Hyperbole spin-off

[BrandineDelRoy]

I found a lot on the Hyperbole threat that I wanted to respond to, but kept feeling that I didn't want to derail it. This will probably go nowhere, but that's ok.

I'm 45. When I was 19-20, I was anorexic. I didn't get diagnosed, but I lost many pounds, my hair started falling out, and I stopped menstruating. It only ended because my dad died. And that's ok. It shocked me out of it. I see now that I was never fat.

But I also got my nose "done" (I think "Eteri" mentioned this surgery on Hyperbole thread) when I was in my early 20s. My only regret is not getting more off. But I'm also glad I did it. My old nose was big. My current nose is still big, but acceptable.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to say. But in my opinion there is a place for cosmetic surgery. I've never been able to make a "rule" for it, but I thought maybe it depends if you're having surgery to get more attention or less attention. My nose job was to get less attention. It worked.

I guess I'm asking about cosmetic surgery. I feel it has a place.

It was Hypothetically, not Hyperbole. 🙄

I'll see myself out.

Look, any type of dissatisfaction with your born body is unhealthy. Whether it's your size, your nose or the mismatch of your sexed body to your "gender".

Women are subject to extremely high beauty standards because - gender - and in a perfect world we would just be able to say fuck it, I have a big nose, a big arse, a big round belly, and deal with it without paying a hand rubbing plastic surgeon a fortune over our socially constructed insecurities.

Obviously in 2021 we don't live in a perfect world we live in a porn-soaked, judgemental, critical, vain, narcissistic, patriarchal dystopia. Plastic surgery is the embodiment of all of that and feeds all of that.

But is it wrong to get cosmetic surgery so you aren't abused?

And thank your for engaging. I guess I just differentiate between cosmetic surgeries. And I'm not sure why.

It's not a right/wrong thing, OP. It's looking in the wrong place. It's your body, your choice (when you're an adult).

There is no need to alter a healthy body. Everybody is beautiful, every body is beautiful.

The fact that arseholes will abuse you has nothing to do with you and your body, and everything to do with them being an arsehole.

I have no ethical dilemma with cosmetic surgery per se, I just think it's very sad that anyone would feel the need. What we need to foster is confidence and a deep acceptance of ourselves. Radical, even, perhaps.

Were you abused for having a nose of a certain shape?
The person abusing you over something like that should be ashamed of themselves, and you actually paid to have your nose broken because of that?
Sorry but cosmetic surgery was not the right path you'd have been better off with therapy, or revenge.

So it's ok to get my boobs removed to get less attention?

@midgedude

So it's ok to get my boobs removed to get less attention?

Yes. That's clearly what I said.

@BrandineDelRoy

But is it wrong to get cosmetic surgery so you aren't abused?

No it's not wrong. But how about no one abuses you for the size of your nose, the love handles, big chest, small chest, being thin, being fat etc ad infinitum. It's a place most feminists are working towards, although I dont know how successful we will be. I find it sad that you thought you had to be skinny and alter your nose. But I understand why.

Feels to me like it's the attention that's wrong , al though you only live once

@BrandineDelRoy

I'll see myself out.

Im sorry, this is really funny 😄

But referring to your OP, personally I don’t have a massive issue with cosmetic surgery

I think there can be a place for it but for me it really depends what its for, and it’s something that should be thought about. I’m also concerned about the relentless circle some surgery goes round for some people, where they are never happy and keep thinking they need to get more

Especially around female actors and their faces

One of my boobs didn't develop. I had an implant in that boob at the age of 16 on the NHS. I don't regret it but I think it does give me some empathy for teenagers struggling with their bodies. I can't say I love my boobs but I don't hate them and I think it would have had more of a negative effect on me had I not had it done. I am the most low maintenance non looks focussed person you can imagine. I am the last person who would get cosmetic surgery in other circumstances. But I wanted to wear tops without people noticing I only had one boob. I suppose that is societal pressure to a degree but does it matter? When I was in the hospital there was a lovely woman in there who was in for the same reason. Her and her husband were so lovely to me. Men have never cared even though the difference is still pretty obvious (texture and sensation). One horrible boyfriend looked at me with disgust and said "why did you do that to yourself?" but otherwise it has all been well received. I never felt I needed to do more. I never wanted perfection. I just wanted a pair of boobs.

Thank you for the good faith replies.

Brandine I didn’t see the earlier thread so don’t know context. I am sure you did the right thing for you at the time. In an ideal world you wouldn’t have needed the surgery, wouldn’t have become anorexic. The world is far from ideal and women pay the price for that with their bodies and minds. Can you let go of what happened, if not, is there a counsellor you feel you can talk to? We can only try to make the world that bit more accepting for other women so they don’t feel their only choice is to do the same.

I guess I could have learned to love myself without the surgery but the reasons I don't love myself are totally unrelated to my looks.

Sorry OP. My comment was a bit stream of consiciousness. You just got me thinking!

I've obviously stirred up a nest. I wanted to talk about cosmetic surgery. I'll go.

I think it's awful that you felt the need to have the operation, but I can completely understand why you did. It wasn't your nose that was wrong, but society and our obsession with appearance and our narrow ideas of what is acceptable.

@BrandineDelRoy

I've obviously stirred up a nest. I wanted to talk about cosmetic surgery. I'll go.

No dont go...

Where you asking from a feminist point of view about pressure on primarily women or was there something else you were thinking of?

@MonkeyNotOrgangrinder

I think it's awful that you felt the need to have the operation, but I can completely understand why you did. It wasn't your nose that was wrong, but society and our obsession with appearance and our narrow ideas of what is acceptable.

Yes. I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying it's reality

My ds1 was very upset about his nose

And ive had surgery

I don’t think it’s a surgeries a bad thing to do at all- it certainly doesn’t reflect on the morals of those getting it done. What it does indicate is how shit society sometimes treats people for something completely arbitrary and out of our hands.

• I don’t think GETTING surgery