I think I've figured out why the Guilty Feminists feel guilty...

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

@Glinner sent this round today:

"(From a thread by @Forwomenscot) The CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis has said "Sexual violence happens to bigoted people too. But if you bring beliefs that are discriminatory, expect to be challenged on your prejudice. Reframe your trauma" Apparently, survivors are to be "educated" in this service."

The CEO is Mridul Wadhwa, a male person who does not have a GRC and who believes that rape victims orgasm.

The podcast twitter account is blocking everyone who says "WTF?" etc

@littlbrowndog

MW says he doesn’t know if MW would have been hired if they knew they were trans 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Did the job advert not say it was for women under exemptions of the act

To be fair, that was regarding a different role in a different organisation, I understand.

It may well have been exempt, but I don't know that for sure.

I don't post very often but follow with interest and increasing concern.

It's clear RCS are captured and unprofessional. First with their actions and at the moment with their Twitter. Releasing pics of criticism is an antagonistic and destructive approach. (And the tweets they have published are quite mild).

I assume the target for my (our) concerns should be the governing body.

The emotional abuse this has the potential to unleash on women is obviously the main concern and I assume runs against the purpose of the organisation.

To make a clear argument to a governing body though, the broken rules need to be explicit.

So my understanding now is that the CEO does not have a GRC. Does that mean that they don't come under the category woman or do they not need that certificate? That's where I will start my thinking.

I then wish to review the evidence for sex and gender of care providers in the wake of trauma related to sexual assault and rape.

This organisation cannot be run based on feelings. It has to be about the evidence and the purpose of the charity. They must match.

I'm outraged that we can't stick together to support the vulnerable in our society. It's uncivilised and regressive and sickening actually.

I think of underage girls and women who either don't speak English or have an abusive household. I believe if they asked to only be tended to by a child that would be reasonable tbh but asking for a woman is more than fine.

Twitter is getting interesting. #askrapecrisisscotland is trending at number 1 which is likely therefore to generate a wider conversation.

Do have a browse.

Re funding of rape crisis, PP.

My understanding is that if organisations which are set up to provide services for women refuse to accommodate TW then they are precluded from getting funding from the Scottish Government.

This is unfair because these organisations have been built for women, by women, precisely because no other fucker was willing to help us. And now, these resources have been STOLEN from us.

Stonewall has 7 million a year . They could have built all the facilities trans and NB people need. Money to support trans and NB people is there, and oodles of it.

I'm not sure whether this is an example of colonialism or invasion.

Either way, I want my resources back. They are gifts from the women who struggled to build these vital services and it is disgusting that they don't get central funding when we have so many dead women every week.

And, while I'm at it, I'll have my sex based rights too, thank you.

So, catching up...

The thing that strikes me most about MW is how, in every scenario, MW becomes the central person and how little MW is able to talk about the real practical impacts on women of violence and trauma.

MW talks a good game and probably sounds lovely and caring: lots of chat about beautiful lives, inclusivity and fighting for the little guy, but it is all weirdly impersonal and rather redolent of a Hollywood therapist than someone who has seen genuinely broken women at their most raw. There is no discussion in that podcast about the real effects on women, there is no personal testimony or empathy.

And here's a cynical bit. MW talks of traumatic events and how some people (incl MW) never knew a life before trauma but I have never seen anything to suggest what this was. Now I understand that people do not want to lay personal history bare, but MW hints all the time at a terrible past and "witnessing domestic violence" in vague terms while never offering anything bland but concrete (eg, my father hurt my mother). There is an uneasy sense in all MW's statements that people have to cede to the most vulnerable person in the room, without any evidence that this privately educated person who - from what I can glean - came from a well connected family and is now lauded by half the establishment of Scotland has ever suffered the violence of the women who come to RCS.

Someone described MW as having a Florence Nightingale complex and I think it is right, but there is also a martyred saint complex there too coupled with a possibly narcissistic need for attention.

I think this blog is telling. It was written by a woman who met MW at a party and what comes through - forcibly - is MW's need to control perceptions and to be validated. I worry that MW has moved on from party guests to rape victims.
virginiasroom.co.uk/f/on-validation-and-tolerance

I'd never heard of this podcast, or the presenters/hosts - there were a lot of words said but not a lot of it made sense and those words that did make sense were of the 'check your privilege, be an ally, educate yourself, most marginalised' yadda yadd - pile of tosh

Relevant thread with further background:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4234774-New-CEO-of-Edinburgh-Rape-Crisis

I have never met MW. I wish them well.

I am uncomfortable with the fact that anyone would try to “re-educate” vulnerable women who have been raped. Why not simply support them in the best possible way?

If MW wants to re-educate women and increase awareness of transwomen, is there not any other setting that would be more appropriate?

" ...it is all weirdly impersonal and rather redolent of a Hollywood therapist than someone who has seen genuinely broken women at their most raw"

MW never will see any women at their most raw, utterly broken. And MW will forever be wilfully ignorant as to the reasons why. Yet will continue to get all the plaudits from the Scottish 'professional feminists' who rate virtue in praising MW above the needs of vulnerable & traumatised women & girls.

Those to invest in flattery/arse licking of a deceitful male who lied by omission to secure a job working with the most vulnerable women who couldn't say no are beneath contempt IMO. But MW is the person who chooses MW's political agenda at the expense of vulnerable traumatised women's need for therapeutic female only support. MW alone is responsible for the warped choices made to target women at their most vulnerable for personal validation.

I used to listen to the guilty feminist in the early days and found it really interesting but no way will I listen ever again. I was raped in my mid 20s and reading this thread has given me a huge angry, tearful lump in my throat. I’m not sure I can coherently express my upset or opinions on this matter but rape destroys your confidence, self esteem, self worth and so many other things. You can’t think straight and second guess every feeling you have. There’s so much fighting you have to do just to deal with the trauma, how dare anyone suggest you have to reframe it. I am so angry and thank you for so many other posters who have expressed views so much more eloquently.

@AnxiousAndUnraveling

I used to listen to the guilty feminist in the early days and found it really interesting but no way will I listen ever again. I was raped in my mid 20s and reading this thread has given me a huge angry, tearful lump in my throat. I’m not sure I can coherently express my upset or opinions on this matter but rape destroys your confidence, self esteem, self worth and so many other things. You can’t think straight and second guess every feeling you have. There’s so much fighting you have to do just to deal with the trauma, how dare anyone suggest you have to reframe it. I am so angry and thank you for so many other posters who have expressed views so much more eloquently.

I'm so sorry about this and the feelings around the RCS issue.

You and all in need deserve robust and safe services xxx

@AnxiousAndUnraveling

I used to listen to the guilty feminist in the early days and found it really interesting but no way will I listen ever again. I was raped in my mid 20s and reading this thread has given me a huge angry, tearful lump in my throat. I’m not sure I can coherently express my upset or opinions on this matter but rape destroys your confidence, self esteem, self worth and so many other things. You can’t think straight and second guess every feeling you have. There’s so much fighting you have to do just to deal with the trauma, how dare anyone suggest you have to reframe it. I am so angry and thank you for so many other posters who have expressed views so much more eloquently.

Oh so sorry for you. It does destroy

My heart for you

😍😍😍

Thanks @ifIwerenotanandroid, for your reply and clarification. I can understand the importance of the hands on activities you describe. Does anyone know what directly useful (eg client facing) activities that the CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis would engage in? Or is it purely administrative? If so, what is there to administer? These values and mission statements are all so vague. They seem to hide more than they reveal.

MW never will see any women at their most raw, utterly broken. And MW will forever be wilfully ignorant as to the reasons why. Yet will continue to get all the plaudits from the Scottish 'professional feminists' who rate virtue in praising MW above the needs of vulnerable & traumatised women & girls.

I've met MW at an event in the Scottish Parliament. I'm hypervigilant, so I read MW as male both in person and on video. There's simply no way I would have been able to disclose to MW even without knowing all of this. I carried so much shame and guilt that I knew no man could comprehend and I needed to talk to a female counsellor.

But knowing what I know, I understand even less why MW is lauded like this. MW poses as a migrant woman most concerned about migrant women who have no recourse to public funds and so can't find help after abuse. But MW comes from a rich family. Came here as a student, not a migrant. And the claims about domestic abuse in MW's family are quite fluid and flexible - sometimes it was abuse, sometimes it was not.

I now take all MW's claims with a pinch of salt.

But MW's own words do tell of an obsession with getting abused women to affirm males as female rather. In a video interview last year, MW talked about spending a lot of time at Shakti Women's Aid "educating" the traumatised women out of their prejudices against male transgender people. Those are women from predominantly conservative backgrounds who often can only access help with the permission of the men in power in their communities. Permission they could lose if obvious males visit the same centre. And despite banging on and on about the needs of these women, MW focused on gaslighting them into denying the evidence in front of their eyes. To make male people happy.

RCS has simply enabled MW to inflict this obsession on all other abused women.

@toomanytrees

Thanks *@ifIwerenotanandroid*, for your reply and clarification. I can understand the importance of the hands on activities you describe. Does anyone know what directly useful (eg client facing) activities that the CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis would engage in? Or is it purely administrative? If so, what is there to administer? These values and mission statements are all so vague. They seem to hide more than they reveal.

I often wonder what people at the top of companies do - even lower level managers - as I've been in or known people in companies where layers of managers seem to have meetings & sometimes meetings about meetings, with no discernible result. My own theory is that some managers should only go into work for 2-3 days a week, because after that they have nothing to do & only cause work & trouble for other people.

I'd be interested to see what RCC managers actually do, too.

Transcript
(extract)

Deborah Frances-White:
"And any time we say, one person from this group, did this. Therefore, I can make an assumption about the actions, the future actions, of other people who share this identity. That is the definition of prejudice. It's pre judging. It's saying, Hey, I had this experience, or I
saw this on television or I read this in the paper. And now I prejudge people, if this group is to be more likely to be violent, or predators or in some way or another, they might hurt me. So I need to exclude them. That is the definition of prejudging or prejudice. You are literally
prejudging somebody based on something about their identity that they were born with, that they cannot do anything about. And you cannot glean any information about what somebody will be like, based on what somebody else who may have shared one characteristic with this person, but no others. And that is really, really important. Transwomen are more likely to experience violence, they're more likely to turn up to refuges vulnerable, and also fearful of what their response might be to them at the refuge." (continues)

I have never listened to this podcast and I am unlikely to do so again on the basis of this. Is a woman who has made a career from being a feminist commentator really denying that male sexed people represent risk to girls and women?
Recognising that a particular group (eg males) is more likely to be violent, or predators or in some way or another and they may harm children or women is the basis for Child Protection, Women's Services and MVAW strategies. Excluding those who represent risk of harm is mitigating risk. That is the definition of Safeguarding.

Does anyone know what directly useful (eg client facing) activities that the CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis would engage in?

An insight with Mridul Wadhwa into working in a rape crisis centre
by Karolina Zieba, 5/04/19
(extract)
"The work is incredibly emotionally draining, so Wadhwa has to be balanced and mindful of her own emotional state. The Student asked her what she does to take care of herself: “Well I don’t deal with individual survivors every day, so for me what I do in terms of self-care is a lot of avoidance. I do see survivors – four a week usually – who help me stay connected to the cause…but it’s important to keep it fun. We should be able to laugh and use humour at work. In terms of my team, I try to cook for them once a week or every other week.”
studentnewspaper.org/article/an-insight-with-mridul-wadhwa-into-working-in-a-rape-crisis-centre

Vulnerable service users of supportive services should never be used to keep workers connected. The service exists to support victims of sexual abuse. Workers are employed to provide support.

I've never worked anywhere where the CEO has cooked for staff (even when I've worked in restaurants!). Sounds like forced teaming to me

I stopped listening to TGF several years ago. It started off funny but it went woke and tedious and had lots of long speeches that didn’t really say anything. Also DFW invited TW on and let them say misogynistic things and things which silenced and shamed women and she let them do this. Every time.

@TinselAngel

I've never worked anywhere where the CEO has cooked for staff (even when I've worked in restaurants!). Sounds like forced teaming to me

Wadwha has a thing about cooking and sex-based roles as demonstrated at the beginning of the interview:

Mridul Wadhwa :
"Thanks. I actually have a “I’m a feminist but..” I had to work really hard to think of one because I’m such a good feminist. I'm a feminist but...I don't think a man's place is in my kitchen. In fact, I'm so bad that my husband is meant to take care of dinner tonight, and I gave him so many instructions that he will not be cooking in my kitchen tonight. So yeah, I don't think a man's place is in my kitchen."

In the podcast she suggests that listeners should use ideas from one they did with Travis Alabanza (eyeroll) to challenge their family and friends to become trans allies.

Lisa Muggeridge is onto something here. Thanks for this screen TabbyStar. Males stating that they NEED to be validated by working in rape crisis centres, taking part in breast-feeding support, barging in on forums around rape, menopause, endometriosis, still-birth and all health /trauma services around women's bodies. These individuals psyche must be understood by the public. It's not the same as a trans woman with gender dysphoria who'd never do this. This is different. This is a male born person forcefully removing women's boundaries around their bodies and trauma. The invasion, the 'educating', the 're-framing' - WHAT is driving a male to get into spaces around female bodies? to take over? What is the psyche?

I'd like to see research on males demanding entry into female trauma and health services. Such as:

• rape centres and helplines
• breastfeeding classes
• menstruation
• menopause
• female-only health conditions - endometriosis,
• miscarriages
• stillborns

To understand what's driving these males, why they do it, what the impact is and to categorise the conditions so that the public know what they're dealing with

It's really important for people to get their heads around this.

This is a male born person forcefully removing women's boundaries around their bodies and trauma. The invasion, the 'educating', the 're-framing' - WHAT is driving a male to get into spaces around female bodies? to take over? What is the psyche?

Its coercive control/narcissitic abuse, as Lisa Muggeridge comments these are predictable predatory behaviour patterns. As such, it is deeply concerning when Women's Services does/can not recognise this.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feminism/3452784-Coercive-Control-a-need-for-better-awareness

Good god. It's the exact opposite of feminism to proclaim its women's 'job' to look after everyone else.
So tired of this nonsense.