Milli Hill: I will not be silenced

[TheFleegleHasLanded]

I love Milli Hill’s work and know many other women on here do too. Check out her latest blog:

“But too many women have been silenced, and I don’t want to join them. There are conversations about women’s rights, women’s bodies, and the words we use to talk about women’s issues, which need to be had, but which have been made taboo in our current culture. And this is not healthy. Worse still, women like me have been used as an example to others of what happens to you if you raise questions. And others have seen these public draggings, and decided to keep quiet themselves. This kind of behaviour, in which dissidents are made a public example of in order to ensure compliance to dogma, does not have very good historical precedents. And yet it currently describes itself as ‘the right side of history’.”

www.millihill.co.uk/2021/07/10/i-will-not-be-silenced/

If I were reading the term 'birthing people' without any knowledge of the debate, I would assume they meant midwives etc, those present at the birth

I love her.

The first time I gave birth (less than three years ago!), a thing called "women-centred midwifery" was a big thing. Put the woman at the centre of birth experience. You don't hear about it much anymore. Maybe the concept still holds, but now it'd be...what...birthing parent-centred midwifery?

Got an email from Modibodi about postpartum underwear and empowering postpartum bodies for people who have given birth. I obviously support that, but it's just so blatant that they've tried their hardest to remove any reference to women or mothers.

I'm still fuming at the Healthline pair of article on HPV in men and HPV in people with vulvas. Just doesn't seem inclusive to me.

Sorry, rambling.

Just read the screenshots. Dangerous. Violent. For saying women give birth and to at least mention the word women in conjunction with birthing people/birthers.

Five years ago nobody would have batted an eyelid if you said women give birth.

This cultish nonsense has taken over so quickly.

I have a nearly 13 year old who may or may not have children one day. I'll be buying her books for my daughter. I am horrified at the way the word 'woman' has become toxic - how did we get here?

The rush to erase the word, and experience of, woman is disgusting.

Has anyone contacted the organisations involved, and had a response?

I hadn't heard of her because I last gave birth so many years ago but she's a very clear and rational writer who didn't deserve that censure. I'm really glad she's pushed back.

I've just read Milli's blog and what jumped out at me was this (my bold):

Meanwhile the online storm continued, with the really intense part lasting for at least 2 weeks – although there are little ripples and shockwaves even today. Some birth workers seemed to be revelling in it, making long videos or posts about me, interspersed with other posts advertising their business.

Naked self interest and greed, people in the same area of work grubbily jumping on a bandwagon to trash a woman's work so they can promote their own shitty blog, website or company. The same happened with Jess de Wahls and others.

The "vagina museum" and all those silly little bookshops knowing that if they put out a post about "TERFs" they'll get more donations and free promotion.

Yes, I have been silenced by the “public draggings” as she phrases it. I need money to survive and I can’t compromise my job or my children’s safety by speaking out.

Woman centred care seems to be morphing into

parent centred care - the inseminator as equal partner in making decisions about the treatment of the gestator

family centred care- great aunt Lydia says the gestator should be sedated with chloroform and great aunt Lydia’s opinion is just as important as the gestator’s, 3 year old sibling-to-be also has important and valid opinions that the gestator should not leave the house and that great aunt Lydia should take the product of gestation back to her house as soon as it is removed from the gestator so that 3 year old sibling-to-be can have the full attention of the gestator once more

And bizarrely according to lll USA, although in relation to breastfeeding but I suppose eventually it will be applied to pregnancy and birth

Community centred care- the local religious leader has some input on how the gestator should bring forth the product of gestation, the local parent group want to observe the removal of the product of gestation from the gestator for educational purposes, their needs are equal to those of the gestator after all the gestator already has 3 year old sibling-to-be so it is only fair that a community member without a uterus be given the product of gestation this time around.

Who owns birth? The woman experiencing it is the only one who should be centred in childbearing.

Here’s the LLL USA mission statement for anyone interested, today’s quiz question how many times are the words woman or mother used? No prizes I am afraid.

lllusa.org/about-us/

We desperately need people more people like Milli to stand up for childbearing women. We need an organisation to rally around. I would have thought of

The Association of Radical Midwives
The Association for Improvements in Maternity Services
La Leche League GB
The Association of Breastfeeding Mothers

None of them are openly and explicitly stating their support for woman centred and mother centred care and language.

It is astounding that these particular organisations are not standing up for women.

There are no doubt many volunteering and working for women in maternity and there is no organisation that they can join to show support for the woman centred approach.

A big part of the current problem is that the ‘bar’ for what is transphobic has been set so low that it even incorporates statements of fact such as ‘humans are sexually dimorphic’ or ‘only female people give birth’. Recently I stated that there were two sexes in a facebook discussion with midwives and was told I should ‘respect other people’s beliefs’. I find it worrying that biology has somehow changed category from ‘science’ to ‘religion’ in this way. But even if we accept this, it should not therefore follow that those of differing beliefs are persecuted.

This. Absolutely this.

Vigilantism. Mob rule.

I should have added Totalitarianism.

@DaisiesandButtercups

Milli if you are reading this then thank you so much for continuing to stand up for women and for woman centred care!

It is unfortunate that the PBM groups have closed. We are going to need local groups which are explicitly woman centred for pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding more than ever now with this assault on women coming from all directions. I totally understand why anyone being hounded and harassed in that way would feel she needed to do it though.

Thanks @ixqik for the share token.

You can go to her instagram page and like her post about it. www.instagram.com/milli.hill/?hl=en

Have just read the article in Sunday Times.
Difficult to believe the mentality of the people who oppose her.
More strength to her.

Jeez that is depressing and frightening. Although it is definitely a testament to the ideological grip being loosened that she feels able to write it at all.

Thank you Mlli. You have done a courageous thing. And it's absolutely the right thing.

This ideology thrives on fear, and the fear diminishes every time someone else speaks out.

And women are speaking out.

It is old that people don't realise that if you confine areas of women's oppression, to the specific task they are undergoing, no dots will get joined.

But I have to say, calling birthing people the fragile sex takes the fricken biscuit.

Partly because they know absolutely what sex they are talking about, but can't bring them self to say the word woman.

But also because they are calling an entire sex, birthing people. Not just the ones who are giving birth. And actually use the category sex to describe them.

Their whole raison d'etre is recognising sex, so shoehorning the ideology into a statement about it, is more tricky than they thought.

I'm another who'd never heard of her, so thanks for sharing this and spreading the word. I'll look at her books about periods with a view to buying them for my daughter.

Well done to Milli for speaking out. I'm so disappointed in Birth Rights. I used to think they were a really good organisation. I'm sure they still do good work but this blog suggests they may have lost their way a bit.

I’ve preordered the book on periods for my daughter.

So fed up of this - hope it is starting to change.

Appalling abuse and bullying. The response of Birthrights is especially craven and just disgraceful. Milli is a damned good writer.

Thank you for posting this OP.
I make a point of buying JK Rowling's books, and I'm off to order Milli's books too.
It's a small way in which can support women's rights

I'll point out that one of the effects of shifting from woman-centred care and severing the link between a woman and pregnancy, making it about a 'person's choices' rather than a woman's autonomy feeds very well into anti-abortion rhetoric that has been trying to control women for decades. There's a significant anti-abortion argument that demands a man have equal say in permitting a termination. Severing women from their reproductive rights, be it in conception, pregnancy and birth is not a feminist act, it's a male supremacist act.

Canada.

www.jccf.ca/nurse-being-investigated-by-college-of-nurses-for-her-gender-critical-views/

Exactly FloralBunting, my examples may have been rather extreme but I am genuinely concerned about the movement to get men “equal” rights in abortion. Not only to veto abortion but also to force it in the case of “I am not ready for fatherhood yet” perhaps not in the USA but it could happen in other places where abortion has been less controversial but where women’s rights are being eroded by gender identity and queer theory.

In the USA I have already heard of “community” being involved with pregnancy choices when women have been prosecuted for supposedly causing their pregnancies to end in miscarriage through substance misuse or dangerous driving or being in the wrong place at the wrong time and getting shot.

Some tiresome comments from indoctrinated women on her Instagram post… Inclusion is a cake etc.

I’m going to order her book on periods for my sons to read when they start learning about puberty. I’m a huge admirer of Milli Hill and I hope she knows there are plenty of women supporting her.