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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

DD wants a breast reduction.

174 replies

cinammonbuns · 02/05/2021 19:50

Her breast are not too big for her body, they do not cause her back pain and she would not be able to get on on the NHS. She says she wants a reduction because she feels disgusted when she looks at how big her boobs are.

She is a 32EE and a size 8 top and bottom for reference. She is 18, 2nd year uni and has an internship this summer which would fully cover the cost of the procedure. She has said it’s been bothering her for years and has no issue of it causes her to be unable to breastfeed as she doesn’t want children.
I think she would like to go down to a B to C.
Is there any links or advice I can give her. I am happy for her to do it if she considers all the risks but I know the plastic surgery regret rate is quite high so I want to inform her of all the risks.

OP posts:
Ohpulltheotherone · 02/05/2021 20:29

I would support her to do some in-depth research into potential surgeons. Then go to a couple of consultations.

Decisions are easy to make in theory but when she is presented with the reality - a surgeon, the risks etc she may decide to wait. Or she may know it’s exactly what she wants to do.

Re breastfeeding- it’d be a shame if a woman wanted to bf but couldn’t (for whatever reason) but this shouldn’t be a factor in making a major life / health decision. If she does have a child one day she can use formula like millions of other mums - no worries!

Honestly I’d support her to fully investigate and research it first, she’s old enough to marry, join the army, have a baby, vote.... she’s old enough to know if she truly wants to change her body or not

Amortentia · 02/05/2021 20:30

They don’t always grow back. Also, if I had the chance to be free of them and enjoy my 20s & 30s and had them grow when I was older I would have grabbed that with both hands. It’s not just the fact that men can be a pain in the arse and women n too actually,. Some of the worst comments I got were from women. There were so many physical activities I was put off and that does impact on current & future health and well being. Being massively restricted on what you can wear. Plus, eventually the physical strain on your neck and shoulders.

thenightsky · 02/05/2021 20:30

[quote ringboobs]@thenightsky seems unlikely. The reduction doesn't trick them into needing to grow. Likely they would have grown bigger regardless. I have had two, my mum, aunts and cousins have all had them and no ones have done that [/quote]
If you put weight on, it has to go somewhere, and it seems my poor friends' bodies were pre-disposed to gain weight in that area.

ringboobs · 02/05/2021 20:32

@thenightsky well yes, if you gain weight then they will get bigger again of course. Similarly if you are still developing or get pregnant.

I don't believe they just grow back otherwise though.

partyatthepalace · 02/05/2021 20:33

I think the main thing is to work with her to research surgeons, techniques and degrees of reduction. By doing that she’ll find out more about issues with scarring etc. If you can persuade her to get a boom or bust measured bra as part of her research that’s worth a go.

But if she decides to stick with it, it doesn’t seem like an especially unreasonable decision to me. Later in life she may wonder why she bothered (though if she has friends with big boobs and achy backs she might not) but it seems unlikely she will really regret it. Big breasts can undoubtably be a pain at times and breastfeeding isn’t a deal breaker.

Original poster
cinammonbuns · 02/05/2021 20:36

I understand what people are saying about why she doesn’t like boobs. I don’t know if it’s about visibly being a woman but it is undeniably about avoiding the male gaze and being less obviously ‘womanly’. I don’t know if that is concerning or not.

OP posts:
Original poster
cinammonbuns · 02/05/2021 20:37

@Amortentia I agree that even if it is 10 years of smaller breast she will likely consider it money well spent. I will simply inform her that they can grow back and if she is happy with that then it’s fine.

OP posts:
1idea · 02/05/2021 20:39

Bravissimo are doing online fitting appointments. They also have a range of tops with bras built in. I’m a 32g size 12/14 top I wore a new bra today and the difference was incredible! I felt taller and so much better instantly.may be worth doing the Boob or bust measuring and ordering lots of bras for her from Bravissimo to try in comfort at home as a starting point.

Thingybob · 02/05/2021 20:40

These cosmetic surgeries seem to be trends and therefore the resultant body changes are no longer fashionable after a few years.

I have younger family members that have had various procedures. A couple of breast enlargements (about 20 years ago), one breast reduction, a couple of nose jobs, a liposuction and lots of semi permanent fillers.

The one that had the breast reduction seems to be the only one that does not have any regret (atm) but they were very big chested before. The nose jobs and boob enlargements wish they had never had anything done and are gutted when they see pictures of their younger, natural selves.

Wigmic · 02/05/2021 20:41

Is she on any hormonal contraceptives? When I was her age I had 32GGs and would have done anything to get a reduction. I hated how men started at me and I was constantly over sexualised. I also felt like I missed out on many of the nice outfits my friends could wear. I ended up swapping the pill for the copper coil and my breasts shrank down to a 30E. Don’t get me wrong I would still quite like a breast reduction now I’m in my mid twenties, but I’m glad I didn’t get them done in my teens. I now would prefer to wait until they’re sagged with age and get them perked up then lol!

Amortentia · 02/05/2021 20:42

[quote cinammonbuns]@Amortentia I agree that even if it is 10 years of smaller breast she will likely consider it money well spent. I will simply inform her that they can grow back and if she is happy with that then it’s fine.[/quote]
To me it would be worth it, to experience that freedom. I was knocked back for NHS funding and it was too expensive for me when I was younger. I think if she’s fully informed and willing to go for it then good luck to her.

seepingweeping · 02/05/2021 20:44

My friend breastfed successfully after a reduction. She was a larger cup size than your dd and had the surgery when she was 22.

Her self confidence soared after the initial swelling went down. She hated her boobs.

ArabellaScott · 02/05/2021 20:45

I do know where she is coming from, OP. I just find it really sad that women feel they need to do something so drastic to protect themselves from attention.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/05/2021 20:45

I had mine done at 24 and it changed my life, no regrets.

They dont "grow back" but I was warned that as most of my tissue had been removed then if I put on a lot of weight they would get bigger again. They did when I put on weight in pregnancy but went back down to my reduction size when I lost it.

Subordinateclause · 02/05/2021 20:46

Not RTFT but the majority of women in the UK do try breastfeeding and many mix-feed until at least 6 months. Rates only count those who exclusively breastfeed and this discounts women who give even one formula feed if their baby is losing weight in the early days, even if they exclusively BF after that. It also depends on your social circle - I can count on one hand the number of people I know who exclusively formula fed and I know dozens of mums with toddlers and babies.

Also, a B cup is actually really small. I'm a size 8 and a 32B/30C and I'm definitely described by people as 'straight up and down' or 'boyish'.

Original poster
cinammonbuns · 02/05/2021 20:48

@Wigmic yes she has been on the pill for the past 2 years because of heavy periods. According to the doctor she chat why the coil as she hasn’t had sec or had children so it would be too painful difficult to fit.

OP posts:
GingerBeverage · 02/05/2021 20:49

[quote cinammonbuns]@Wanderlusto I think it must be generally body image issues most of her fiends her size have much smaller breast and she thinks they get to wear nicer clothes without people looking at their chest. She hates having to be self conscious and in general doesn’t enjoy any attention.[/quote]
I would want to thoroughly explore any particular negative experiences she has had. She will absolutely have had comments, male attention, maybe groping, jokes.
That should be acknowledged and worked through before going ahead.
Personally, speaking as someone who wanted a surgery after being bullied as a teen, I waited, saved up for it and went private at 25.
The pros have definitely outweighed the cons and I would do it again.
I also consulted with several surgeons and went with a woman in the end.

DenisetheMenace · 02/05/2021 20:49

I can’t speak personally but my very closest friend had a reduction at 16 (in the 1980s) and would, I know, thoroughly recommend.

Soontobe60 · 02/05/2021 20:49

I’ve wanted a breast reduction since I was about 16. Being a size 8 with EE cups is hard if you’re self conscious. If you’re flat chested, you can disguise that with padded bras. If you have big breasts it’s impossible to disguise them. Yes, what should it matter, we should be out and proud, but for some of us it does. I’ve spent most of my adult life being a pair of big boobs first and a person second. I totally understand her wishes.

Original poster
cinammonbuns · 02/05/2021 20:49

@Subordinateclause I think that’s exactly what she wants. To look more straight up and down. It doesn’t help she is also a bit wider in the bottom. I think the breast feeding point is valid but as PP said it’s a non starter as most 18 year olds couldn’t care less about feeding hypothetical children.

OP posts:
QueenPaw · 02/05/2021 20:50

Definitely bravissimo, I'm a size 16 and in a 34K
Kind of used to them now but I know which bras fit me well (elomi plunge) and my size and don't have any pain etc

Pyewackect · 02/05/2021 21:03

I don't think she's too young at all and I don't blame her for wanting to do something about it. It must dreadfully uncomfortable and it probably attracts all sorts of unwanted attention and comments.

As regards having kids. You don't have to breastfeed to bring up healthy kids. I only BF for 12 weeks the first time and the other two were bottle fed from the outset. All three grew up fit and healthy.

Ultimately it's her life and her decision. If it were me I'd do but I would do the reseach first and find a clinic with a good reputation.

fallfallfall · 02/05/2021 21:03

Breast reductions have a very high satisfaction rate. I had mine done at 60+ and should of had it following my 3rd child (35 yes ago).

CovidSmart · 02/05/2021 21:09

The one thing that stopped me from having surgery was the risk of loosing sensation in the nipples.
Too important in my sex life.

CovidHalloween · 02/05/2021 21:13

She’s not big IMHO but if she insists then Suggest Weight training and general exercise as they can help reduce their size a bit, not dramatically but it def helps reduce body fat and breasts in general if that’s what she wants.
She’s far too young for a surgery.