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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

First Dates new restaurant location with mixed sex toilets

26 replies

EyesOpening · 28/01/2021 12:51

I was watching the new series of FD last night, it was filmed at a different restaurant this time, in Manchester, I think. They showed a woman going in the toilets then a man came out of one of the stalls while she was talking on her phone in the sink area. I rewound to see that the door she opened said “No peeking” but then as she came into the toilets, the “no peeking” sign was (also?) on a different door and it said something else on the one that closed behind her but I couldn’t make out what it said.
On their Twitter page, you can see that this sign says “His, hers and theirs” (I’m not sure if she went through two doors or changed her mind which door to go through but not sure that’s relevant). Is this actually happening in lots of places already now? I would be so uncomfortable with this, I think I would have to walk out of these places if so! There only seemed to be about half a dozen toilets there though so I wonder if the men might start peeing in the sinks should there be too long a queue!
They do have cameras in the toilet area so I guess that might be a deterrent to any sexual assaults or at least be able to identify an attacker (who will probably just get a slap on the wrist or not even get taken to court if current situations are anything to go by) but only after a women or girl has been traumatised.

twitter.com/firstdates/status/1354199892529467392?

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EyesOpening · 28/01/2021 12:58

Looking at that clip again, I can see that she didn’t actually go through the “Don’t Peek” (maybe it should be Don’t Peak!) door but the one to the side, marked “His, Hers and Theirs”
I’ll be watching the rest of the series with interest, to see if there are any comments /complaints about the mixed sex toilets

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NorthernIrishFeminist · 28/01/2021 13:08

I eat (well used to when that was an option Sad) at small restaurants with individual mixed sex toilets that open into an area that is visible to people outside (although I don’t like them) as I accept space is limited but I wouldn’t go back to a restaurant that had conventional toilet area that is mixed sex.

Babdoc · 28/01/2021 13:26

I boycott restaurants with mixed sex toilets. Fortunately, in my experience, they tend to be overpriced hipster ones with unimpressive menus.

EyesOpening · 28/01/2021 13:27

@NorthernIrishFeminist

I eat (well used to when that was an option Sad) at small restaurants with individual mixed sex toilets that open into an area that is visible to people outside (although I don’t like them) as I accept space is limited but I wouldn’t go back to a restaurant that had conventional toilet area that is mixed sex.
I presume you mean ones where the sinks are inside the stalls so you have room to manoeuvre etc? I don’t mind those either but I don’t want to be in a space where I’d normally “rearrange” myself, in front men or I may as well do it in the middle of the restaurant etc!
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EyesOpening · 28/01/2021 13:29

@Babdoc

I boycott restaurants with mixed sex toilets. Fortunately, in my experience, they tend to be overpriced hipster ones with unimpressive menus.
I haven’t come across any so far but I will be checking in future before I sit down to eat and I will be writing to tell them why I won’t be using their premises in the future!
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teenytrees · 28/01/2021 13:32

I boycott such places too, and have written to one to complain.

They didn't reply and obviously feel they have enough customers who don't mind.

teenytrees · 28/01/2021 13:34

To add... this is making my world smaller (in non lockdown times) as more and more restaurants seem to be going the same way.
I do think it's important to continue to write and tell them.

EyesOpening · 28/01/2021 13:41

“I do think it's important to continue to write and tell them”
I think so too because otherwise they’ll think everyone is happy and if they do have a drop in customers, they won’t know that this could be a reason

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OhGodWhatTheHellNow · 28/01/2021 14:48

DD playing a little cartoon puzzle game on her phone, image showed a lad doing the peepee dance, a 'Mens' marked out of order and a 'Womens', using the standard man/woman in dress iconography. Puzzle was how to let the young man have a wee.

I didn't get it and neither did DD but DS got it straight away - the official solution was to move the skirt on the icon to the 'Mens' so now it's the 'Womens' out of order.

I mean, this is reality now isn't it? Take away what we need to keep the men happy.

Lifeaintalwaysempty · 28/01/2021 14:59

Any enclosed space that you typically use by yourself, that is supposed to be private and therefore by its very nature a space where you cannot be seen or heard by those outside, is not a space I would feel safe in if it’s mixed sex. I want to feel safe, as well as enjoying some privacy and dignity.

A long while back I was in a mother and baby room by myself with my child, when a man decided to come in to use the loo as the mens was being cleaned. When I challenged him he became threatening and intimidating and it struck me, if he did something to me right now, not a single person would even know because it’s a private space. That’s why mixed toilets are absolute BS.

Melange99 · 28/01/2021 17:48

If you were in a mixed loo and was attacked by a man in there, would there be any legal come back on the premises?

Eowynthewarrior · 28/01/2021 19:30

Came here because of the toilets .., stayed for the custard ....

Joking aside an appealing experience having to leave dinner at a new posh restaurant when I had a heavy flooding period because the loos were mixed sex ( brand new place with ample space and money to have had ladies gents and mixed sex for those that needed or wanted that facility) . Luckily I was with my male best mate so I could explain but I could so easily have been at a business function with clients where I could not

NiceGerbil · 28/01/2021 19:54

No peeking?

What the hell? What are they implying?

NiceGerbil · 28/01/2021 19:56

And yes loads of restaurants seem to be doing this.

For them it's a win as they just change the sign on the ladies to mixed and then they can knock through/ repurpose the gents and gain important space.

I went out before lockdown and the restaurant had this sign...

First Dates new restaurant location with mixed sex toilets
NiceGerbil · 28/01/2021 19:56

Can you see the pic?

NiceGerbil · 28/01/2021 19:59

Try again

First Dates new restaurant location with mixed sex toilets
Lifeaintalwaysempty · 28/01/2021 20:17

@NiceGerbil that’s gross and depressing, why do we have to put up with this!

NiceGerbil · 28/01/2021 20:20

Because women have always put up with a lot.

EyesOpening · 29/01/2021 19:46

@NiceGerbil

And yes loads of restaurants seem to be doing this.

For them it's a win as they just change the sign on the ladies to mixed and then they can knock through/ repurpose the gents and gain important space.

I went out before lockdown and the restaurant had this sign...

An “all gender” notice under a sign for the men’s? How strange! What happened to the ladies’ toilets?
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EyesOpening · 29/01/2021 19:47

@NiceGerbil

No peeking?

What the hell? What are they implying?

I’m thinking that must be the sign for private/staff
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Chihuahuacat · 29/01/2021 19:48

I’m 90% sure (I’ve not been for awhile) that in real life the restaurant has separate toilets, so I suspect they may have mixed them for the tv show to add drama.

BareBelliedSneetch · 29/01/2021 19:51

I live near a town where a lot of the restaurants are in small, old buildings. Many of them have had unisex loos for a long time.

And I think pretty much every Costa I’ve been in has had unisex loos too.

As long as they are fit for purpose, with solid doors, I’ve never found it a problem.

EyesOpening · 29/01/2021 20:03

@Chihuahuacat

I’m 90% sure (I’ve not been for awhile) that in real life the restaurant has separate toilets, so I suspect they may have mixed them for the tv show to add drama.
They did look more like ladies’ toilets with the flowers by the sinks etc but that might have just been for TV too
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EyesOpening · 29/01/2021 20:06

“ in small, old buildings. Many of them have had unisex loos for a long time.” do you mean where they just have one, maybe two, toilets with a sink inside? Or like the ones in the FD restaurant, where everyone shares the sinks?

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VegetableLove · 29/01/2021 20:47

@NiceGerbil

Can you see the pic?
Bodeans? Old street or Soho? Inevitable probably Grin