Debbie and Stephanie Hayton interview transcript

[Clymene]

I thought the women of FWR might be interested in the interview that Debbie and Stephanie did with the Straight Spouse Network podcast this week.

It explains quite a lot about Stephanie's demeanour in their interview with Stella O'Malley for her documentary.

* [edited by MNHQ - broken link removed] * **

AI77 The case of trans windows is uniquely awful. I would not wish that on anyone but neither would I wish AGP on anyone. Neither side had much choice

AI77 There is a massive difference that you seem to be ignoring. Trans widows are innocent bystanders, they are the side that has not done anything, it is something that is being forced onto them.

The case of trans windows is uniquely awful. I would not wish that on anyone but neither would I wish AGP on anyone. Neither side had much choice

When we think of sexual behaviour of any kind and identity that springs from that, it always remains the case that no means no and that other people who do not wish to be party to it are protected in law.

Except for transwidows apparently. They have to suck up someone else sexual behaviour and identity issues because to do differently is 'bigoted' or somehow 'unsupportive'.

This double standard is fucking appalling.

This is why AGP needs to be identified and named as sexual behaviour not just an identity because of the impact it has on those in close relationships with those with this sexual behaviour.

It is not a neutral issue which has no impact.

We know the impact on wives - there is a significant impact on their mental health. And we know that this can affect children too. There is more than one well known AGP who has confessed to stealing their daughters clothing. Psychologically this has to have an impact. And thats without the narcissism.

I find it wholly upsetting that AGP behaviour is minimised and is framed as something that women just have to put up with.

No. These men, no matter what their urges, must be held responsible and accountable for their actions.

Otherwise we leave the door open for other sexual identities and behaviours being something we just have to put up with too and can no say no to because these men are unable to control themselves.

No means no.

Very much agree RedToothBrush

I doubt anyone with any form of paraphilia or fetish chose to have those sexual orientations either, but everyone has the same choice and responsibility of not inflicting unwanted, unwelcomed and unpleasant sexual behaviour on others, and of not involving non consenting participants in their sexual expression and experiences.

Possibly at a slight tangent, but all this desperation to "come out" as AGP after years of torment at hiding their true selves...well, doesn't it position a paraphilia as an identity akin to being gay and in the closet?

How hard is it to keep a sexual fetish to yourself? Genuine question.

That was a hard read.

It struck a chord with me that at one point, Stephanie wanted to end the marriage and Debbie said “Actually NO, I don’t want it to end.”

That happened to me once, and I felt so much pressure to continue the relationship. And I didn’t have decades of emotional investment in the person, let alone three kids to think about.

It’s kind of weird to me that in “coming out” as a woman, someone would act selfishly, with seemingly little regard for others, including their own children.

Along with ironing and bread making, prioritising your children’s needs over your own has traditionally been expected of women.

It’s been noted on the Jane Fae thread that Fae also told their child they were transitioning during an exam period. Seems to be a thing.