If you are a mother, did you feel potentially feel more inclined to donate to this before you had children?

[RickiTarr]

I’m just watching the BBC documentary series about surrogacy and thinking how my attitude to gametes and generic inheritance has changed since becoming a mother.

The first “traditional” or “straight” surrogate interviewed in this programme seems very blasé about her relationship with her own eggs. It’s just made me wonder.

I looked into egg donation pre-children and despite being in need of funds couldn’t get my head round it.

Post children the idea of deliberately creating half siblings which would be out there but raised separately from egg donation or surrogacy is a definitive no.

As far as surrogacy is concerned there is no way I would put my body through that to give away a baby at birth. I wouldn’t be able to deal with the carrying a child which my children would never see, I can’t imagine being able to say goodbye to a baby I’ve carried and I can’t imagine the impact on a baby being separated from its mother at birth. It’s not the same as removal at birth to protect a baby, that’s a least harm situation.

I was pro-choice pre children. I’m even more pro-choice after.

I do think the idea that pregnancy is “not an illness” that women should ignore it and carry on with work/responsibilities as if it doesn’t impact you has contributed to the idea that surrogacy is just an exchange. No one wants to hear about the risks of pregnancy or birth because it impacts on the idea of a natural process after which women carry on with work and responsibilities unchanged. Like a man is expected to do once a father.

The idea that women should be excluded from employment or opportunities because they could get pregnant and give birth is abhorrent. But the idea that the impact of it should be completely ignored to make sure women aren’t excluded is not right either.

There is about a 2% risk of Ovarian Hyperstimulation when you undertake egg harvesting. This comes in various levels of severity from sever discomfort up to and including including death. Having nearly died from this myself I am horrified that anyone is allowed to suggest donating eggs to anyone and I am terrified every time someone casually suggests donating eggs. It is a serious undertaking and if you already have children you are preparing to potentially leave them motherless.

I was never very keen on donating eggs before I went through IVF but this experience has left me feeling that women should be legally protected from the pressure to ‘help’ other couples.