubarbsoup · 26/09/2021 11:03

@Xenia

They think they are on some kind of superior moral high ground. Very few people in the UK want anything other than equality for all. The FT (which is pretty pro Labour these days) had an article recently about Labour - they said one issue Labour has is it is so miserable - all oh woe is mel; everything and anything is wrong. They don't delight in our people, our country, our culture. They aren't optimistic. That gets people down.
I think the issue is as well is that if you're struggling to put food on the table, keep a roof over your head, working ridiculous hours in a low paid job, trying to balance caring responsibilities with work or whatever else that overwhelms your life and headspace, things such as gender shite and the like there's just no room for. Its not that these people don't care about stuff, but that a person's capacity can only stretch so far, by labour forgetting about the fundamentals and clowning around with things that affect a tiny minority (but have consequences for half the population) its not going to win them votes.

Healthcare
Education
Employment
Support for those who need it

Are the core things that most policies they should be addressing fall under. Not social belief systems.

QueenPeary · 26/09/2021 11:04

No, when I said “come over as male”, I meant it genuinely.

99% of the time I can identify pat patronising male writing style on here and elsewhere, from the times where it’s been confirmed. It is that superior, if-I-sound-impressive-that’s-all-need, self-satisfied style - not all men of course but if you see it you can be pretty sure it’s a male writing. It comes from being socialised to assume you are superior and more right and that women are intellectually inferior so will be fooled. I get it all the time in my job. I have to tread carefully when I argue with men who are not right, at work, so as not to upset them and incur their wrath. It’s very frustrating.

It also makes me angry that so many TW who really want to be accepted as women indulge in so many typically male behaviours, from patronising women in this way, to threatening rape which is obviously the other end of the scale and I’m not accusing butterfly of that, but it gives me the same feeling of -how can you expect me to accept you as wanting to be a woman when you treat women like this? How about trying to actually see things from women’s perspective if you really think of yourself as a woman?

Waitwhat23 · 26/09/2021 11:05

[quote Helen8220]@QueenPeary
Butterfly I really think if you could stop trying the tactic “take flawed argument - dress it up in long words and authoritative-sounding verbiage” and actually think, consider that others are as important as you, and have needs that matter even if you can’t relate to them - you would make a giant leap. And come over less male.

I have often been accused on here of lacking empathy for others, but it’s not yet been suggested that I ‘come over’ as male. Which makes me wonder if your comment is intended as a rather snide and disrespectful personal dig.[/quote]
I'm wondering whether I've missed something. The comment above by QueenPeary seems to have been directed at Butterfly, not Helen. Butterfly is even named. Why did you think this was directed at you Helen?

Helleofabore · 26/09/2021 11:06

Females do not have any right to their own requests, demands, preferences, feelings or responses.

This message is indeed clear, isn’t it Arabella? It is an undercurrent that runs under many activist posts.

Sophoclesthefox · 26/09/2021 11:08

The thing is that it's a logic breakdown. Even if it were true that transwomen were 'the most marginalised, most abused', what possible bloody bearing does that have on women's rights to single sex spaces?

Spot on. It’s profoundly patronising, when you think about it. Like a consolation prize.

endofagain · 26/09/2021 11:10

I tried to explain the TRA agenda to a friend. Her husband is ill and can't work. She is running their business on her own, her only child has emigrated. She hasnt got the time, doesn't want to know. There are thousands of women like her who are too busy to listen. It is understandable. This is why this has all been pushed in under the radar. The people most affected are already overwhelmed and too busy to grasp the enormity of what is happening. It only hits home when they find themselves ill in hospital with an aggressive male in the next bed (as happened to a friend recently). Or a male person providing intimate care for their elderly mum. Or mixed sex toilets in their daughter's school.

merrymouse · 26/09/2021 11:11

The thing is that it's a logic breakdown. Even if it were true that transwomen were 'the most marginalised, most abused', what possible bloody bearing does that have on women's rights to single sex spaces?

Or the simple need to use language to describe sex.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 26/09/2021 11:18

Ooh! A week on holiday and I come back to this!! Bloody Nora!

I think the answer is contained within the question - I think you've very succinctly captured the key point of nuance to the entire matter with the word or and the implications it holds, and why both the EA2010 is as it is currently alongside why efforts to alter it are (thankfully) doomed to failure for the forseeable. I don't think the EA2010 says what you think/hope it does. Maybe go and read the acccompanying guidelines for yourself. Don't rely on us to translate it, or anyone else. Go straight to the souce... see what it says explicitly.

Then come back and start a new conversation on what it says explicitly about single sex spaces, transitioning, GRCs etc.

And maybe come back and tell us why same sex marriages mean there needs to be an overhaul...

Needs must be met. Single-sex space provisions are necessary and should be made, where need is identified. Yep. But, as your posts show again and agin - whose needs?

The service has to be fit for purpose - if it can't achieve its stated goals, then it's useless. If the only way for that goal to be achieved is by exclusion - for example, with respect to the provision of rape crisis centres that are likely to support women for whom being in the presence of those who are percieved as male would be completely impossible - then it seems that exclusion of people who are percieved as male is regrettably the only option. Yep! I work in a group of linked community charities that includes a crisis centre. The women who run and use the place voted for absolute exclusion of anyone with a male body - that included all men, all transwomen and all transmen. Their choice. They excluded anyone whose physical appearance, voice, mannerisms, behaviour etc could possibly have a negative impact of the female sevice users.

They also chose to support a mixed sex space and support group where anyone, women, men, transwomen and transmen, could access support and counseling and allow that the users there would make their own decisions on who could use the service

This part, right here, is the Cannot.

That's an obvious clear-cut case, right? Sorry Debs, you're percieved as male. This service isn't for you. Just wham a nice big F or M on it, using assigned sex at birth, done. Yep. Exactly that. No more, no less

Only it isn't. Where do trans men go? Is it appropriate for them to attend? Is it always, axiomatically? When is it not appropriate for them to attend? What about non-binary people? Detransitioners? Intersex people? Even if you ban transgenderism, they still exist. As does any flavour of GNC woman who doesn't reliably 'pass' within the category that is subjectively read as female. Birth sex is not, and has never been, a one-size-fits-all silver bullet for this issue, and in today's world it is not fit for purpose. You use the word ban a lot there. We haven't banned anyone, just offered alternative services. Services that the users, in turn, get to decide who can use them and ho needs fruther alternative provision. Not the most cost effective way of doing it but the point is to support women who have ben raped

So what then? Then we have to accept that for traumatised women birth sex does actually matter and that they don't need you or Mridhul, to tell them they need to be re-ducated, to rframe thier trauma, to accept what they find unacceptable, to care about everyone else over and above themselves.

Maybe we need a test? Awesome. Do we get a person to do so? What if they, in practice, have different subjective responses to gender cues? Who wants to be the Gender Cops whose job is to tell people all day long that sorry, no pass means no pass? How do you train the Gender Cops, and make sure their decisions are consistent? Sod off. If you want services based on gender go build them!

Maybe we need an AI, trained on a vast sample set, to be able to serve as a sorting hat? I am so happy for you that you can find mirth in the reality of women's trauma!

Simple, automated, reliable, replicable - perfect, right? OK great. There's a social media network that actually has one of those. It analyses an image of your face and then either allows or disallows you to register. The tech already exists! Again, sod off!

Several people in this thread have said they wouldn't be comfortable with any AMAB person, ever, being present in women's spaces. Yep! And nothing you have blathered will have done anything to reassure them that they could safely revisit that thought! All that gender, be nice shite means NOTHING to a woman who has been raped, beaten. Her trauma is real, She has no obligation to find additional emotuonal resources for someone else!

What you are asking is that traumatised women have more emptahy for a hypothetical 'other' than you are showing for them, safely typed out on an anonymous forum!

Waaaaaait. It let me join, using a photo of myself taken that morning at my least flattering, at the least favourable angle I could find. It wouldn't let several of my trans guy buddies, but would let another. The transphobic sorting hat AI couldn't even get its transphobia straight. I couldn't give a toss if your Sunday morning look was as Shrek like as Shrek himself. Who cares? Women are more than being beautifully groomed and flatteringly photographed.

You can't rely on visual cues and judgements; all personal assessments are subjective, and frankly, the idea of having a formal 'do you look male enough to be excluded?' process is astonishingly demeaning and offensive. It'll exclude plenty of people you define as women, who are likely to have need of these provisions. It's already horrendous enough that organisations like the TSA over in the states routinely scan traveller's genitals at airport security. Should we implement that here as well? I hate to burst your bubble. But, as a human physiologist, I can assure you that no man ever actually passes as a woman. Sat absolutely still and quiet, possibly. But as soon as a man moves EVERY woman recognises MAN! You can say anything you like about butch lesbians being challenged but as son as they move and talk their female body betrays their actual sex - and that includes transmen.

ONE SINGLE physical difference between men and women is repsonsible for this. A skeletal difference that cannot be changed bay any surgery. To see it in action look at any drag act simply walking in what they perceive to be a feminine manner.

Sorry mate, the male pelvis cannot ever replicate the female gait. EVER!

So no need for any genital check - which no GC woman has ever suggested. It is only ever gender ideologists that come up with that!

Any process that ultimately relies on notions of passability, no matter how cleverly worded they are, is broken, demeaning and I'd certainly consider any trans person who advocates for one to be acting like a bus-throwing piece of sh*t. It's just the same prejudices repeated in microcosm. Yep! You see we can agree, just not for the reasons you think. 'Passing' is a fallacy. Transmen occasionally manage it for a slightly longer time than transwomen can.

So we can't rely on recorded birth sex due to trans men, intersex people, non-binary people and gnc women; we can't rely on whether the sorting hat thinks you're a real girl as it'll include some people with a recorded male sex at birth who you want to exclude, and exclude some people with a recorded female sex at birth who you want to include. We could combine the two; first you have to show your sex passport, then you have to let the sorting hat decide if you're woman enough. And that is where you make a great leap what just isn't supported by science, common sense, common experience , logic, reality.... Your sorting hat seems to have been programmed by a male IT hack who hasn't identified his wn biases well enoug to keep them out of his coding. Simply because he deosn;t see a thing deosn't mean it doesn't exist so you he will have coded in all sorts of errors. And those errors are male persective ones, ones that automatically set women at disadvantage.

Sex passports? Appearance-based gatekeeping? Do you want to live in that world? Noope. And won't have to if people like yoursefl actually fucking LISTEN to what women are saying rather than talk all over them!

Thankfully, we have an Equality Act for that, and the conservatives haven't succeeded in getting rid of it yet, though they were crowing about being able to do so in the run up to Brexit. Again, I suggest you go to the source and read it and the accompanying guideines for yourself. It doesn't say what you have been told it does!

In the magical utopia where we're all happily dancing along together, anyone can identify as whatever they want without judgement, all needs are met without pressure or prejudice, and blablablabla there's probably no longer a need for sex-based spaces. And only a man could say that! Which is the whole point of everything I have typed here. ONLY A MAN COULD SAY THAT!

That world obviously isn't ever going to happen. Oppression is real; social dynamics are depressingly real. What we'd be talking about there is a fundamental change in the nature of humanity. Yes. Where men accept and see clearly that the sex based differneces between them, as a class, and women, as a class, make such a world difficult, dangerous, miserable for only one of those classes.

Third spaces have come up a few times here as an obvious seeming solution. The women can use the women's services, the men can use the men's services, and all those weird people who creep us out can use the one in betwee- Uh, I mean, anyone who can tolerate being in the same space as trans people can use the trans one. Well, unlike others here I don't actually care where transmen and transwomen go. That is for them to work out. Not for women, who are clearly saying no! Women's safety, dignity, choices are not to vbe given up in order to make any others feel more comfortable.

One woman hurt by any exception made is one woman too many... and we have already had far more than one woman hurt, killed. So sod off there too!

Therein lies the problem. The provision of a third space must be an addition; not a subtraction. An extra provision for everyone, including those who identify with neither of the existing options. And it's a great idea, if that's how it is handled. So go to it. Go and handle it!

But we aren't talking about inclusion. We're talking, explicitly, about exclusion. Yep! We are talking about the continued exclusion of males from femael spaces. Men may choose to exclude females from male spaces - their choice! Exactly as is provided for int he EA2010

Third spaces are in theory a great idea, but they fail on two key principles:
Firstly: All they actually do is kick the passing/filtering problem down the road. They don't in any way solve it, just introduce a new category to filter on. That filter problem is still present. Do you legally mandate intersex people use a third space? GNC women who don't reliably 'pass'? Trans and non binary people who experience and identify with some or all of womanhood? Detransitioners? Oooh! That deeserves a fuck off! Bringing people with DSDs into this is such a regular, unecessary strawman. Actaully appropriating someone elses medcial condition to get your own way? Despicable!

And we have already been through 'passing' as a fallacy. And the reality of recognising the actiual sex of any individual.

Secondly: If the Third Space is general-purpose inclusive, then it doesn't cover the established need for same-sex services. If the Third Space is the exclusionary trans ghetto where we send all the icky people who make us uncomfortable, then anyone going into it automatically makes themself into a target, because transphobia is still a problem in our society. It's not a solved problem. The entire idea of a general purpose exclusionary space just for trans people - that's institutionalised transphobia. Oh that gets all beautifully caught u in itself ,doesn't it. Did you know that if you logic is righ then yiu never have to go through all those hoops and u-turns to make sense?

The reasonable, safe and fair provision of Third Spaces requires us to already be living in a world where prejudice is a solved problem. Where it isn't still dangerous, for both trans and non-trans people, to open themselves up to suspicion, hostility and fear. We definitely aren't living in the world where a third space is a safe option yet. As I said, I don't care . That isn't my fight! YOU sort it out. Just as so many women have done for their single sex spaces. Go make what you need

What are we left with, then? Well I think we are left with women saying no. Keeping single sex spaces single sex.

With men having yet to speak up

With transpeople, non binary etc having to accept that what they want may never be available to them precisely how they are demnding it. That a compromise is NOT women aquiescing but trans people workig out their own alternatives.

Cannot, or Will Not. Both equally valid when it comes down to prptecting the safety and dignity of ANY person.

We have to, sensitively, on a case-by-case basis, negotiate this kind of subject as a culture. We've -always- had to, as using birth sex is not, and has never been a reliable marker - we've just been all the usual flavours of shit about it and ridden roughshod over things in the past. The need is clearly even greater now. Case by case doesn't mean person by person - another great gender ideology error. Again, I refer you to the EA2010 and its guidelines.

Cannot is already covered by the EA2010: The exceptions specifically exist to cover need for exclusion where it is objectively justified. I'm hugely sympathetic to the difficulties in practically enforcing the criteria for exclusion, and think they really do have to be defined on the individual level when viewed through the filter of harm mitigation. Nothing you have written suggests you have actually understood the exemptions.

Transphobia, however, is not objectively justified. Transphobia is not cannot. It is will not. And we all agree with that. But what we are discussing is not trnsphobia. It is the deconstruction of the rights of women. Until you can see that you will always come up against the brick wall of women saying no!

It's what the desperately hard-won GRA and EA2010 specifically protect against, and I'm damn glad we have them. They are not synonymous, the EA2010 was not written for trans individuals and actually the GRA is made redundant by the the EA2010. At the very least the two no exist in some opposition to each other.

Which is why we are all here talking about it!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 26/09/2021 11:19

My apologies. Maybe I should have tackled that in smaller pieces!

Blossomtoes · 26/09/2021 11:23

@CuriousaboutSamphire

My apologies. Maybe I should have tackled that in smaller pieces!
Definitely. I lost the will to live halfway through!
QueenPeary · 26/09/2021 11:32

samphire’s post!

Ereshkigalangcleg · 26/09/2021 11:33

I'm wondering whether I've missed something. The comment above by QueenPeary seems to have been directed at Butterfly, not Helen. Butterfly is even named. Why did you think this was directed at you Helen?

Extremely odd!

QueenPeary · 26/09/2021 11:40

I took to be Helen defending butterfly.

Waitwhat23 · 26/09/2021 11:44

@QueenPeary that's how I took it to begin with, but your comment didn't say 'posters like you' or 'others with similar opinions' but was specifically directed at Butterfly. Helen has then said 'Which makes me wonder if your comment is intended as a rather snide and disrespectful personal dig' which is why I found it odd.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 26/09/2021 11:46

I took to be Helen defending butterfly.

She makes it about herself, as if you were saying she comes across as male.

Waitwhat23 · 26/09/2021 11:47

Sorry, the whole comment makes it clearer that Helen had taken it as a personal dig at herself -

I have often been accused on here of lacking empathy for others, but it’s not yet been suggested that I ‘come over’ as male. Which makes me wonder if your comment is intended as a rather snide and disrespectful personal dig.

CharlieParley · 26/09/2021 12:05

If only the fervent desire to identify as a woman was accompanied here by an equally zealous intention to identify with women.

I've seen it, I know it's possible. I have met males who try to do just that. And who are willing to listen and learn when they get it wrong. But of course, they tend to not argue the toss about women's consent not mattering when it comes to access to women's spaces.

LobsterNapkin · 26/09/2021 12:12

@NiceGerbil

This is a massive derail though isn't it!

Hollywood will do whatever they think will give them most box office.

The end.

......Not all acting happens on screen. Or even in large national theatres.....
LobsterNapkin · 26/09/2021 12:23

@ArabellaScott

But instead of listening and changing, Labour double down and call people 'scum'. Insulting people doesn't win arguments, Angela.
I said this on the AIBU thread about whether the Conservatives will be in power forever.

People will not vote for you if you call them names like this. Probably even if they actually prefer your policies. There is no way to get over that kind of thing.

Someone asked what's the way forward - we've just had an election in my country and I found myself voting conservative, which I've done before but only rarely. More on the strength of their workers rights stuff than feminist concerns. But I am considering joining the party. I had a go at joining the Greens years ago, until they went bonkers, but the fact is that to influence policy best, you have to be a member, and at the moment they are the ones who look like they are best set to go in the direction I'd prefer on both of those things.

Not suitable for all but something to consider.

Helen8220 · 26/09/2021 12:31

Just to clarify, @CharlieParley was correct, I was defending Butterfly. My point was that her way of arguing seemed to me no more entitled, self righteous, patronising or lacking in empathy than mine (or, come to think of it, a significant proportion of posters on this forum), and yet she is the one accused of coming across as male. I therefore wondered whether this was intended to be a rather personal and potentially hurtful dig at Butterfly because she is a trans woman. Given that (from her previous posts) I understand she transitioned as a teenager or young adult, and has been passing as a woman for many years, it seems a jump to assume that her way of arguing stems from her having been socialised as male in the distant past (even setting aside the question of how effective that socialisation is likely to be on someone who identifies as female from a fairly early age).

teawamutu · 26/09/2021 12:37

@Helen8220

Just to clarify, *@CharlieParley* was correct, I was defending Butterfly. My point was that her way of arguing seemed to me no more entitled, self righteous, patronising or lacking in empathy than mine (or, come to think of it, a significant proportion of posters on this forum), and yet she is the one accused of coming across as male. I therefore wondered whether this was intended to be a rather personal and potentially hurtful dig at Butterfly because she is a trans woman. Given that (from her previous posts) I understand she transitioned as a teenager or young adult, and has been passing as a woman for many years, it seems a jump to assume that her way of arguing stems from her having been socialised as male in the distant past (even setting aside the question of how effective that socialisation is likely to be on someone who identifies as female from a fairly early age).
I respect your fairness, Helen.

In the interests of balance, I must say my reading of Butterfly was exactly the same though. It's a particular style and attitude.

Maybe it's entitlement rather than strictly maleness, but it's there.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 26/09/2021 12:43

In the interests of balance, I must say my reading of Butterfly was exactly the same though. It's a particular style and attitude.

There was no "snide " dishonest inference that Butterfly came across as male while not actually spelling it out, which was what Helen said in her odd comment. It was perfectly open. Butterfly is male, is open about that fact, and does indeed come across as male. You Helen, come across as a person who likes to say what you think people whose views you value perceive as the right thing, which comes across as female socialisation.