pressure to get married

[darkknighty]

Does anyone else feel this way? Both DP and I are very content not being married but the pressure from "outsiders" (family, co workers and friends) borders on pestering. Neither of us are religious. What's the point?

You only need to spend five minutes on the Relationships part of the forum to understand what protections marriage offers

I don't get pestered by anyone, but there are reasons for that. People who I've met fairly recently tend to assume that I am married to my partner because of our long term relationship, cohabiting, children and so on. If it ever comes up, I mention it, and haven't had anyone question it. I think once you've had multiple children and have lived together for many years, people stop assuming you'll get married. When I was younger I was fairly vociferous about not wanting to, so anyone I've known long term wouldn't ask me about it either.

I am aware of the differences between a married couple and an unmarried couple in terms of things like finances/status, and have either mitigated them or they aren't an issue for us. It's worth pointing out that many (most?) people who do get married aren't having a religious wedding but are doing it for financial/legal/etc reasons and/or for social/cultural reasons.

I'm a lifelong atheist and Im married. I dont think religion has anything to do with it.

get married or dont, but do be clear what the legal contract marriage confers and what it doesnt and if you dont get married, take steps to protect yourself as PP said

This is a good summary of the legal and financial implications of marriage compared to being unmarried partners.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

I was single for ages and I think my family got bored of my non-compliance and focussed on other relatives so by the time I did meet my partner later in life (mid thirties) they'd already written me off.

Friends and colleagues seem especially fascinated that my partner and I have been going out for years but do not live together. There is a constant sense of "but why isn't your life exactly like mine?"

A Nigerian colleague questioned me quite intensely about it once; I was rescued by a British Asian colleague who said "she's white, she's not under the same family pressure..."

If it's not marriage, it's a baby, a second baby, a bigger house, a new car, kids at Oxbridge, grandkids etc. Best to disappoint them early on as I did...