Mermaids Training...

[OttilieStonelady]

Firstly, apologies for my username I've literally just joined and I have no option to change it (android!). So, AIBU to refuse to go to this training? I'm feeling utterly exhausted by everything. I feel completely silenced at work and scared to speak out about my views for fear of being accused of transphobia etc. I was shut down by a friend re the Laurel Hubbard case, trans women are women apparently. I'm scared that if I refuse to go on this training, I'll be accused of something that just isn't true. I just find mermaids problematic and don't think they have any place in giving training for me and my colleagues. Please help me Mumsnet! I'm educating myself slowly and feel like I'm swimming against the tide sometimes.

Hello Ottilie. Welcome to the naughty step. Hopefully the debate in here might be a bit less negative than in AIBU, though there might still be a few unpleasant posters. Lots of women who understand exactly where you’re coming from though.

Pity you can’t go along and record it, so that some of the very well-educated posters here could pull it apart. That would be useful, but I imagine Mermaids will strenuously try to prevent any recordings being taken.

Do you feel up to taking any action, such as discussions with HR, or asking questions of the Mermaids folx, or would you really just prefer to find a way of avoiding the whole thing? Either position is understandable.

We had a diversity training course which said you could tell someone was gay by looking at them. Or whether they were disabled. Or what there ethnicity was. This is public sector so your money. There was a mass walkout from the course by staff.

Hi and welcome OP.

You will get loads of good advice here in the naughty corner.

What i will say is that you can often get out of some of this stuff by out woke—ing them . if you truly cannot face the Training, and don’t want to pull a sickie, perhaps you could say you can’t attend because you are questioning your gender identity and this training will be triggering at this stage in your journey. It is absolutely true, but perhaps NOT for the reasons they might think.

Ask your company if they're aware of what the CEO of Mermaids did to her son.

The organisation wasn’t always like this either - it flipper from ‘wait’ to ‘gogogogogo!’ not all that long ago.

You're among friends, OP. We know Mermaids is pedalling snake oil.

It might be useful listening to a Mermaids' training session, forwarned is forearmed so to speak.

Michael Conroy recorded a session and you can hear/read how he asked respectful and challenging questions:

part 1
docs.google.com/document/d/1aeFV0T6j4PXvm1xZBS_50oSJYV-_gO8YMoFjKjNA_9Y/edit

part 2
docs.google.com/document/d/1NDOMlo2aEpBl2ySfKdEWCb1H94tZciKiqUffjH1ku0Y/edit

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3454658-recording-of-mermaids-training

The Times by Janice Turner,
'Trans ideologists are spreading cod science
Those who defend controversial charity’s right to a £500,000 lottery grant should really listen to what it is preaching'
Saturday December 22 2018,
(extract)
"Are you a Princess Barbie jelly-baby who likes frilly dresses, high heels and takes ages to get ready? Or a GI Joe jelly-baby who wears boots and functional clothing? Did you know that your preference for pink sparkles or muddy sports isn’t down to societal expectations of boys and girls. No, it’s written in your chromosomes. And that’s science.
Well, science according to Mermaids, the charity for trans children, in a presentation understood to be given to thousands of teachers, health workers, police and politicians, and part-funded by the Department for Education.

I listened to a recording of this bizarre 90-minute training lecture and wish others could too. (continues)

On tape the Mermaids trainer tells us that humans don’t come in two sexes, male and female, sperm and ovum: “Most people still think that way,” she says airily. “But what we know now, thanks to advances in science, is that the human race has up to 42 different sets of chromosomes.”
Biological sex is on a spectrum, she says, like skin tone and (seriously) bra size. A person’s “gender identity jelly baby” has nothing to do with how we are raised: it is inside you at birth. You know you are a man because you walk like a man and like “manly” things. A listener questions why this lecture is based upon stereotypes and is told “you’re going too clever”. (continues)
archive.fo/PqipB#selection-677.0-747.371
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3457686-Janice-Turner-article-in-the-Times-about-Mermaids

There was also a recording and transcript of a subsequent training session by a school governor who was also a vicar. Apologies, I don't have links for that.

I would go, make notes and report back here OP. Do you work with children? Mermaids are specifically a youth charity, so not sure how it's relevant if they've been Brought in to help your colleagues..

OP, while making notes & reporting back would be really useful if you can stand it, don’t do anything that’s going to jeopardise your job or risk you being identified.

Pressed send too soon. It’s important to remember that we’re being watched, & some of the misogynist monitors on Twitter would be absolutely delighted to be able to work out where you work / who you are & complain to your employer.

@Whysolong7

I don’t think there is any harm on going on the training and not sure why you would refuse to go. Attend with an open mind and if it doesn’t change your views - fine.

It’s a bit bigoted and close minded to say that they have nothing to teach you. We can all learn from each other’s experiences and thoughts, even if that learning is to compound the views we already have.

I am laughing like a drain at the thought anyone would learn anything from a mermaids seminar.

@bellinisurge

We had a diversity training course which said you could tell someone was gay by looking at them. Or whether they were disabled. Or what there ethnicity was. This is public sector so your money. There was a mass walkout from the course by staff.

Oh my good lord. Can you remember which training provider that was, so we're forewarned should we come across them ourselves?

I've decided not to go...

Let us know how you get on.

Hi OP welcome and please don't apologise for airing a view that many people outside Twit have. I hope the hostility you received hasn't put you off. I have learnt so much on this board now called sex and gender. Like other posters the more I learn the more upset and cross I can get. I've done lots of little actions particularly around schools. I have one friend in real life who I can talk openly to.
I had Glo bal Butter flies train at work. I went along to hear what was being said. It was hard not to scoff but I was respectful and it just reinforced my beliefs.
Hopefully your organisation can spend the £100 saved from you not going on some other useful diversity training.

@Thelnebriati

Let us know how you get on.

Do let us know if there are any reactions to your non-attendance.

You might find the following reassuring/uplifting:

sex-matters.org/posts/updates/view-from-private-sector/