Brighton TRAs bullying female small business owner

[SapphosRock]

Urgh. This is happening in my home town and it’s shit.

Happy Maki is a small, vegan cafe and takeaway. It’s a very ethical business. All about sustainability and green energy. They plant a tree and feed a child for each wrap made. It’s a gift economy and the food is free with a suggested donation. All very hippy. You get the idea.

A FTM trans person approached the female owner of Happy Maki and asked for support in fundraising for their top surgery. I believe they wanted a poster in the window asking for money. The owner refused. When pressed the owner said it was against her religious beliefs - she is a follower of the Divine Truth which admittedly sounds a bit ‘out there’ but not entirely unexpected given the nature of her business.

Anyway the TRAs have really gone to town and are posting in every Brighton based Facebook group, Instagram and Twitter accusing the owner of Transphobia and calling for her to apologise:

twitter.com/makiunhappy/status/1314261939833446400?s=21

They seem to be getting a lot of support and gaining a lot of traction too with many saying they are now going to boycott the business.

I’m upset about this for a lot of reasons. Obviously the female owner being bullied and harassed in this way and them encouraging people to email her. The lovely takeaway losing business. It’s also pretty tone deaf to attack the hospitality sector in the midst of a global pandemic for not supporting one individual’s elective, life changing surgery.

Anyway, the reason I’m posting here is in solidarity with the owner Anna. And if any of you lovely lot are nearby then consider getting a Happy Maki takeaway. The food is delicious and I’m sure they could do with some support right now.

www.happymaki.co.uk

This is about someone putting up 'a poster' to ask for cash for their 'top surgery'.
Choosing to frame it as a struggle against oppression when we live in a country where some children don't eat a proper meal every day is the worst kind of middle class cultural appropriation.

But apparently 7 is the same as 10 so fuck knows about 200!

@EvenSupposing

This is about someone putting up 'a poster' to ask for cash for their 'top surgery'. Choosing to frame it as a struggle against oppression when we live in a country where some children don't eat a proper meal every day is the worst kind of middle class cultural appropriation.

Yes. Its staggering, the narcissism.

Erm ok

This person has a small business selling vegan snacks and whatnot.

The law says that you can't refuse to give a service to someone because of xyz.

She hasn't. The person is welcome to buy vegan cookies.

Her religion sounds bonkers but so are most religions TBF. We're just used to the big ones. Who have all sorts of ideas.

No one has to put a poster in their shop window. That's not refusing to serve them.

Your shop front is key to attracting business. In a coffee shop especially, people want to be able to see in and to see out.

If you cover the window with posters it looks pretty shite. Shops cafes etc don't tend to do that.

If you put one please help give cash poster up where does it end? The window would be a patchwork of posters.

And when did it become normal to ask for money for any kind of surgery anyway? That's not a thing as far as I'm aware.

So the answer no is fine. It just is.

Of course as a woman person she didn't stop at no and went into her unusual belief system.

In February?

And now she needs to have her business shut down.

She sells vegan snacks and whatnot. It's a very strange reaction.

I buy stuff from people who I'm sure have different ideas about lots of things, all the time. I mean, buy the thing or don't buy the thing.

I find it interesting that these things always seem to focus on women who don't have loads of corporate backup etc.

Well. Interesting. Telling. I mean. Just so obvious.

Loads of people have loads of beliefs. I have a friend who's a pagan. If she was selling snacks I mean what the fuck does it matter?

Will they shut Tesbury's Morrisrose and Asdl down if they won't put a poster in their front windows, too?

Or do they just target the tiniest?

The Northern Irish cake shop comparison is a really good one, by the way. I don't like that businesses can refuse to put pro-same-sex-marriage slogans on things, but I do like that they can refuse to put stuff I find abhorrent on things, and that's all part of the same right.

I think it came up re: the Maya Forstater case - it's the difference between 'I personally think gay people are going to hell' and 'I'm going to tell the gay people I work with that, every day'. It's profoundly uncomfortable to think that you might be working with someone like that, but if their treatment of you is fair, and kind, you don't have a cause for complaint. You can't control their beliefs.

In this instance, we don't need to agree with the business owner's beliefs or believe every word she says to be able to see that what's going on here is the same kind of bullying that TRAs so regularly engage in. It is probably more complicated than any of us know, but nothing justifies this kind of abuse, and it's a kind we see over and over again, aimed almost exclusively at women who have opinions or boundaries.

Nice gerbil. Right to the heart of all of this bonkers stuff 💪👏

Obviously they'd have to persuade the courts their version of events were true but if they could I think they'd have a good chance of succeeding.

Do you think their harassment campaign will improve their chances of success?

Maya Forstater case - it's the difference between 'I personally think gay people are going to hell' and 'I'm going to tell the gay people I work with that, every day'.

Or ‘I’m not going to tell the gay people I work with that, every day but I reserve the right to do so should I want to’ which was the innovative twist in the MF case.

We take staff grievances and protocol seriously, which sometimes is just a request for a quick chat. For any large issue or request by staff to have a group meeting about particular issues, this needs to be put in writing to myself or a line manager. This was clearly reminded to management and outlined in an email when I first heard that from our assistant manager there were “issues” about a month ago. It was chased up on by myself, the shop manager and business manager because 3 weeks had passed and we were still completely unaware of what any of these issues were. The assistant manager told us that her and the staff concerned were refusing to follow protocol saying they had been “rubbed up the wrong way” by being asked to outline the issues in an email. Our assistant manager also point-blank refused to discuss these with us directly. We called a meeting with her to address this problem with not following protocol, amongst other things that had become problematic.

Our assistant manager and fellow 5 team members organised in secret to turn up to the shop, hijack this meeting and force me to talk about an undisclosed subject so that they could, quote: “see my raw reactions to their accusations”. This is an issue of ethics. It was an act of gross misconduct and I can only describe it as a modern-day witch hunt. I have asked all 6 of them involved never to treat anyone the way we were treated. Myself, the manager and business manager all had to take time off work due to how much it had affected us and I do not say stuff like this lightly.

For 20 minutes we tried to convince them this was not the right way to go about things, but what followed was an hour of threatening and passive aggressive accusations and attacking me for my personal beliefs and opinions referencing divine truth as if it were some sort of bible of laws that I life my life by. I was told that I was uneducated, transphobic and biphobic and that unless I changed my opinion, they weren’t comfortable working for me. This last point I have no issue with, don’t work somewhere you’re not comfortable. But do not ambush and corner your employer, attack them, give them an ultimatum and then decide afterwards thatyoudon’t feel comfortable working that evening. Only to go on and later accuse your employer of putting demands on you and affecting your social security.

I'm not an expert in employment law, but I think that if my boss witnessed me bullying a colleague like that, I think she might be legally entitled to tell me to pack it in, or leave the company.

@OldCrone

Obviously they'd have to persuade the courts their version of events were true but if they could I think they'd have a good chance of succeeding.

Do you think their harassment campaign will improve their chances of success?

I don't think it would make any difference at all. Its very common for companies and owners of companies to face letter writing campaigns and criticism on social media especially following a workplace dispute.

If she made the comments about bisexuals that is claimed and if then when a grievance was made seemed to say drop it, leave or I'll sack you then I think a bisexual worker would have a good case for constructive dismissal. Obviously they'd have to persuade the courts their version of events were true but if they could I think they'd have a good chance of succeeding.

Lol- no chance!

Anyways-what you've just described is a figment of you imagination. and I am fairly sure the courts aren't interested in those.

You should read her blog post. And don't say you have because you very obviously haven't.

I’m even more confused about the Biphobia accusation. It sounds more like “poly-phobia”. She believes people have a single soulmate and thus should be monogamous.

Being bi is unrelated to being poly/mono sexual. Plenty of people of every orientation are poly or mono.

At least they should be accurate.

Also in the old days, and I've known a fair few people with bonkers beliefs, it was quite interesting to hear them.

If no interference with service provided then that's ok.

These people aren't going after, I dunno. Businesses run by people with more mainstream beliefs with really dodgy aspects are they. Just women.

I agree that it's high time this kind of "activism" was formally considered a form of terrorism.

So do I.

@FWRLurker

I’m even more confused about the Biphobia accusation. It sounds more like “poly-phobia”. She believes people have a single soulmate and thus should be monogamous.

Being bi is unrelated to being poly/mono sexual. Plenty of people of every orientation are poly or mono.

At least they should be accurate.

The statement from the former workers also claimed she said being bisexual was a result of unresolved trauma or something.

Dunno. I'm confused too. She hasn't said that people should wait to have sex until they're sure it's their soulmate. She explicitly says in the blog that she doesn't care whether people sleep with one sex or both sexes, but she thinks her belief that everyone has a soulmate out there is being twisted to be framed as biphobia. I would have thought the only way you could twist that as biphobia is if you were one of those (genuinely biphobic!) prats that think bisexual people can't be monogamous.

The Unhappy Maki people claim she said something offensive about the origins of bisexuality. The stated belief is something I find prattish, but
A) people are entitled to very nasty beliefs on the grounds of faith, and
B) let's be clear. I see the exact same opinion in reverse, that everyone is naturally bisexual and lesbians are only lesbian because of trauma, expressed by TRAs on twitter on a daily basis.

I mean, it's not word for word but I think it accurately reflects the spirit in which jj is posting.

@Moonbasealpha

Maya Forstater case - it's the difference between 'I personally think gay people are going to hell' and 'I'm going to tell the gay people I work with that, every day'.

Or ‘I’m not going to tell the gay people I work with that, every day but I reserve the right to do so should I want to’ which was the innovative twist in the MF case.

It.... really wasn't.

Have people lost their minds?

Yes. I think there is some sort of weird mind toxoplasmosis not literally in case you want to cancel me

You don't usually go into a spiel about why you think they're wrong and don't believe in their charity!

You might not. She did. So?

Since most of the posters on here are women, I'd be surprised if most of us hadn't had that sort of experience.

Indeed!

And just catching up.

I have been in workplaces where men have chatted on about strip clubs, paying for sex, etc

I have been paid a lot less than men in 3 jobs that I know about, maybe more that don't. And told to STFU.

I questioned when I was pregnant why men got full pay (for a short time) while women never did. The idea that women should also have full pay for X weeks at the start, same as men, was baffling.

I sit and listen to men chatting about football at the beginning of every meeting. Yes some women like football. But you know what, when they try to join in, it's not welcome. Because it's about male bonding.

I watch the men leave crap in the meeting rooms (pre covid) while the women take their empty cups etc. And then go back and clear up what the men have left. Rather than leaving it to the office manager (female).

And so on and so on.

On the subject of 'elective' surgery. When I was younger I had a friend who was desperate for a breast reduction. She was 22. She had aches, pains, really bad back ache. Answer was no.

What gets me about all this to be frank. Is the sense of entitlement.

All sorts of people go through all sorts of shit and for a variety of reasons just get the fuck on with it.

Trying to get a small business closed down, because you want cosmetic surgery and they won't put a call for cash in the window, is crass. Especially at the moment.