Almost all young women in the UK have been sexually harrassed

[Kit19]

this is heartbreaking and I wish I could say surprising but it isnt. Women have no faith it will be dealt with either

My mum said all men were perverts and generally I have always found that to be true. My nieces in USA are taught self defence as part of their school curriculum which includes dealing with situations. We need classes for both sexes to teach men also what is unacceptable behaviour. Being constantly wary of mens behaviour has made me a hard faced cow ready to retaliate unfortunately. I never walk anywhere preferring safe zone of my car!

Just one of the many, many creepy, suggestive and awkward messages my very first ‘proper job’ boss messaged me. I was 16/17 and he was about 40odd - he was initially very nice, laid back boss - and as it was my first job I felt awkward and didn’t want to speak out because I thought he might sack me... turns out when I eventually found my voice and told him he was inappropriate he did sack me and blocked me (knowing he’s an absolutely creepy bastard) but I made sure to document all messages just in case - I just never knew what to do with them.

FYI - these were conversations carried on from when we would stand talking at the end of a shift or something he’s seen online such as I put up a Facebook status about loading up on chocolate, having a shower and catching an early night (I was a clearly very boring teen😂) to which he messaged me something creepy about imagine me covered in chocolate in the shower or something not envy.

This started for me and all my female family and friends when we were girls not women and for many of us this was when we were wearing our school uniforms and the sexual harassment and assaults were form men

So many men I speak to think we have experienced this once or twice it was constant as a teenager and young adult you learn to navigate how to hopefully get out of situations where you know something is going to happen, the awkwardness of dealing with sleazy men, the fear, the shame and vulnerability you feel it’s awful at times

The most shocking thing for me is that so much of this shit occurs so regularly that we don't notice it. I doubt there are many women who read adulthood without experiencing some level of sexual assault.

I remember reading in Invisible Women about assaults on nurses and I'm ashamed to say that until I saw it written on the page, I had never stopped and thought that in the 15 years I spent as I ward based nurse I would have my arse or tits squeezed most days. And yet I - and thousands like me - ignored it.

Later, when I commuted by tube I would have an errect penis shoved in to my back at rush hour at least once a week.

And this is just the low level stuff.

Porn. I think many men men just struggle to relate to women as real people with feelings rather than blow up dolls. A view confirmed by the experiences of both my 20 year old DD and my 60 year old self with me. TBH I have been shocked.

The sad thing is they do themselves a disservice because they seem to have lost the ability to form a friendly, loving, empathetic relationship and we won't settle for anything less.

me = men. proof reading is good!

Things appear to have got much worse.

Easy availability of hard porn and date rape drugs, an increased emphasis on behaving according to gender roles, social media giving scope for laddish group chats, a reduction on the way society values women. Who knows.

This website is shocking but reflects posts above.

www.everyonesinvited.uk/survivor-testimonies

Mainly affluent middle class kids. But then we had Rotherham etc, etc. And regular stories of girls being harassed, and worse, in all sorts of schools and from a range of backgrounds. Something is wrong, very wrong.

I think this was an issue well before the widespread availability of porn, as many of these posts show. Varying levels of harassment are a universal experience for women of all ages, everywhere. It’s foul.

@DarcyJack

Not just young women either nor is this a recent phenomenon. DM who is 83 was sexually assaulted by her boss at work when she was 16. I'm 59 and each and every time I am out running some (at best) cheeky chappie says something smart. 'Can I help you out of those wet clothes?' 'Nice arse' 'Smile love it might...' I have also been smacked on the bottom. Wankers.

I think that everyone is aware that this sort of thing went on in the "bad old days". What many men are ignorant of is just how widespread the behaviour remains in these supposedly enlightened times. This survey was of women aged 18-25 (if I remember right). Women who have only been on this planet for less than a quarter of a century, women who haven't even been over the age of consent for a decade and yet 97% have been sexually harassed, 80% sexually assaulted. It's shocking.

@Merename

I think this was an issue well before the widespread availability of porn, as many of these posts show. Varying levels of harassment are a universal experience for women of all ages, everywhere. It’s foul.

True.

When I walked home from secondary school in the 69s I had to choose, every day, between walking via the main road and getting catcalls from lorry drivers or cut through a road surrounded by woods and risk the flashers. That was in the 1960s in a nice part of a small town in Berkshire.

60s not 69s

@Merename

I think this was an issue well before the widespread availability of porn, as many of these posts show. Varying levels of harassment are a universal experience for women of all ages, everywhere. It’s foul.

I agree, Merenane it isn’t because of porn. It’s because of men.

@Floisme

I cannot think of a single woman my age - 64 - who doesn't have a string of tales to tell about sexual harassment and assault. I'm glad to see it coming out at last but I'm a little at the notion that it's something new.

Yes, I agree with this. Watching the news yesterday it dawned on me that probably every woman has some experience of harassment. That just isn’t right. I realised I have always just accepted it as part of life as a woman. Which is outrageous really.

How do we get police to take the flashing, dick pics, cat calling, intimidation etc more seriously? Logic would suggest that this level of (unchecked) misogyny would be likely to escalate to something even more seriously damaging to women?

@ChattyLion

How do we get police to take the flashing, dick pics, cat calling, intimidation etc more seriously? Logic would suggest that this level of (unchecked) misogyny would be likely to escalate to something even more seriously damaging to women?

Maybe if the Conservatives hadn't cut all those police officers . Part of the issue is capacity - the police are overstretched so low level things don't get dealt with.

A lot of the issues we have now in policing, social work, women's support, courts - all are down to the choices made by the Conservative government since 2010. They don't care about the victims of crime.

@ChattyLion

How do we get police to take the flashing, dick pics, cat calling, intimidation etc more seriously? Logic would suggest that this level of (unchecked) misogyny would be likely to escalate to something even more seriously damaging to women?

You only have to look at photos of police dressed up to ‘work’ at some public events, petting furries and dancing with people dressed as giant willies... it’s all a joke.

Maybe if they didn't waste their time on policing “wrongthink”

Exactly. The ‘flashing’ thing reported - I saw something on twitter supposedly an account by the victim and it wasn’t just a ‘tee hee he flashed his willy’.

Definitely more scary and sinister that should have got him suspended and investigated (if it was the same man, the account were as she described...).

And yet, ‘deadname’ or ‘misgender’ and your can get a visit from the police and a night in cells?

So we start by lobbying our MPs then?
I agree austerity has been catastrophic for public services.

@WomenAreBornNotWorn please report to the CQC, I would also file a police report, its really extremely worrying that management are not taking this seriously and creates a culture where very serious harms can be concealed.

Yes I agree with @ferretface - I would be terrified if I had a relative in a home and found out that one of the staff had acted in this way. You absolutely need to take this further.

Having read a lot of the discussion around this over the last few days I'm convinced that men are not going to solve this problem for us and that our only option is to arm ourselves (metaphorically) with everything we have. We need to know the laws inside out, we need to know how to report stuff and to whom, we need to collect the right evidence, we need to name and shame, we need to know how to escalate when things are not dealt with.

With hindsight I really wish I'd had this when I was younger. There's a particular incident I remember at work where I was groped by a colleague and it was laughed off by the man I reported it to ("Don't be so uptight!"). I wish I'd taken them to the effing cleaners.

@AngelaMerkelEyeRoll

This is heartbreaking and unsurprising. Access to online porn has a lot to do with increased male sexual entitlement I think.

But this has been going on forever. Can't blame it on online porn when things happened to my mum in the 70's and me in the 90's! It's always been an issue.

^But this has been going on forever. Can't blame it on online porn when things happened to my mum in the 70's and me in the 90's!
It's always been an issue.^

This. I was abused at 7 by a teenage boy. This was early 80s.

First time I got shouted at in the street by an adult male, I was 12. I was repeatedly groped in secondary school by boys in my year - hand on my bum, trying to slide a hand up my skirt, that sort of thing, and saw plenty of similar towards other girls, including one girl getting cornered by a cupboard and the boy touching her breasts. Got left on my own with a boy with a reputation for groping girls, and, well, got groped, forced to kiss him and he tried to make me touch him

I'm 49 and was sexually assaulted by a man in his 70s last year. I reported him and he received a conditional caution. Not the first time its happened but just the most recent.

This has been the topic of discussion on LBC all day today. Shelagh Fogarty is covering women's stories, talking about the ladies' toilets being hidden away down steep stairs etc. I wonder if anyone has yet mentioned that we aren't even allowed to have ladies' toilets any more. We have to let the men in with us.