Britain's youngest trans child

[poshme]

Article in daily fail (sorry)

4 year old female twin says she is a boy (like her twin brother) and expresses interest in firefighters & police officers & doesn't like pigtails.

So the parents are transitioning their 4 year old and saying they have grown up conversations about gender with them.

Sigh.

I do so worry about the future for children who are "transitioned" at such mind-bogglingly young ages by their parents after saying typically toddlerish things. My own DB was blessed with two older sister, and innocently enquired of our DM to know when he was going to turn into a girl. He'd deduced that's what had happened to us, and from his point of view and extremely limited knowledge of life, it made a sort of sense.

Now take on board the fanfare and publicity around what are essentially cosmetic and sartorial changes to present this child as male: haircut, clothes, toys, name, pronouns. Nothing that will prevent a female puberty kicking in within 5 - 8 years.

Say the child, as they grow older, emerges, thinking, from all this hoo-ha and decides they want to resume life as a girl. Look at what the parents now have to lose. Instead of being publicised, fawned-over on national TV and living a high profile, minor celebrity life as brave, amazing, dedicated parents of an exceptional child, they emerge as foolish dupes at best; child abusers at worst.

What pressure might there be on a de-transitioning child to keep quiet and carry on?

The fact that mainstream media is giving airtime to this is scary. It's very much the Emperor's New Clothes. Why is no one standing up and saying "she's a girl"?

I know a child who was transitioned at 4 (yes, in the UK). They are 7 or 8 now and you have never seen a more miserable looking child, it's heart breaking. They also asked the child every day if they were a girl or a boy - when she said girl (she is) they asked again the next day, and the next, until she said boy and they were all over it and stopped asking. To give the NHS credit, they told them the child had no concept of gender beyond stereotypes and to try role playing etc, so off they went to Mermaids who would understand them better.

This child is so clearly unhappy, but the dad would prefer to spend his time sending nasty emails policing the pronouns of 4 yos than actually stepping back to look at what he's done.

They are also a very sexist family - only pink and sparkly or grey and superheroes to choose from, nothing in the middle - so pick a side.

On the flip side of that, I taught a cutie last year who was a natal boy. He loved Moana, nail varnish, sparkles etc. Credit where credit is due dad didn't try and get him into boys things or ',trans' him, he just allowed him to be who he is. Low income, poorly educated man and yet the love and understanding of his own children was blinding.
In contrast I know another little boy in the same year group who always went straight to the princess box. Dad furious with the school for letting him dress up and was discouraged. Said little boy is very sad soul now.
Let's let children be children.

They are also a very sexist family - only pink and sparkly or grey and superheroes to choose from, nothing in the middle - so pick a side.

If it weren't so heartbreaking that this is happening to real children it would almost be laughable at how accurate that statement is in all of these cases of young children transitioning.

Years ago, there used to be a thing here where people would post in threads aimed specifically at others expecting babues in the same month: "June 2006 babies", that kind of thing. Maybe they still do, and I just don't notice any more.

Anyway, on one thread I used to frequent (under a different name) I remember a particular poster who had a lot of daughters already and was desperate for a son. Baby was born and was female. By the time this child was 3 (maybe 4), this same poster was posting about her trans son of that age. I

I found it very disturbing.

I knew a little tacker once who was painted into a corner by a questioning adult figure: a headteacher in this case. Child had some marks on his back that were spotted when he was changing for PE. Teacher was concerned and alerted head who was safeguarding lead. Head looked at the marks and interpreted them as injuries from a beating with a belt. The child said he had no idea what they were. Head proceeded to question and harangue child in a persistent and leading way, i.e. "I know daddy has used his belt to hit you, you mustn't lie about it."

Child eventually admits that yes, the marks are from Daddy's belt. Headteacher then calls mum and SS and they all meet up at the child's GP. GP takes one look and declares the marks to be unmistakeable insect bites. Everyone goes home.

Mother to child: Why did you tell headteacher daddy hit you with his belt?!

Child to mother: I knew I wasn't going to get out of that office until I agreed with what head said.

We need to listen hard to what children tell us but we also need to make sure we aren't trapping children into telling us what they might think we want to hear.

Let children play. Let children be children. Let children breathe. Let children learn and grow.

I noticed the mum said to the barber that her child was trans when he was cutting the littl'uns hair. Reminds me of the old joke, how do you know if someone is vegan?

They'll take umbrage at their diet being made fun of by lumping them in with crazy trans? 🌱

That should be Tra's

Crikey, the mother said in the hairdressers of the long hair in ringlets "Stormy's previous look".

Toddlers don't have a "look".

How absolutely bizzare. What is going on when 4 year olds have a "look" and have to go to trendy cool hair dressers?

DH had gorgeous ringlets when he was that age.

DS not DH.

At 4 my DD was utterly sweet, but quite wrong about all kinds of human categories. Her aunts with no kids were her "sisters". Her aunt with kids was "her mom." Her uncle's were "daddy's friends" and older females were all "grandmas." Funny, there was only one "grandpa." Teenage girls were all "teachers."

She was at times a bird, a mermaid and a fairy. She also believed babies were purchased at the store and the idea of one being in a woman's belly was "oh so silly. That's NOT true!"

Imagine if we accepted and then believed her take on all these things - that her "truth" was accurate!

@Tibtom

It always amazes me how advanced the reported language of these 2,3 or 4 year olds is.

It's just like when you hear of (or see videos of) a small child going on a political rant. Very obviously been fed their parents' views.

My ds had long blonde ringlets at that age. He also liked wearing his sister's clothes. Did that mean he was identifying as a girl? And I failed to validate him 😲

I had one that filled a pink sparkly dolls pram with toy cars and pushed it around. Was he identifying as non binary?

@NewlyGranny

I knew a little tacker once who was painted into a corner by a questioning adult figure: a headteacher in this case. Child had some marks on his back that were spotted when he was changing for PE. Teacher was concerned and alerted head who was safeguarding lead. Head looked at the marks and interpreted them as injuries from a beating with a belt. The child said he had no idea what they were. Head proceeded to question and harangue child in a persistent and leading way, i.e. "I know daddy has used his belt to hit you, you mustn't lie about it."

Child eventually admits that yes, the marks are from Daddy's belt. Headteacher then calls mum and SS and they all meet up at the child's GP. GP takes one look and declares the marks to be unmistakeable insect bites. Everyone goes home.

Mother to child: Why did you tell headteacher daddy hit you with his belt?!

Child to mother: I knew I wasn't going to get out of that office until I agreed with what head said.

We need to listen hard to what children tell us but we also need to make sure we aren't trapping children into telling us what they might think we want to hear.

Let children play. Let children be children. Let children breathe. Let children learn and grow.

Great post.

I'd be interested to know how the enthusiasts here would feel about the situation if this four year old had, instead, declared that she believed strongly in God and wanted to be a nun?

Sign her up immediately for holy orders, encourage her to take her vows?

Or wait and see?

My children like playing hospitals. Should anyone like an operation to validate their feelings in this just pm me.

@quiteathome

My children like playing hospitals. Should anyone like an operation to validate their feelings in this just pm me.

So if the child decided - at 4 - that they are XYZ and the parent says ‘no’, what how can they argue this?

Parents don't need to say no, but they don't need to say yes either. They just need to let the child be themselve. And you don't need to pigeonhole your child into a trans label or even a boy/ girl label for that.

Fuck's sake. My 4 year old boy watched Barbie movies the other day, and picked out pink socks. Should we begin 'transitioning'?
Another of my sons loved shiny jewellery at 4-6 years and is now a strapping heterosexual 19 y/old.