My thread has just been deleted

[thenonsensepotter]

Are we now not allowed to talk about our personal feelings on feminist issues?

For context, I asked how people on here deal with the frustration of the constant issues women are facing right now and our rights and opinions being censored.

Was a reason given?

Depends if you used certain banned words or phrases which are perfectly normal elsewhere to do with mountains or religions or ....I forget the others... or generalising or being specific.

"Not in the spirit of the site."
I'm assuming it's because I used the T word and referenced a certain culture by name.
But if anyone can still give me some advice on how to channel my frustration into something proactive I'd be very grateful.

What’s the T word?

I am finding more and more threads being deleted for reasons I don’t understand. I am guessing that other MN posters don’t agree with what’s being said and report it?

^ something like that.

This will go too because it is a TAAT.

I deal with it very badly. I am constantly angry and feel more oppressed than I did in my 20s. At least then I thought there might be change for the better :(

@Sleeplessem

What’s the T word?

I suspect it rhymes with 'surf'

Hi, OP.

Frustrating when things get deleted. There are the rules, and there is 'the spirit' thing, too. Harder to grasp as it isn't really defined. And yes, lots of people monitor this board [waving] and report posts.

Over time, it's very informative to see what gets reported and deleted quickly. Some things we're really not allowed to discuss. You have to ask why it's so dangerous for women to talk amongst themselves, really.

Anyway, when posting, I try to keep my focus on women (and girls, and children generally). This is both more positive, constructive and avoids reports/deletions.

For proactive stuff, have you tried looking for a local ReSisters group? Written to your MP? Have a look at Fair play for women. There are a lot of actions, from tiny to middling to big, that can make a difference.

I thought that on a feminist board we would be allowed to express opinions. Yes it might hurt the feelings of another (very small) section of society but it doesn't seem to matter that the feelings of half of society are hurt.
My thread being deleted just seems to reinforce my growing experiences that we don't matter. And one of the other things I said was how much I worry about my children when they begin to access social media as they get older. I just want to do something about it.

Thank you @ArabellaScott, I will screenshot your message in case this does get deleted.

Sorry to hear your thread got deleted OP.

Best thing I can advise is to take action, whether that be writing to your MP, stickering, writing to your school if you have kids, donate to crowdfunders, go to speakers corner with Standing for Women and complain to the BBC, The Guardian, or any company throwing women under the bus. There are no shortage of reasons to complain I find I just don't have the time! More can be found at Trangender Trend, Safe Schools Alliance, LGB Alliance, Sex Matters, Filia, etc.

Doing something has helped me to feel far less bleak about the situation and it is also good to find people in real life to talk to if you can. Check out ReSisters.

There are other threads on action you can take so do search for those as this thread will probably go too due to TAAT as PPs have pointed out.

That's great, thank you @OhHolyJesus. I would like to start being more proactive on this board, I just don't feel that I'm informed enough about policies and the political side and I don't want to come across as ignorant. I just know that the more I'm seeing in the media as well as ridiculous dated ideologies with people I know the more angry I am getting.

I'm sorry to hear that, @YetAnotherSpartacus. Hopefully some of the advice on here will be helpful to you! Feel free to PM me if you'd like to have someone to talk to about it.

There is no way you will come across as ignorant! I worried initially about writing in and getting my thoughts across but we're not all academics with years of experience, just write from the heart. I'm sure MPs prefer brief points rather than essays anyway. You don't need any special education or writing skills to show you care about women and children.

Spend some time reading threads here, honestly there is no perfect way to approach this.

If you haven't found it yet look up the break it down for me thread and Google search with Mumsnet for pretty much any topic you want to learn about. It's all here.

(The public consultations have published responses which can be a good into as well.)

@thenonsensepotter

For context, I asked how people on here deal with the frustration of the constant issues women are facing right now and our rights and opinions being censored.

You might like the site Ovarit. You need an access code to join but you can DM the mods on twitter for one.

ovarit.com/

twitter.com/WomenAreOvarit

It's good to always bear in mind one's limitations and remember that this is a huge subject encompassing many areas - nobody knows all of it, nor could they. Anyway, you can read up on various parts of the issue, or if there are ones that particularly interest you, focus on just a few strands.

Asking questions is really important - we should all be asking lots of questions on topics of safeguarding, children's health, women's safety, women's rights, the law, policy, media representation, sexism, lobbying, etc. So even just saying 'we need to talk' or asking people for answers on some of the questions raised is ENORMOUSLY important.

We have successfully swept away the 'no debate' stance, which stood for years. It's still hard to raise the issues (witness Scottish police calling a woman in for questioning this week) but the more women who say they care about women's rights, the harder it is for them to try and pick off anyone mentioning 'feminism' or 'sex based rights' (both of these phrases have been called 'dog whistle transphobia', see Patrick Harvie in the Scottish parliament, for example).

It should tell you something that anyone referring to women or feminism or females or 'sex' is called transphobic.

I didn't see your original thread, but one thing I find helpful to destress is angry crochet.

See this thread for models
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4186986-Theres-been-a-sticker

@thenonsensepotter

I thought that on a feminist board we would be allowed to express opinions. Yes it might hurt the feelings of another (very small) section of society but it doesn't seem to matter that the feelings of half of society are hurt. My thread being deleted just seems to reinforce my growing experiences that we don't matter. And one of the other things I said was how much I worry about my children when they begin to access social media as they get older. I just want to do something about it.

You can’t speak for half of society. My feelings aren’t hurt. Don’t speak for me or for anyone else thank you very much.

You can’t speak for half of society.

Way to miss the point

Stickering is very cathartic and so is donating to crowdfunders.

And yet, people frequently do feel free to speak for half of society. "Mixed sex hospital wards are great", they say glibly, speaking on behalf of me, my mother, and every woman in the country, without ever pondering that maybe they don't have the right to give away other people's rights.

I'm half-expecting to come home one day and find a female trans activist in my house, lending out the contents of my bookcase to passers-by in the street!

You can’t speak for half of society. My feelings aren’t hurt. Don’t speak for me or for anyone else thank you very much.

Maybe you belong to the other half then? I believe this is how maths works.

@YetAnotherSpartacus

^ something like that.

This will go too because it is a TAAT.

I deal with it very badly. I am constantly angry and feel more oppressed than I did in my 20s. At least then I thought there might be change for the better :(

Same.

Tell me more about stickering.
I need a new hobby.