Greetings from the Planet Zarg

[Jaysmith71]

I have been observing your media and have a question:

These "A-Levels" that are everywhere today, they are only taken by blondes in little strappy vests, yes?

Yes that's correct. And they're all female. Nobody male succeeds at A level unless they have floppy hair, and nobody fat or spotty is able to pass either

I am grateful to BBC News for making this clear.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-58086908

And if you lack the necessary vest, the Daily Mail makes it clear that crop-top or a boob-tube will do:

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6069957/Thousands-level-students-celebrate-commiserate-results-day.html

Also you will see they are only taken by people who can fly in the air in a large group. Ground-based humans are not allowed to take them.

Have you also noticed that many of them hover in the air when they have received their results? In said scrappy vests?

Great minds @WorkingItOutAsIGo

We currently have two types of young female, the type with strappy vests and long, straight blonde hair, and the type with a septum ring and short blue hair who answers to a name like 'Cameron' or 'Felix'. There was previously greater variation, but this dwindled with the invention of the smartphone.

All successful a level candidates are blonde.

The passing of a levels also has a temporary but catastrophic effect on muscle tone - as demonstrated in the pictures all those who pass need to be bodily supported by either the rest of the similarly affected group or a male.

Is there a swimsuit round?

It could be like Miss World 1970, but with slightly trickier questions.

IvyTwines2

Might have been the microwave radiation that caused the decrease in diversity?

On a slight tangent have you also noticed how the only people who celebrated bars and clubs recently opening after lockdown were young women in small outfits many of whom required assistance to walk.