School newsletter tells girls how to bind

[ErrolTheDragon]

There's a piece in the Times today ... parents not happy at the content of a newsletter produced by the 6th formers

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/nonsuch-high-school-sixth-formers-told-girls-11-how-to-bind-breasts-k7slvrbkr?shareToken=a84af706d3b638e2ea3d2d53ea04e29d

@SplodgeWaddler

As a very recent ex-parent of the school here’s my perspective on this...

From experience, I know there are some power hungry parents within the school who will never be happy and actually end up causing instability within the school....when my daughter first joined they dismissed the head teacher for messaging a sixth former, however the sixth former just happened to be the daughter of one of the governors who I believe is also an employment lawyer - so basically it seems to me that they dismissed for other reasons but caught him out on a technicality. Gross misconduct. The school has an issue with high staff-turnover. Most of the teachers are good, only a few ever came across as being truly inspiring (one of these was also dismissed though ) however one member of staff is a know tyrant, I have no idea why she’s still there. None of it makes sense. To be honest, the school is a mess probably because of this constant meddling from parents. The school has always had a very volatile air about it, as if it could explode at any moment.

Gay, trans, bi, pan etc etc is quite a big thing amongst teens in all schools at the moment, I’m sure all parents of teens who are reading this thread will agree. So I believe the newsletter was genuinely intended to be helpful and informative. If girls are fully aware of the risks then perhaps it’ll put them off of actually doing it?

The only reason this article has come about in the first place is because some of these control-freak parents don’t like the idea that their little darling may be tempted to partake in such activities but what they fail to realise is that it’s happening everywhere, in all schools. It’s currently a big thing for teenagers. Personally I’d rather my daughter was fully informed about these things so she can make a fully enlightened decision that’s right for her.

This is all a bit of a non-issue for me to be honest. I’m just glad my daughter is now out of this and is now in a much more stable educational environment.

Oh well that's ok then, why didn't you mention that all the kids are doing it, you don't want to be left out. When's the newsletter on how to do drugs safely coming out then so the kids can make an enlightened decision on what they'd like to try? I certainly wouldn't want to be a control freak parent taking all the fun out of life. I feel for your daughter, expensive therapy sessions coming up in the future.

Why on earth would a gender nonconforming young person need full counselling ? hmm

Okay fine, if you don’t want gender questioning youth to access counselling then that’s your own weird call.

Gender non-conforming is not gender questioning. Gender non-conforming for girls just means not conforming to gender stereotypes. Why on earth do you think girls who don't conform to regressive sexist stereotypes should be counselled?

some of these control-freak parents don’t like the idea that their little darling may be tempted to partake in such activities but what they fail to realise is that it’s happening everywhere

Oh dear! You mean some parents are wanting age appropriate information to be taught and given at school, probably to support the balanced and age appropriate information that they have probably already given their child.

Unlike, information that is perceived as ‘righteous’ by a sixth former without safeguarding training. And links that lead to information that is not age appropriate for the youngest members of the audience.

Our teens have enough on their plate dealing with all this information being given out by untrained influencers on social media and their friends, without someone from sixth form getting involved with good intentions. And rather poor delivery.

I hope it also mentioned that there is an age of consent, that the ‘cool guy/gal a couple of years older than me’ you are chatting to online is more than likely a weird 50 year old bloke in his mums attic, sending saucy photos to anyone is a bloody bad idea, that some people will try to coerce you into sex (so stand up and say no of it’s not right), porn isn’t same as real life sex, what is abuse within a relationship...

It’s as if safeguarding wasn’t their first concern.

@SplodgeWaddler

But yes, while we’re on it, if they’re fully informed about chem sex then they’d probably choose not to do it! Likewise if they’re fully informed about the risks of casual sex, they’d choose to wait for the right person. We can’t wrap them up in cotton wool forever stampyfeet - they’ll be adults before we know it and need to be equipped to make theirs decisions for themselves.

For context, at school in the 80s I was fully informed about the risks of heroin and sharing dirty needles.....Nope. Never done heroin.

There's a difference with that and breast binding. When we were at school in the 80s we were the informed about the risks of taking heroin so we wouldn't do it, not given tips on how to do it 'safely' which implies it's something that's ok to do as long as you follow the instructions (which is a load of shit).

Trixie78 I feel for your daughter, expensive therapy sessions coming up in the future. What the hell, seriously?! - you know nothing about my daughter, that’s actually hilarious....surely it can’t cost more that you paid for tuition😜 😆😂🤣

But in case you’re concerned, my daughter is absolutely fine - thank you x

Some parents want to parent rather than being in thrall to their kids shock!

"For context, at school in the 80s I was fully informed about the risks of heroin and sharing dirty needles.....Nope. Never done heroin."

My older brother and I also went to school in the 80s and were fully informed of the dangers of heroin.

I've never been interested in drugs but he went from sniffing glue at a very young age to becoming a full on heroin addict which affected all our lives in so many ways including a 10 year stretch in prison for armed robbery and ultimately ended in his death from liver cancer caused by hep c.

I would never have been interested in drugs whether I was informed or not. It's just not my personality.
Knowing his personality, I truly believe being informed helped him to go down that route. I think it excited him.

The only reason this article has come about in the first place is because some of these control-freak parents don’t like the idea that their little darling may be tempted to partake in such activities but what they fail to realise is that it’s happening everywhere, in all schools. It’s currently a big thing for teenagers. Personally I’d rather my daughter was fully informed about these things so she can make a fully enlightened decision that’s right for her.

All kinds of things happen in schools everywhere and find popularity amongst teens, drugs, unsafe sex, self harm, eating tide pods for social media kudos...the list goes on. I don't expect a school just to shrug and turn a blind eye though.

The argument that it's happening everywhere sounds like the equivalent of kids saying "everyone else's Mum says it's okay". I can't get behind the idea that just because breast binding (as one example) is currently popular with teen girls that it isn't harmful and shouldn't be addressed by adults with responsibility.

For context, at school in the 80s I was fully informed about the risks of heroin and sharing dirty needles.....Nope. Never done heroin.

Heroin being a class A drug with very well known detrimental effects on those addicted to it, whereas breast binding is presented as perfectly acceptable with no adverse effects at all. Odd comparison.

But yes, while we’re on it, if they’re fully informed about chem sex then they’d probably choose not to do it! Likewise if they’re fully informed about the risks of casual sex, they’d choose to wait for the right person. We can’t wrap them up in cotton wool forever stampyfeet - they’ll be adults before we know it and need to be equipped to make theirs decisions for themselves.

The newsletter was emailed to all children in the school. Age eleven girls do not need to know about chemsex and fisting. RSE discussions should be led by adults whether parents/carers or school staff.

I can't get behind the idea that just because breast binding (as one example) is currently popular with teen girls that it isn't harmful and shouldn't be addressed by adults with responsibility.

Well no, no more than you'd assume self-harm wasn't harmful because loads of teenage girls do that too.

Basically the way I see it is Nonsuch parents have three choices:

1. Send your child to non-grammar (you’ll save a fortune on tuition!) but these issues may then be worse. Or other issues maybe...Drugs? Fighting? Bullying?
2. Pay for private school.
3. Stop trying to destabilise your child’s school because they don’t fully represent your personal beliefs. Be grateful for the education that they are lucky enough to receive. Just because your child may or may not have even read the information, it doesn’t mean they’re going to become a breast-binding transsexual over night. And if this is your child, wouldn’t you still love them anyway?

It grooms girls for self-abuse.
The breast binding is one form.

The chem sex is another - which I have just read about. It seems to me it is not only dangerous chemically but also sets someone up for being oblivious to what is happening to them, accepting of anything or anyone. A sort of rape by chemical consent. Huge self -harm. As for fisting, I can’t begin to imagine how much that might hurt someone.

To hear about it from older girls from age 11 means it will seem the norm. Porn must add to the horror they see for their futures.

If I were young enough I would seriously consider not having a child to be brought into all of this.

Basically the way I see it is Nonsuch parents have three choices:

Parents/carers have a fourth choice which is to engage with the Safeguarding issues demonstrated by the contents and distribution of this newsletter and work with the school in order that all the girls receive accurate, age appropriate information.

Just because your child may or may not have even read the information, it doesn’t mean they’re going to become a breast-binding transsexual over night. And if this is your child, wouldn’t you still love them anyway?

This is a non-sequitur. Would you say "it doesn’t mean they’re going to become a drug addict over night. And if this is your child, wouldn’t you still love them anyway"?

People are concerned for their children's future health, because they love their children.

I will love my children, whatever they do, but that exact love means I'm not going to be blasé about anything that impinges on their lung function, bone density (ever seen early onset osteoporosis? I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy), blood pressure, or later fertility.

Not sure I’d be happy if my kids brought this ‘literature’ home.
Where’s the advice for stuffing for boys and girls?
Where’s the advice on how to tuck for boys?
What about feet binding? And fake prosthetic plastic to change the way your face looks?
Why not sign up to a local
Plastic surgeon and offer money off vouchers?
Totally inappropriate. Where were the adults and teachers who should have been proof checking this garbage?? No wonder kids say they are confused. This is literally what they get shoved down their throat WVERY DAY. Sexuality, gender, religion ( because of other things that keep happening). No wonder our kids are confused. This needs to stop. Have information available to kids if it’s needed. But all these 6th formers are doing are forcing kids to Claim to be different. There are so many variations because no one is allowed to be the ‘same’ anymore. This madness needs to stop.

So I believe the newsletter was genuinely intended to be helpful and informative.

Helpful would include information about the dangers of binding, chemsex, fisting etc and crucially the importance of consent, and it would have been age appropriate so not sent to 11 year olds

As it is, its grooming young girls to accept as normal some very harmful practices

@SplodgeWaddler

But yes, while we’re on it, if they’re fully informed about chem sex then they’d probably choose not to do it! Likewise if they’re fully informed about the risks of casual sex, they’d choose to wait for the right person. We can’t wrap them up in cotton wool forever stampyfeet - they’ll be adults before we know it and need to be equipped to make theirs decisions for themselves.

For context, at school in the 80s I was fully informed about the risks of heroin and sharing dirty needles.....Nope. Never done heroin.

As I said upthread, you might well want to explain (illegal and dangerous) practices like chemsex to sixth formers. However, to young pre-teen girls who haven't even started their periods? Really?

1. Send your child to non-grammar (you’ll save a fortune on tuition!) but these issues may then be worse. Or other issues maybe...Drugs? Fighting? Bullying?

Well I have my child at one of those awful non grammars. (It's called a comprehensive btw) and I assure you that it isn't worse, as for drugs that is often worse in private schools, and schools in areas of wealth as they have money. At lot of my DC's peers are in families that live hand to mouth, hardly the spare cash for getting drugs.

I will love my children, whatever they do, but that exact love means I'm not going to be blasé about anything that impinges on their lung function, bone density (ever seen early onset osteoporosis? I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy), blood pressure, or later fertility.

This

@SplodgeWaddler

Basically the way I see it is Nonsuch parents have three choices:

1. Send your child to non-grammar (you’ll save a fortune on tuition!) but these issues may then be worse. Or other issues maybe...Drugs? Fighting? Bullying?
2. Pay for private school.
3. Stop trying to destabilise your child’s school because they don’t fully represent your personal beliefs. Be grateful for the education that they are lucky enough to receive. Just because your child may or may not have even read the information, it doesn’t mean they’re going to become a breast-binding transsexual over night. And if this is your child, wouldn’t you still love them anyway?

Or

1. Hold your school to it’s objective to deliver the highest level of education including following strict safeguarding principles in ALL communication to its students.

Not quite sure why you feel ensuring the school adheres to safeguarding principles and also the Dept. of Ed. guidelines for ensuring a balanced and factual education around sex and gender is ‘destabilizing’ your child’s school.

Why is that? Why do you think that providing balanced information is destabilizing to the school when it is actually what is required under the guidelines released late last year.

Or did you miss that announcement? You don’t seem very informed about what any UK school should be delivering and how.

October 2020 Department of Education statutory guidelines for schools concerning sex/gender identity and sexual orientation:
www.transgendertrend.com/department-for-education-rse-guidance-schools/