DD wants a breast reduction.

[cinammonbuns]

Her breast are not too big for her body, they do not cause her back pain and she would not be able to get on on the NHS. She says she wants a reduction because she feels disgusted when she looks at how big her boobs are.

She is a 32EE and a size 8 top and bottom for reference. She is 18, 2nd year uni and has an internship this summer which would fully cover the cost of the procedure. She has said it’s been bothering her for years and has no issue of it causes her to be unable to breastfeed as she doesn’t want children.
I think she would like to go down to a B to C.
Is there any links or advice I can give her. I am happy for her to do it if she considers all the risks but I know the plastic surgery regret rate is quite high so I want to inform her of all the risks.

I was a similar size and had a breast reduction at 21 and I do not regret it for one minute. I’m taken more seriously, I’m not referred to as “the girl with the big tits”, clothes look better and nobody asks me if I have had a boob job anymore.

A reduction won’t reduce her to a B cup because she will still have he same width. I have a different shape and I don’t have overt cleavage anymore. I also have scars, but at long as expectations are managed I honestly don’t think it would be a terrible decision. Mine was also funded by the NHS so I don’t see why hers wouldn’t be?

As far as BF in the future was concerned I also didn’t care. My friend who had a breast reduction did breast feed her baby, but supplemented as her supply wasn’t enough.

Can’t really understand why you have posted this under feminism though ?

If she is wider in the bottom getting a reduction may make her less proportionate.

The clothing thing is difficult, fashion tends to show clothing on women who have a body shape that is unusal. Clothes hand quite elegantly on women with coat-hanger like bodies.

It can be more difficult to learn how to dress a curvier body, at 18 I hadn't even figured out that was the reason clothes I picked out didn't work.

I kind of hate that young women now get this message that cosmetic surgery is a good solution to these things. It's so different from the message we got which was, whatever the fashion industry and Hollywood say, there are lots of different attractive body types.

Not being able to breast feed is a terribly weak argument. Some posted No 18 year old likes their body which is even worse.

At her age I was a 32A and very glad to be that size- large breasts were so Barbara Windsor/ Carry On films. I'm now a C or a D I'd prefer to be smaller so she has my sympathy.

I’m going to go down a very different tack. She’s a size 8 now but when her metabolism slows down ( natural of most people with age) will she then think a B or a C look small compared to all her wobbly bits? Because it’s not just a case of let’s get implants to go back up in size.

I had breast reduction surgery aged 22 after 4 years of chasing the ope on the NHS - so when I was 18. It's the best thing I ever did - no regrets 20 years later. There are so many benefits - being able to wear well fitting clothes, it being easier to run, better balance, not being treated like a bimbo, far fewer unpleasant sleazy comments, massively increased confidence - I am so glad I went down that route. Scars will fade in a few years. I never lost nipple sensitivity and function but even if I had, it would still have been a small price to pay.

Just came on to say that my uni flatmate had this done at 22. She still says it changed her life, 25 years later. Her reduced breasts looked just as good as the original ones and felt amazing according to her. Her nipples were relocated with very little scarring and no loss of sensitivity. My super-sporty and active friend hadn't thought her breasts' size had impacted on her capacity to exercise etc, but felt a big difference in posture, balance and weight-distribution / centre of gravity once they were reduced.
I would generally urge caution around cosmetic surgery, but having seen how successful this operation can be, I think your DD may be onto something.

Please look at the boob or bust website - there is no such thing as a cup size without attaching it to a back size. A 32e is same cup volume as 30f or 28g (which is very likely what your dd is if m&s put her in a 32e...especially if she’s a size 8).

As regards the reduction tbh I would encourage her to wait another couple of years - I’ve already said to dd that I will find one for her after university when her body shape has completely stabilized..it would be a shame to do it and have them continue developing for another few years.

But she might well find the right size bra will really help her (bizarrely) look smaller!

Pottering, how bizarre; my post about my friend's experience is so like yours, right down to choices of phrase!
I'm so pleased it was a good decision for you too :)

My main concern would be that as she ages, her breast size may continue to increase and she may find herself unhappy again. I would be sure to ask the doctor about growth post reduction when done at such a young age.

I do understand her motivation. Having large breasts is not easy.

I suffer from back pain and pinched nerves from my H cup sized breasts, but I can’t bring myself to have surgery because I have been large chested since I was a young teen and I think surgically altering my body would mess with my head.

It’s not about ‘hating breasts’, it’s about feeling more comfortable, not being harassed, and not getting back pain when she’s older. If she’s researched it, I can’t see the problem. Everyone I know who’s had it done has been so glad they did it and sometimes massive boobs can look deceptively smaller. If she’s a 28J or something, I can 100% understand why she’d want to do it.
For context, I am about a 32DD but am 3 inches taller and weigh 20 kilos more than your DD. My boobs look in proportion. If she’s a larger size than that but is slight, then they are probably uncomfortably big.

Not sure why it’s a feminist issue though!

I wouldn't worry about the breastfeeding side of things, formula seems to work fine for the many women who chose not to, and it's not a barrier to having children if she changes her mind.

I actually think that if she has felt this was way for a while and is likely to get it done one day anyway then she might as well go for it now. I know 3 women who had reductions and never looked back. Big boobs can start to cause back problems.

On breastfeeding - 81% of women in the UK initiate breastfeeding.

I don't have any advice but I don't believe she can be a size 8 top and a 32E bra size. It's far far more likely she is a much smaller back size and correspondingly much bigger cup size - size 8 tops in correct fitting bras would typically be around a 28 back.

I’m a size 8 and a 32ff, if I was a 28gg it wouldn’t change the size of them or how I felt. I have always wanted mine reduced to around a D so that they aren’t flat but so that clothes are more flattering.

I would like to be able to wear nice shirts or blouses without them either gaping or having a vest underneath. I’ve always wanted to buy pretty bras from normal shops but I’ve been stuck buying really expensive ugly ones all of my life. Half of the clothes I like are too tight so it squished them up and I look awful and the other half I look like I’m wearing a bin bag because I’m so out of proportion.

If she wants the surgery then I wouldn’t try and put her off!

I looked into a breast reduction about 10 years ago. I'm a 32 J and due to also having back problems, managed to getNHS funding. However, I did lots of research including meeting with the consultant and finally decided against the surgery.
My reasons for wanting the reduction were mainly medical (back problems) but as my issue is lower back, the consultant suggested it would have a minimal effect.

However, in my research I heard almost equal positive and negative results including complications following surgery and a friend whose breasts just returned to the same size. I felt the risk was too great and in the end declined the offer.

I must say that everybody I spoke to directly who had the surgery said it was for psychological reasons. I thought that was quite sad. The staring and comments can be quite overwhelming at times. Personally doesn't bother me but I can certainly understand why others, especially young girls would rather opt for surgery than live with big boobs.
I feel for your daughter but initially recommend a visit to bravissimo for bras ( and maybe clothes - it's the only place I can buy a dress). I love their swimsuits too but they're not cheap.

Both my MIL and SIL had breast reductions a few years ago. SIL was in her mid twenties and was very happy with the results at the time. Her weight has fluctuated a lot since then and her breasts are extremely large again. When she loses weight, they don't seem to shrink at the same rate as the rest of her, which is exactly what she used to say about them before she had the reduction.

MIL was in her sixties when she had her breast reduction. She doesn't regret it from the point of view of size, but at the time she had a very bad infection as a result of the operation. She had three prescriptions of increasingly strong antibiotics and was in a lot of pain and was exhausted for several months. She also had to have some follow up surgery done. One of her breasts is apparently quite misshapen, but she says that at her age she doesn't mind so much and is just happy to feel lighter and freer. I can't imagine an 18yo feeling that way though, if things went wrong. It's such a very big decision.

I had a breast reduction and uplift 4 years ago, aged 37. Was the best thing I’ve ever done. Would I have done it at 18, no because I liked having big boobs then. As I got older, they looked matronly. The op and recovery were fine, but it took a good 6 weeks to feel well again. Now the scars are almost invisible and no loss of sensation. I went from a G to a B cup. I waited until I was done having kids as another pregnancy would ruin the result.

@cinammonbuns

I think I’ll tell her to get a consultation. I would want a doctor who wouldn’t really look at it with profit in mind so perhaps just asking her GP about the pros and cons.

I was going to suggest this. From you've said i think its time she spoke to the medical professionals who can advise her fully of the risks etc.

A decently fitted bra will of course help in the meantime and if thats all it takes then she won't continue, but I suspect she's past that point now.

Its a lot for you to get your head around too, op and of course you want to ensure your dd does what's best for her.

Not being able to breast feed is a terribly weak argument. Some posted No 18 year old likes their body which is even worse

Though the potential positive experience of, and benefits of, breastfeeding ( for both mother & child), is an important matter to consider, especially if you know you want to have children.

She absolutely hated the first fitting (because she didn’t want anybody to see her boobs as she hates them)

the OP's daughter specifically having a breast reduction is not a feminist issue, but my goodness the number of women on this thread who actively dislike a part of their body, are preventing from doing some activities by it and feel it lays them open to harassment and unwanted attention is.

half the population have breasts. A sizeable (ha!) proportion have larger breasts. There doesn't seem to be much out there about the restrictions having large breasts can place on our lives, or cause us to place on ourselves, and how to combat that.

1. How can women with large breasts participate in sport? Can they even? Are we expecting something unrealistic? Where is the research on this?

2. Men are often unbearable on the subject of large breasts. I hate, hate, hate that young women are still bearing the brunt of this

3. someone mentioned being taken more seriously with smaller breasts. sadly I think this is a thing too

fwiw I've been hauling 32 FFs around since I was a teenager. While I have to buy the right clothes and bras reduction has never been a thing I wanted to pursue.

I agree that your daughter is a bit young OP, and ideally she wouldn't hate part of her female body, I'm so sad that she does. But I can't ignore the people here saying 'it was the right thing for me'. I think it probably is the right thing for some people even though it feels wrong.

A friend of mine had a reduction in her 20's. She was delighted with the result. She was sick of men looking at her chest, instead of her face, when speaking to her.
I am an e cup. I often considered a reduction but was always too chicken.
Having large boobs on a slim frame means you are quite limited in your choice of clothing. Unless a top has a v neck, I wouldn't wear it, no matter how nice it is.
However, a properly fitted bra is essential. It is one thing I am fussy about. A well fitted bra will completely transform her appearance.
Also hand wash them, never machine wash.
But TBH, I would let her have the surgery if it is important to her.

Just to reassure her, Bravissimo are doing hands off fittings at the moment. Yes, she will have to stand in her bra in front of the fitter but the purpose of this is obviously to advise on fitting. I didn't feel self conscious at all. The lady who fitted me showed me her bra at one point to illustrate a different style and fit. My daughter said that I look like I have dropped a dress and boobs look smaller after my fitting on Saturday.

Another vote for Bravissimo. Many years ago M&S measured me at 34C. The bra I bought was ill-fitting and uncomfortable. I went to Bravissimo and they had me at 30ff, and I haven't looked back.

An in-person fitting now will mean wearing a mask which might help her feel less self-conscious. Fittings are hands off at the moment, too. They will look at how her current bra fits, ask which size she's wearing and then bring her some different styles and sizes to try.

If you take her to Bravissimo have a look at the Pepperberry clothing, too. Most of the styles might be a bit mature but there are some tops that I'm sure would look nice.

Honestly I find mns have measured me better than bravisimo looking back. Bravisimo have always measured me too small at the back. It's far too tight. I just let them do it and ask for a 32 instead of the 30 they recomend usually. Mns dont have great choice of bras.

Just make sure your daughter knows to never let them talk her into buying a bra they say is her size if it hurts her. Bras should not dig in at your back.

Wanderlusto Many bra fitters give you a tight chest band because that gives you the best fit and that's the bit of the bra that stretches over time. I agree it's not comfortable at the start though. This article is from Oz but explains the bra band sizing issue: style.nine.com.au/latest/bra-too-tight-around-chest-advice/04e429d5-731f-4c03-9880-e957ad4b239b

@AnnaMagnani

M&S?! Say no more.

They are absolutely shite and should be banned from bra measuring. They still add 4 inches on the back for starters.

Get a Boob or Bust measurement and the lovely ladies on Style and Beauty will have lots of recommendations on minimizing, 18 yr old appropriate bras of the right size.

Agree. If you are anywhere near London, go to Rigby & Peller. They are lovely and you don't have to buy anything. Getting the right size bra, not the size that M&S and John Lewis measurers told me to buy, was genuinely life-changing.

That said, as a 28/30E myself, I wouldn't stand in her way if she wants surgery. It's not just the size of the breasts, it's the proportions. Like me, she probably has a narrow back and shoulders, so the bloody things stick out a mile. I've come to terms with mine now, but they caused me so much self-consciousness, harassment and discomfort when I was younger. Why should the poor girl suffer for years, on the off-chance that she might want to breast-feed in the future? It's not as if she is giving up her chance to have children.