Help! HR complaint about my (pretty unexceptional) views

[RightSideOfHistory]

I know I have the law on my side thanks to the wonderful Maya, but I am feeling very shaken now that it's happening to me. I really wish I could go into detail here as I would appreciate some specific advice, but I'm scared about outing myself, so I'll just summarise the situation at a very high level. I give up a lot of my time to help with my company's EDI initiatives, because I care deeply about making things better for women in my field (which is very male-dominated and quite misogynistic), but pretty much everyone else involved in these initiatives subscribes fully to gender ideology. I am always very careful about what I say, because I know what happens to women who talk out of line, but I also speak up for what I think is right where possible, and try to offer alternative points of view. But now I am under investigation because a complaint has been made to HR about some perfectly reasonable things I said (plus some things they claimed I said, but which I didn't in fact say. I assume their incorrect inference was due to the language barrier between sex-realists and gender-ideologists. Though even if I had said what I understand they claimed I said, I don't think it would be worthy of complaint).

Since I can't give specifics (I really wish I could, as I feel very alone), please could you give me your best general advice for dealing with situations like this? The case should absolutely be thrown out, because I did nothing wrong; but regardless of what happens, I think I need to make a stand now. I feel suffocated, and I can't actually believe we've reached a situation where women being bullied into silence for talking about their own struggles is considered acceptable at a supposedly progressive company. It's dystopian.

I would read all relevant policies (complaint, grievance, diversity, social media), decide on the outcome I wanted (eg complaint not founded, still employed in same department) and then get employment law advice. In my case I'm a union member and I hope they would treat me as a member.

Do they know you are a gender critical feminist? Or do they just think you are transphobic?

I think the person who raised the complaint thinks I'm transphobic (though that word hasn't come up). But assuming it's one of the people I think it might be, they don't seem to be very critical thinkers, and have used the word "TERF" before to refer to people like JKR, which I happen to think is far worse than anything they've claimed I said.

So sorry you are going through this. If it was me, I'd approach it as 2 issues.

First issue: you need to ensure that you are not going to be subject to disciplinary proceedings resulting in a warning or worse.

Has the complaint been set out in writing? Make sure it is given to you in black and white.

Make sure you have a clear account of exactly what the complaint is. Don't try to second guess it by trying to figure out what they think they thought you said. If the complaints are not clear/make no sense, require that they clarify them. Also require proper citations, i.e., "On X date, in Y document, RightSide said Z".

Answer each and every complaint in writing, citing evidence (or lack thereof in respect of the false claims). Take this to an employment solicitor and get advice. Make sure it is just right, and make sure it is filed with HR under cover of a formal letter , preferably from a solicitor.

Don't attend any meetings without a witness present, again, preferably a solicitor, but otherwise someone you trust. Take someone reliable who can take copious notes while you talk/listen (very hard to take notes and absorb what's going on when you are scared).

Though even if I had said what I understand they claimed I said, I don't think it would be worthy of complaint).

I wouldn't go down this route. Just cold hard facts: this is what I said, these things I did not say, none of it was transphobic (or whatever their complaint is).

So second issue: you say you want to make a stand. If/how you do that depends, I would have thought, on the outcome of the first issue, and will depend on your employment environment as to what is appropriate. It may be achieved simply by dealing with issue 1. Hard to tell without further details.

Good luck

Do you have written evidence of your reasonable interpretation of gender, e.g. emails with reasonable comments? (E.g. I support women's spaces, which is obv not transphobic).

Do you have household insurance that covers legal costs? Many people don't know that's possible, but it's sometimes the case. You could then enlist the support of a good GC solicitor.

Agree that you need to stick icily to facts, and say you want everything in writing. I'd also keep a written note on everything that is said, and email after every discussion on the phone or in person, setting out what you believed the conversation to have been. And yes to having someone with you at any meeting.

Silencing women who point out that sexism impacts us, and we have a right to a say in how we are defined, in law and in language, as a class. How terribly inclusive and diverse - and how in breach of the law, given such beliefs now have legal standing, and most of those holding them (as their own slur admits, with their F) are women.

Yes definitely get it all in writing.

TedImgoingmad has it absolutely right.

1. Get everything in writing.
2. Go to a lawyer.
3. Ask for meetings to be recorded or transcribed verbatim.
4. Always have a witness present. Preferably a lawyer.
5. Avoid being alone with the complainant [probably not hard!] as they may try to provoke you.

they don't seem to be very critical thinkers, and have used the word "TERF" before to refer to people like JKR, which I happen to think is far worse

OP continuing the list of ideas

1. Raise a complaint against people who have said TERF and criticised women, for creating a hostile environment for women.It doesn't belong in the workplace. Go on the offensive.

1. Consider taking sick leave to take time to care for you. And to provide evidence on what impact this is having. And to take time out to plan a response.

It's worth making contact with Legal Feminist group
legalfeminist.org.uk/

and/or Sex Matters Organisation sex-matters.org/

I'll just add have a look at the Free Speech Union. I understand this ia the kind of thing they help with

are you in a union?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Make sure you take time to look after yourself. Talk to your women friends, spend time with them. Go for walks in nature. Do some yoga, watch or read something exciting - make sure you get a mental break from this as often as you can.

Thank you for standing up for women and girls.

This article by Peter Daly may useful to you: www.linkedin.com/pulse/forstater-judgment-what-next-peter-daly

No advice, just my very best wishes and additional hand holding.

PP ideas in the thread so far...

1. Get the complaint set out in writing? Make sure it is given to you in black and white with citations, i.e., "On X date, in Y document, RightSide said Z".

1. Answer each and every complaint in writing, citing evidence (or lack thereof in respect of the false claims). Take this to an employment solicitor and get advice. Make sure it is just right, and make sure it is filed with HR under cover of a formal letter , preferably from a solicitor

1. Don't attend any meetings without a witness present, again, preferably a solicitor,

1. Ask for meetings to be recorded or transcribed verbatim.

1. Avoid being alone with the complainant [probably not hard!] as they may try to provoke you.

1. Raise a complaint against people who have said TERF and criticised women, for creating a hostile environment for women.It doesn't belong in the workplace. Go on the offensive.

1. Consider taking sick leave to take time to care for you. And to provide evidence on what impact this is having. And to take time out to plan a response.

1. contact the Legal Feminist group, Sex Matters and Free Speech Union

legalfeminist.org.uk/ sex-matters.org/

1. If you have a union, contact them

10. look after yourself. Talk to your women friends, spend time with them. Go for walks in nature. Do some yoga, watch or read something exciting - make sure you get a mental break from this as often as you can.

11. Read article by Peter Daly www.linkedin.com/pulse/forstater-judgment-what-next-peter-daly

Really hard to say anything without knowing what you have said

Which she's said she isn't going to say, happy.

@happydays2345

Really hard to say anything without knowing what you have said

This is obviously untrue, given the helpful summary of 11 points that have already been made, posted directly before your post....

OP, no need to give details of what you said. Don’t be tricked into outing yourself here.

Otherwise, good advice here. I’d just add that your trade union may be as captured as your colleagues — it’s a disgrace, and I speak as a lifelong union member. So though I would seek the support your union ought to give you, I would definitely get everything in writing and follow the legal route outlined by knowledgeable commenters on this thread.

Your union should provide legal support, OP. Let them bring the details of the complaint to you, expecting dates and details of context (where you were, what you were doing, who else was there). Anything unwitnessed is going to be one person's word against another.

Make your own notes about when you have heard offensive misogynist slurs (like T**F) and from whom, with context as above, and hold in reserve in case you decide to counter complain.

Look carefully at the second Forstater judgement and the EA of 2010 and be ready to jump if either are misquoted to smear you.

The fad for such attacks has peaked, I hope, and too many women have won employment tribunals etc for any company to feel confident in launching one. You could easily wind up having grounds to sue for breach of your employment rights or wrongful dismissal if they sack you.

And OP? Don't go into any meeting without a clear agenda and a trusted friend, preferably your union rep. 😉

Is your Line Manager supportive of you? Would be nice to have someone else from within the company on your side.