Male colleague wanting unisex toilets

[seethingatmydesk]

I need to get this off my chest as I can’t do it at work. I work for a large national government department, office based. Today a relatively new to the job, male colleague who is at a rough guess in his late 50s was talking loudly to another colleague about how our toilets ‘should be unisex’ and that ‘trans people being allowed into female toilets is absolutely fine and only a ‘small minority’ are a threat to women. He says he’s been in multiple Facebook arguments with ‘supposed feminists’ arguing that his opinion is the correct one.

What business is it if his? As a man (who I am assuming identifies as his biological sex as male and uses the male toilets here) a move to unisex toilets doesn’t impact him at all so I feel who is he to comment or give an opinion? I was secretly seething at my desk and had to bite my tongue to stop myself disagreeing with him out loud.

My manager just kind of nodded and moved on as I don’t think he knew what to say.

Every time I look at said colleague I want to punch him.

There. I feel better now.

This is a usefull resourse from Fair play for women:
fairplayforwomen.com/male-free-toilets-and-changing-rooms/

He could be the kind of troublemaking character that likes to throw out controversial statements in order to watch others rise to the bait, which he would find amusing. The fact that this issue would not affect him personally (except that he would have access to once female-only loos) is a clue. My guess is he will go on trying to provoke in similar ways.
Alternativdely he may be a bit pervvy.

An excellent compromise would be a women only toilet and a unisex toilet.

He is either a one who just likes to throw potential bombs into situations (AKA Goady Fucker) or he is anti-women (AKA Sexist Pig).

Either way youve now been lucky that this man is showing his true colours.

What a prick. When he says it next time, just look at him directly, no emotion, a cold stare, and then look away. Arsehole x

@Al77

An excellent compromise would be a women only toilet and a unisex toilet.

You should have said this OP!

Also Building regs from womensplace website letter template about unisex toilets:

The Workplace (Health, Safety and Welfare) Regulations 1992 stipulates general requirements on accommodation.
Regulation 20, Sanitary conveniences, states:

Suitable and sufficient sanitary conveniences shall be provided at readily accessible places.
Without prejudice to the generality of paragraph (1), sanitary conveniences shall not be suitable unless –
the rooms containing them are adequately ventilated and lit;
they and the rooms containing them are kept in a clean and orderly condition; and
separate rooms containing conveniences are provided for men and women except where and so far as each convenience is in a separate room the door of which is capable of being secured from inside.

@HyacynthBucket

He could be the kind of troublemaking character that likes to throw out controversial statements in order to watch others rise to the bait, which he would find amusing. The fact that this issue would not affect him personally (except that he would have access to once female-only loos) is a clue. My guess is he will go on trying to provoke in similar ways. Alternativdely he may be a bit pervvy.

Quite a few possibilities including this one

I’d be interested to know why he left his last job.

He says he’s been in multiple Facebook arguments with ‘supposed feminists’ arguing that his opinion is the correct one.

^^ That's his motivation right there. Highly unlikely he has any real interest in the Trans toilet debate as he doesn't have any skin in the game. He's just found a subject that he can use to indulge in winding up women.

I'd seek out your manager, say that you couldn't help overhearing what had been said.
"It's really important if you are considering this that you consult fully with women first. Many women have good reason for a strong preference for women only toilets. There are legal requirements for single sex toilets. Women from minority ethnic groups are even more disadvantaged by this. Single sex toilets are a safeguarding measure. I can get more information together for you if you'd like me to- please don't take this step without understanding how distressing it will be for most of the women working here."

No is a complete sentence.

I am a man by the way.

Great advice here.
My male colleagues do NOT want unisex toilets (there’s one block in one of our buildings which both sexes avoid and check that the other sex is not in there before proceeding)

I give it six months until this dude reveals that he wants everyone to pretend he is a woman.

I’m getting porn vibes from this guy too

what a bizarre thing for a man to gripe about.

talk to the manager about overhearing him, and your concerns, I'd start by asking why a man would push for proximity to female colleagues while they've got their knickers down.

It's never a woman, is it? It's never us doing the asking for this, I notice.

Ding ding ding.
The alarm bells are ringing.

@FedUpAtHomeTroels

Tell him he can turn the mens into Unisex toilets if he's so inclined, he doesn't get to volunteer the ladies.

This. This would be the best option. Most places of work that ive every been in do not have anywhere near the toilet per women as they do toilets per men.

@FedUpAtHomeTroels

Tell him he can turn the mens into Unisex toilets if he's so inclined, he doesn't get to volunteer the ladies.

Off topic, but yesterday I observed this interesting variation, at a small private hospital in Ireland. Two single, self-contained loos. One had a Women sign in it, the other Men and Women. I peeked into the men's; there wasn't a urinal. This is how it should be.

I work for a large national government department, office based.

Well that's good.
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8900049/amp/Government-ensure-women-access-female-lavatories-public-buildings.html

And new Government buildings tend to have men, women and gender-neutral, as well as facilities for people with disabilities. The perfect solution IMO.

If all toilets were made unisex then males would no longer be able to use urinals. I actually think this would level the playing-field: women usually have less toilet facilities because we require cubicles; I imagine if urinals were taken away from men to make their toilets inclusive for trans men a lot of them would suddenly have the rage.

The use of hidden cameras terrifies me, though. I will be investing in a camera/recorder detector I think, so many perverts about.

The fact he's actually been arguing with women online about this seems to suggest he is personally invested in the idea. Maybe he's closet trans? Maybe his friend is but he doesn't want to say?