Meeting my MP about the Proud Trust sex ed materials

[Mollscroll]

I wrote to my Conservative female MP about the Proud Trust sex ed materials in May. I told her of my objections to the fact that they:

• promoted male-focussed sexual activities to girls as young as 13
• made no mention of any safe sex requirements around, for example, inserting objects in an anus
• made no reference to breasts, clitoris
• were designed to help girls discard their natural boundaries

And that all this was funded by the tampon tax which is supposed to be used in support of women and girls.

She did not get back to me despite multiple chasing letters. I suspect someone in her office did not like my objections. I have finally secured a meeting with her on zoom next week - I had to write to the local chair of the Conservative Party in order to get this.

Now that I have this meeting, I can't think what to say. I am so angry about the Proud Trust and about the betrayal of women and girls that I don't know what else to add.

I also don't know the current status of this material - I believe it may have been withdrawn but obviously the money, taken from the pockets of women and girls, has already been spent on a product which reduces us to mere tools for men's sexual pleasure.

Can anyone calmer and more succinct than me give me some pointers? What would you raise at this point?

I'm not staff or a supporter, I had never heard of them before. Pregnancy is covered in biology and other than being a potential consequence of straight sex doesn't need to be discussed in rse. What on earth is wrong with talking about the different ways people enjoy bodies? They are simply trying to educate and normalise what a lot of people do in their sex lives. It's totally fine if your vanilla and straight but it's also totally fine if you're not...

I get the impression that some on here are simply against the idea of talking to young people about sex at all, besides the old 'when a man and a woman love each other very
much.'

You very clearly have the wrong impression.

Pregnancy is covered in biology and other than being a potential consequence of straight sex doesn't need to be discussed in rse.

Yes, let’s just ignore the biggest impact on girls lives, teenage pregnancy, parenting, and the need contraception from any discussion in PHSE. Afterall it doesn’t have the same impact on boys does it, so it can’t be important.

What on earth is wrong with talking about the different ways people enjoy bodies? They are simply trying to educate and normalise what a lot of people do in their sex lives.

Remembering some of these children are still prepubescent and none of them can consent to sex. But I wonder who might be interested in normalising varied and harmful sexual practises and encouraging children to ‘enjoy bodies’?

Pregnancy is covered in biology and other than being a potential consequence of straight sex doesn't need to be discussed in rse

I can hardly believe I just read this.

Pregnancy doesn’t need to be discussed in school sex education. There we have it. Women and girls are so utterly irrelevant. They are just holes.

And as for pregnancy not being a part of SRE? Words fail me...

@Perfect28

I'm not staff or a supporter, I had never heard of them before. Pregnancy is covered in biology and other than being a potential consequence of straight sex doesn't need to be discussed in rse. What on earth is wrong with talking about the different ways people enjoy bodies? They are simply trying to educate and normalise what a lot of people do in their sex lives. It's totally fine if your vanilla and straight but it's also totally fine if you're not...

Call me old fashioned but I don’t think it is ok to ‘normalise’ anal sex to 13 year old children. There are actually some serious safety risks if you don’t know what you are doing (I stumbled across some medical reports of the permanent and life changing effects if it goes wrong). We need to be supporting children to have firm boundaries and understand consent.

Anal sex (and sticking objects into people) is not generally for the pleasure of the girl so why encourage boys already egged on by the inevitable porn to out pressure into girls to do that?

We should be working to help kids push back on the focus on early sexualisation promoted by many adults as it is not to the benefit of the children.

While the basic reproductive facts of pregnancy may be dealt with in biology lessons, it is hugely important that teenagers are educated properly on safe sex, contraception, stds, consent etc - that will not be dealt with in biology lessons and it is disappointing that people like you hand wave away concerns and imply that such concerns might be prudish.

I’m sure we are all women of the world here and it is for that reason that we wish to improve safeguarding for our children, not undermine it.

Seriously I'm quite shocked but not surprised at some of these views. I wonder if any of you actually work with teenagers? You realise that most young people have seen some kind of porn by the end of primary school right? Yes, it's scary but this is the world we live in and we are trying to educate them, to be savvy, safe and make better choices. I love how you assume that certain topics aren't covered just because they aren't covered in this particular session or lesson plan. In fact a school may well use some of these resources to teach a few lessons, that doesn't mean that other topics are omitted. Far from it. Of course they will be taught about consent, safe sex, contraception etc. Why on earth shouldn't we teach that within these safe remits sex can be pleasurable?! That's such a feminist notion! In some scandi countries I think they give girls vibrators (shock horror!) . In addition, the assumptions that only men enjoy anal sex (false) and pregnancy and parenthood is only about women (false) reinforces harmful gender stereotypes. Many of you are picking up on their age but if we follow that to its logical conclusion we wouldn't do any sex Ed before the age of 16 because they shouldn't be doing it right? It's such an utterly outdated and Conservative view.

Interesting post for someone who hasn't seen it, Prefect28.

Pregnancy is something only females experience and you are the one suggesting pregnancy, and therefore parenthood, is simply a byproduct of straight sex and all discussion should be limited to biology lessons.

I will say that exploring objects in her anus will not be pleasurable for my 13 year old dd or indeed for any 13 year old.

If it’s about pleasure where are the breasts ? Why the focus on inserting things in holes? For someone so broad minded you’re sounding very limited.

@Mollscroll that's precisely the point I just made, why are you assuming that breast and nipple stimulation will be completely ommited because it's not on one particular lesson plan? You could say that about any session - why didn't you mention x, y, z. There's a bigger picture here. These are just one provider with some resources...

I think 13 is an entirely appropriate age to be talking about sex (which as I've explained is much wider than just straight vanilla sex). I would rather my children were taught by professionals in a safe space tbh but each to their own.

Just want to say that the contradictions here are rife. There's a belief that parenthood should be taught, OK fair enough, but how is that any more relevant to a 13 year old? Most people will have sex and sexual experiences long before they become parents, seems much more relevant imho.

These people are not professionals. They are campaigners. No particular knowledge of teaching children. Oblivious to the safeguarding requirements. And a classroom full of teenagers and their teacher is absolutely not a safe space for this discussion. The teacher would be at risk for a start. Another part of the game requires children to identify images that they would find in pornography. What could possibly go wrong ? Teacher - possibly inexperienced - brings porn images into the classroom at the behest of a lobby group with no safeguarding or teaching background....

Unfortunately pregnancy is very much a reality for some 13 year olds.

Why do you think teaching sex is relevant but teaching pregnancy and parenthood is not? Did you miss the lesson where the link between these was explained?

Nothing on pregnancy, the clitoris, or breasts.

And Perfect here thinks this is a great teaching resource for young people about sex.

The misogyny is strong in this one.

It's magic how the one poster arrives to normalise things and call everyone names while clearly not really knowing much about the subject at hand. I'm just getting to the point of skimming on by, muttering Kipling's quote of 'if you can keep your head while all about you....' then you haven't thought it through properly.

Bravo Moll, very well done. Brilliant way to get an MP aware of the wider picture.

Misogyny was not the word I was thinking of for someone keen to discuss and normalise niche adult sexual practices with children, show porn images to children, ignore girls boundaries, and think harmful outcomes for children as not worth discussing when compared with holding discussions on sexual pleasure with children.

Well done OP. Also, for the well-intentioned people desperate to tell kids sex can be fun, do you really think we need school lessons to tell them that? I vote teach them about safety, consent and respect, we don't need to teach them the intricate details of vulva stimulation or act like anal sex is totes casual and normal for girls. They can figure out what sex they like when they're old enough to try it themselves.

@MichelleofzeResistance

It's magic how the one poster arrives to normalise things and call everyone names while clearly not really knowing much about the subject at hand. I'm just getting to the point of skimming on by, muttering Kipling's quote of 'if you can keep your head while all about you....' then you haven't thought it through properly.

Bravo Moll, very well done. Brilliant way to get an MP aware of the wider picture.

Sorry who have I called names?

I wish you could see my gigantic eye roll. Being called misogynistic and even pedophillic for believing it's good to teach young people (teenagers mind, not young children) that people have consensual sex for pleasure. How dare they. Seriously. I feel sorry for your children. Tell you what, why not just teach them that sex is for baby making and leave it at that? I can't see what could possibly go wrong...

@SonEtLumiere

You realise that most young people have seen some kind of porn by the end of primary school right? Yes, it's scary but this is the world we live in

...and do you realise that showing children porn is a criminal offense even if the person doing it is a peer, or a teenage older brother doing it for a laugh? Yes? So why are you minimizing and facilitating the sexual abuse of children, and expecting other people to think you are sooo wise when you are so relaxed about it. You obviously don’t mind nine year olds been subject to sexual abuse, or does it not count as worthy of anything except your assent?

Christ it's not about showing them porn, but showing them images of genetalia so they can see that there is a variety (and don't worry that they aren't normal) is surely a positive thing, no? There's a lot of straw manning happening here.