Schoolgirl, 15, ‘stopped from using toilet while on period’

[WinnieSmith]

Schoolgirl, 15, ‘stopped from using toilet while on period’ then put in seclusion

metro.co.uk/2021/05/31/schoolgirl-15-stopped-from-using-toilet-while-on-her-period-14680071/

"...we do ask that students make every effort to do this during break and lunch time to minimise disruption to lessons..."

To the teachers on this thread: Who runs your school - the staff or the sex-predator boys? The teachers on this thread seem frustrated/demoralised/defeated by these toilet and sexual assault issues.

Are you kidding me? We live in a world where sexual assault and rape is endemic and has been since humankind first walked the earth, has NEVER been eradicated from a single country by politicians, campaigners, police forces or legal systems, and you want to know why teachers can’t solve this issue? Good grief.

I went to a rough comprehensive 25 years ago, and girls were doing the “I’M ON MY PERIOD” thing to get let out of lessons then; the toilets were grim and constantly vandalised and full of bullies and smokers. For a while the school locked the toilets during lessons (you could get the key from the office in an emergency) as a result.

This ain’t a new problem, and I suspect that those who are shocked at the idea of it being hard to know when teenagers are in genuine need and when they want a break to go off and meet their friends/ smoke/ do God knows what else... went to rather naicer schools than I did.

ChloeDecker if you have that solution, I would be satisfied as a parent.

I would not expect DS now to be allowed to go to the loo in the middle of a lesson. However, when he was on various medications when loosened his control, I would have been horrified if he hadn’t been allowed.

Similarly, I would expect a girl who has had her periods for a couple of years to be able to buy the right products and change before each lesson. There I believe only very rarely a pass should be given. I think it is a massive difference with a girl who just has started her periods and still is in a bit of a shock over it and trying desperately to manage.

I do realise that it probably makes it very hard for the children who don’t have parents reinforcing habits at home ☹️. I guess pastoral teams ideally need to work together with parents in order to help pupils.

@justawoman

I went to a rough comprehensive 25 years ago, and girls were doing the “I’M ON MY PERIOD” thing to get let out of lessons then; the toilets were grim and constantly vandalised and full of bullies and smokers. For a while the school locked the toilets during lessons (you could get the key from the office in an emergency) as a result.

This ain’t a new problem, and I suspect that those who are shocked at the idea of it being hard to know when teenagers are in genuine need and when they want a break to go off and meet their friends/ smoke/ do God knows what else... went to rather naicer schools than I did.

Totally agree. Or who don't recognise that the same parents who will call to confirm that their daughters should have the right to leave any lesson at any time will also be the ones kicking off and blaming the school when it turns out that their child was using the time to smoke / bully / get pregnant...

@CorvusPurpureus the system you describe seems a sensible way that enables you to differentiate to some degree between those with genuine need as opposed to those using it as an excuse to skip part of a lesson. Especially given that menstruation is such that except in extreme cases, it is not for more than a few days in a row.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross wrote - "We live in a world where sexual assault and rape is endemic and has been since humankind first walked the earth, has NEVER been eradicated from a single country by politicians, campaigners, police forces or legal systems, and you want to know why teachers can’t solve this issue? Good grief."

I thought there may have been a very slim chance that some schools, somewhere in this world, had solved the problem of girls not being allowed to go to school toilets to fix menstruation problems, because of risk of sexual assault or rape within schools. I was not expecting teachers to solve rape for every woman and girl throughout all sectors of every society for all time. I now realise that my hope that schools could one day become rape-free zones for girls is unrealistic because ... very bad things happen outside school too. Good grief.

@vesuvia

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross wrote - "We live in a world where sexual assault and rape is endemic and has been since humankind first walked the earth, has NEVER been eradicated from a single country by politicians, campaigners, police forces or legal systems, and you want to know why teachers can’t solve this issue? Good grief."

I thought there may have been a very slim chance that some schools, somewhere in this world, had solved the problem of girls not being allowed to go to school toilets to fix menstruation problems, because of risk of sexual assault or rape within schools. I was not expecting teachers to solve rape for every woman and girl throughout all sectors of every society for all time. I now realise that my hope that schools could one day become rape-free zones for girls is unrealistic because ... very bad things happen outside school too. Good grief.

Well yes, one of the things they had done was to stop pupils from being able to go to the bathroom during class.

Any solution requires funding. Schools are very light on this at the moment.

As I said previously, 2 hours is the maximum length of time most schools expect students to last. There aren't many women who require a toilet more frequently than this to deal with periods. There are plenty of jobs that require you to last far longer than 2 hours without a toilet break.

This happened to my 13 year old daughter last week. I was pretty cross but she and the teacher came to an understanding whereby after being denied a toilet visit she asked to go to her locker. The teacher agreed but asked her to actually get something from her locker while she was gone nudge nudge wink wink.

Ridiculous situation, although I was extra cross because my daughter has medical needs that give her an anytime toilet pass regardless of periods.

Granted She did get to the loo but she's a little bolshi. A more shy or nervous child would have suffered in silence.

I have a meeting with school after half term and I will be raising this.

OverTheRubicon wrote - "Well yes, one of the things they had done was to stop pupils from being able to go to the bathroom during class."

That perhaps prevents or postpones a rape but it ignores the menstrual problem.

Why can't a girl attend a school where her risk of rape is minimised and her menstrual problem can be fixed during a class?

The answer seems to be: it's too expensive for the school...

So depressing.

What’s depressing is that you are not acknowledging/appreciating the fact that there are teenage girls who don’t tell the truth, which makes it harder for the ones that do and that there are solutions but you don’t seem to be happy with them or coming up with your own vesuvia

The answer seems to be: it's too expensive for the school...

It's too expensive for the government to fund. Not the individual schools fault.

This used to happen regularly at my high school, I'm in my thirties now. Some teachers used it as a power trip, of this I am more than certain. The worst were (at my school) PE teachers, utter dregs of society. If this happened to my daughter I would march into the school and read them the riot act. Utterly disgraceful. Let's face it, I'm a grown woman who should "be able to go in break time" yet my boss would never stop me going to the toilet

Utterly disgraceful. Let's face it, I'm a grown woman who should "be able to go in break time" yet my boss would never stop me going to the toilet

If you disappeared for 20 minutes everyday, 10 minutes after your break ended. I’ll bet your boss would say something quite quickly.

Pupils in school aren’t adults. A huge number of teenagers lie and try to bunk off lessons.

I wish we had the resources to supervise individual toilet trips during lesson times. But we just don’t have the funding.

If this happened to my daughter I would march into the school and read them the riot act
And if something bad happened to your daughter mid lesson when she and another pupils were unsupervised? Riot act again? Just with a slightly different script? Honestly, so hard for schools to do the right thing on this one.

@Scabz are you joking?!

@WhenSheWasBad

Utterly disgraceful. Let's face it, I'm a grown woman who should "be able to go in break time" yet my boss would never stop me going to the toilet

If you disappeared for 20 minutes everyday, 10 minutes after your break ended. I’ll bet your boss would say something quite quickly.

Pupils in school aren’t adults. A huge number of teenagers lie and try to bunk off lessons.

I wish we had the resources to supervise individual toilet trips during lesson times. But we just don’t have the funding.

If this happened to my daughter I would march into the school and read them the riot act
And if something bad happened to your daughter mid lesson when she and another pupils were unsupervised? Riot act again? Just with a slightly different script? Honestly, so hard for schools to do the right thing on this one.

If something bad happened to my daughter mid lesson...... erm that would not be her fault that she needed to change her san pro! Victim blaming is alive and well.

If something bad happened to my daughter mid lesson...... erm that would not be her fault that she needed to change her san pro! Victim blaming is alive and well.

No, it wouldn’t be her fault and I’m not sure how you got exactly that from what WhenSheWasBad wrote as was not written or implied at all.

@ChloeDecker

If something bad happened to my daughter mid lesson...... erm that would not be her fault that she needed to change her san pro! Victim blaming is alive and well.

No, it wouldn’t be her fault and I’m not sure how you got exactly that from what WhenSheWasBad wrote as was not written or implied at all.

The implication was that I would read another riot act. Yes I would want to know what safeguarding policies were in place, a girl needing to change her san pro is a different issue. So should a girl be denied toilet access because "something bad may happen to them"?

No Frazier - she should be kept safe. & as multiple posters have said, her safety can't be guaranteed if she's out of class, elsewhere on the campus site, & out of direct supervision.

It's a shocking idea to get your head around, I know.

Yes I would want to know what safeguarding policies were in place,

Yes, safeguarding is in place by the very fact children and teens need to be in their lessons and to encourage them to use their breaks and lunch as much as possible. Where this is not possible, to politely request permission (which reading the OP’s article, the teen did not do), with judgement to be made by the staff member (for example of a pupil has already just asked to go to, it’s quite common to ask if the pupil can wait until the other child comes back. No power trips in sight (apart from the odd bolshy teenager perhaps! )

The free for all at any time/anywhere that many are advocating on this thread just doesn’t work.

It doesn’t have to be a fight/riot or a trip to the papers. Just some common sense from all sides (teacher/pupil/parent). Sometimes we have to wait to go, sometimes we don’t.

@CorvusPurpureus

No Frazier - she should be kept safe. & as multiple posters have said, her safety can't be guaranteed if she's out of class, elsewhere on the campus site, & out of direct supervision.

It's a shocking idea to get your head around, I know.

Genuinely cannot tell if you're being sarcastic or not (many apologies if not, I struggle to tell over a screen) but to me it seems that girls issues are being pushed aside incase of harm? How wrong is that! These young women are just getting used to the world and becoming a woman and they are essentially being told to keep quiet and only access toilets when there are witnesses/friends?!

So should a girl be denied toilet access because "something bad may happen to them"

Most teachers on this thread have said they would allow a girl who says she is menstruating to go to the toilet.

The teachers are just trying to get across the incredibly difficult balancing act of managing a school of up to 2000 teenagers. Some of whom...

Play truant by lying about needing the toilet
Bully other pupils in the toilets out of lessons
Assault other pupils in the toilets out of lessons
Self harm in the toilets
Vandalise the toilets in class time
Arrange drug deals in the toilets for county lines gangs

As a teacher I have a duty of care to the 30 odd pupils I am currently teaching. I can generally prevent any of those things happening by or to the pupils when they are in my class.
The second they leave my classroom unsupervised, I’m a bit stuck. It puts teachers and schools in a really tricky position.

No one is saying that girls are being pushed aside due to periods. They're saying that there aren't the resources to staff a supervised toilet all day every day. Schools are responsible for the students in their care and schools recognise that toilets during lesson need to be avoided as much as possible because they are a safeguarding risk. Like a PP said, I can keep them safe in my classroom, I can't guarantee their safety if they are wandering round school.

Has anyone responded to the 2 hour timing most schools go by? This is enough for the majority of women to deal with san pro. Female teachers manage. It's not a total toilet ban all day.

Soooooo fucking glad I left teaching right now.

I appreciate it's not an all day toilet ban but when you're just getting used to periods it's easy to be caught short, flood etc. So essentially high school students can only be kept safe during lesson time by either their teacher, or a non existent hall monitor? It still seems to me that the students that need to use the toilet during lesson time are being penalised by some students that use the lesson pass to take the piss/bully?