Independent article: we need to stop normalising sexual violence against women

[Mumofgirlswholiketoplaywithmud]

www.independent.co.uk/voices/sexual-violence-choking-dating-apps-consent-b1790669.html

“When I was a teenager, girls who wouldn't willingly have sex were labelled 'frigid'. The new 'frigid' is 'vanilla'. Girls who don't want porn-inspired sex – anal, hair-pulling and choking – are shamed for their 'inhibitions'.”

Really interesting article by Victoria Richards. Good to see the independent cover this, as often there seems to be a push away from covering this issue in the left wing press.

Very good piece.

When r/GenderCritical was still allowed to exist by grace of our male overlords, I was often struck by younger women’s reported experiences of violent and/or degrading sex as a norm, even though I wasn’t more than 10-15 years older than most posters there.

Excellent article, pulls no punches which is really positive to see.

God above. I did a bit of online dating in the early 2000s and it’s a different nasty world.

Anyone starting up an online dating platform where you have to agree to no genital pictures and no requests for violent and degrading sex would have business winner on their hands - well, it would be full of women anyway!

"minimising this type of behaviour as a “preference”, or reframing it as a “harmless kink” risks erasing the reality of what it is: sexual violence, most often perpetuated by men, against women. How many opening conversations from women on dating apps begin with them asking men if they can choke, hit, slap or spit on them?"

It's not kink if it looks like the same old male violence. It's men who think of women as objects to degrade so they can derive pleasure. This. Is. Not. New.

Great article. I can't be the only one who is recovering from a deep faint after realising it was published by the Independent?

Re kink shaming. I kind of think people who are pro kink could agree to put their privilege aside for a while until such time as men stop being violent against women?

Nobody NEEDS kink. I see it as akin to liking cocaine or animal fur but realising that your preference can't really be separated from the harm that consuming it does to society /animals /other people. Realising that & not being a selfish arse.

I remember once having to challenge a male student, who didn’t like hearing information about the male violence in porn - we were discussing an article with survey responses. He responded, ‘bet that was written by some dirty feminist’. My takedown of that was spectacular and spontaneous, but I was concerned that the girls remained silent - I speculated they didn’t want to raise their heads above the parapet to show that they had wants, desires and expectations of sex beyond those of porn-addled brains. That’s deeply worrying.

Why was subreddit r/GenderCritical banned?

That's a good article

Yes good article. Feels like a terrifying time to be bringing up children, girls in particular. I wonder if older generations always felt this?

@BrassicaRabbit

Great article. I can't be the only one who is recovering from a deep faint after realising it was published by the Independent?

Re kink shaming. I kind of think people who are pro kink could agree to put their privilege aside for a while until such time as men stop being violent against women?

Nobody NEEDS kink. I see it as akin to liking cocaine or animal fur but realising that your preference can't really be separated from the harm that consuming it does to society /animals /other people. Realising that & not being a selfish arse.

I fainted a bit too!

@Merename

Yes good article. Feels like a terrifying time to be bringing up children, girls in particular. I wonder if older generations always felt this?

I feel the same . I have 2 girls (both under 5 at the moment)