Quick reassurance needed please

[BlackAlys]

Return to school today and pupils toilets have changed to unisex toilets.

This surely isn't legal? Furious.

@123ZYX

Do the toilets that used to be boys just have cubicles?

They are identical to the girls. As you walk in, there's a run of 4 toilets and opposite those, there are a run 4 sinks together and mirrors.

Have just checked - no sanitary wear in the former boys toilets.

Trying to pen an email to my headship team and getting nowhere. Don't want to go full on, but want to calmly ask a few question. Help!

So they haven't increased the capacity for girls as the toilets on one side are for boys only as they have no sanitary bins. It's a bizarre move. All the girls should boycott this facility and use the single sex facilities.
The head sounds like an arrogant sexist and possible racist if he has no understanding of the needs of his female pupils of certain religions.

I don't think I'm going to get anywhere - there are still single sex areas around the site - apart from pointing out the added time necessary for those who want to access the single sex. Also, I could ask if there are plans to extend this mixed sex provision for all toilets?

This happened at my kids' school last September. Both of them hated it, as did their friends. I emailed the head to ask if he was aware how badly the change had landed with the pupils.
He emailed me a week later to say he had checked it out and it was unpopular so they had reverted back to single sex but kept 2 blocks of loos gender neutral.
There was no mention of anything else. No ideologies raised, just a simple exchange about what the students wanted.
If most of the students wanted mixed sex loos, I'd have been happy with just a couple of single sex ones being the solution.

Girls who had started periods were allowed to use visitor toilet

Thats ridiculous. Girls are 50 percent of the population and should have access to more than one toilet in an entire school if they have their periods. What an awful set up

OP - I think as a starting point you need to make the head aware of the issues of no sanitary bins in the previously described 'boys' toilets. If they are to be used by both boys and girls, where exactly are the girls supposed to put their used sanitary products other than down the toilet? Does he have a plumber on 24 hour call out to unblock them? Without them he is pretty much keeping one side for the boys and the other for the girls so not unisex (or whatever he wants to call them) at all.

I'm guessing there'll bins in there by Monday as the loos will be blocked with sanitary wear today by lunch time...
Not realising girls and boys are different is about to have a financial impact...

Well if there's no sanitary bins in what used to be the boys, then those are not facilities that girls can use. So the boys now have 8 cubicles and the girls have 4

Pickledonionsfortea

Fantastic letter x

Excellent letter pickles am saving this for when my kids schools / work decide to go woke

Thanks for everyone's advice.
Sanitary bins are now on order.
Year 11 girls are unimpressed and unless they are in a group over 6, refused to use them.
Boys I spoke to (as big as men, some of them) said they didn't like the thought of using them with a girl in the same area.

We have anticipated next weeks arrival of a large, mixed sex group of kids who are notorious for poor behaviour in and around the school and community, absolutely loving this idea and using it as their meeting place and hang out.

Either way, many kids lose out.

I'be asked to meet the Head on Monday morning.

@NiceGerbil

Our primary school did this they didn't have much room and worried about loitering/ bullying.

They rebuilt and had cubicles in space with hand washing in middle and open to corridor.

Girls who had started periods were allowed to use visitor toilet.

I was ok with that.

You might be OK with that but I know my DD who was 10 when she started her period was nor. She would've been mortified to use a different "special" toilet letting everyone in the school know she was on her period.

Girls are starting their periods younger it's really not uncommon for 8/9 year olds to start menstruating. Often the body is ready but emotionally they're not. Do we really want to make things harder for them?

I've already had the phone call from my DD, who was hiding in the toilet, to pick her up as she had leaked on her trousers and wanted to be picked up. She was too embarrassed to ask for help from staff. She would hate mixed sex toilets. It would just add to her embarrassment.

She started high school this year and guess what? All her friends are not drinking water in school as the toilets are not very nice. It was well into her second week before she had her first pee in school. And thats the normal toilet. Can you imagine if she had to share with the boys?

Why are we making things so difficult for our girls????

Makes me so mad

@BlackAlys

Thanks for everyone's advice. Sanitary bins are now on order. Year 11 girls are unimpressed and unless they are in a group over 6, refused to use them. Boys I spoke to (as big as men, some of them) said they didn't like the thought of using them with a girl in the same area.

We have anticipated next weeks arrival of a large, mixed sex group of kids who are notorious for poor behaviour in and around the school and community, absolutely loving this idea and using it as their meeting place and hang out.

Either way, many kids lose out.

I'be asked to meet the Head on Monday morning.

I would be extremely concerned about sex or rape happening in this environment.

My DDs both started periods before year 6.

In the context of that school it worked. I emailed the head when I heard and she called and addressed my concerns.

It is a tiny tiny school.

The girls had used the visitors toilet before anyway.

Both DDs were not fussed.

And ok I might be fine with it what about others.

The other mums I spoke to were baffled by my concerns. I explained to one and she was... Oh yeah 🙄

The kids toilets at that school have never had sanitary bins. In the context of that school. The number of pupils and the space. It made sense.

Op the point that boys don't like this either seems never too occur to anyone. Which is another thing that is shit.

We have loos in our school which aren't exactly unisex - open to the corridor, two rows of fully enclosed cubicles plus sink - girls (with sanitary bin) on one side, boys on the other.

High number of girls ask to leave lessons to use the loo because there is no privacy at break when the loos are busy.

I once did a design lesson and asked the kids to redesign any aspect of the school they chose - they ALL chose the loos!!!

And finally, sometimes the (fully enclosed and always clean, unisex) staff loos are busy so we often use the student loos. And once I was changing my sanitary pad in there, and a load of boys started banging on the door and cheering when they heard the wrapper. They ran off when I emerged because they did not expect a teacher!!! Girls waiting told me it happens all the time.

F

The kids toilets at that school have never had sanitary bins. In the context of that school. The number of pupils and the space. It made sense

How can it make sense. I mean whatever the size if the school you have no control over who starts each year and what their bodies may start doing by yr 4.

It can never make sense to not have basic facilities for half your pupils.

There should be a way of capturing girls’ and boys’ experience of using unisex loos. Perhaps ask the headmaster if he would support anonymous feedback from the school children and possibly parents. Might capture some of the experiences talked about above.

You /the school could do a little survey using a free one like surveyplanet online. Anonymous statistics of liking / not liking and suggestions / priorities can easily be seen in percentages...a bit like AIBU with the 95% of women never wanting men in our toilet/ changing rooms prisons etc.

But who is asking for these toilets in schools

Are the kids saying we need theses toilets.

It’s strange how this happening and just why this is happening

@Whatwouldscullydo

The kids toilets at that school have never had sanitary bins. In the context of that school. The number of pupils and the space. It made sense

How can it make sense. I mean whatever the size if the school you have no control over who starts each year and what their bodies may start doing by yr 4.

It can never make sense to not have basic facilities for half your pupils.

Because of the number of students.

If you don't know the school then it's all moot really.

I am well aware of the issues and was happy with what they did.

Secondary, or a larger primary. No way.

At op school.

They have repurposed a boys toilet-
Ok.
They need sanitary bins.

And if it's a standard block. Cubicles in room with door. IMO they need to have done risk assessment for bullying/ sexual harrassment assault etc